Now that my girls are adults, I have realised I really struggle when it comes to buying their birthday gifts. When they were little it was easy. They'd circle half the Argos catalogue, write a birthday list that was about three miles long and there would always be something they desperately wanted. Dolls, games, craft kits, DVDs, clothes, Lego and the latest craze that everyone was talking about at school. Now they're adults, everything has changed.
Every year, a few weeks before their birthdays, I ask the same question: what they want for their birthday, hoping that this time they'll come up with loads of ideas but the answer is usually the same, that they don't really need anything! That is not helpful at all. Now if they want something, they usually just buy it. They don't have to wait for birthdays any more because they're earning their own money but the downside for me is that it completely ruins my gift ideas.
The older the girls have got, the more practical they've become and so have I. Years ago I'd never have dreamed of buying socks as a birthday present because I would have thought it was far too boring. Now, they're one of the first things I think about because everybody needs socks. The same goes for toiletries. I can remember being younger and wondering why adults bought people shower gel and body lotion as presents because it seemed such a strange thing to give someone. Now I completely understand it and my girls do too. They love a shower gel set.
I could just give them money. I know they'd appreciate it. Who doesn't love a bit of extra money? but I've never really like giving money on its own because it feels like something is missing. Birthdays are supposed to involve wrapping paper and opening presents and wondering what's inside. Gift cards are a little better because at least they show you've thought about where they like shopping but even then, it still feels a bit boring.
Lately, I've started thinking that experience gifts are the answer. Instead of buying more things that might end up sitting on a shelf or being forgotten about, making memories sounds way better. Concert tickets, theatre tickets, an afternoon tea, a spa day or even a night away all sound like presents that will be remembered long after their birthday. I know the experience itself is a gift, but I still want them to have something to open on the day and I am thinking if I bought tickets for something, I could also wrap something silly that goes with the day, some sweets for the journey or maybe even a little travel bag with everything they'd need for the day. That way they'd still have something to open but the main gift would be the day out itself.
This is just another one of those little reminders that my girls really have grown up. I am starting to think it might get easier once they leave home because at least I could buy them something practical that they need, like a new hoover or a set of pans. lol Now I just need someone to tell me what everyone else buys their grown-up children because I can't be the only parent who gets completely stuck every single birthday!
What do you buy your adult children for their birthdays?

That is a good question- what to buy for adult children for their birthday. My son's birthday has always been hard- his is close to Christmas. UGH! Lately, he's asked for specific things which has been nice. My oldest daughter has been in college her adult life or recently graduated. She's in ministry right now meaning she makes VERY LITTLE money! So it's been nice to spoil her, frankly, with "things" for her birthday since she makes little money and doesn't indulge much. I do like the idea of experiences as gifts and we plan to go down to Tennessee where she lives near her birthday and take her to a nearby amusement park. The tickets won't be cheap and I think we'll splurge on upgrading to a fast pass meaning we can bypass the lines. So she will get an experience but I am also getting her some of her favorite things that I know she won't spend her own money on since she's on a strict budget. My youngest is still in college and so she doesn't have a lot of money. She gives us plenty of ideas and that helps!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a true post! I feel your pain on this; I think grown men are even harder than grown women. Sadly, I do usually just give my sons the money they ask for when the time comes for their birthdays. I don't mind it too much, since it's always what they want, but I go all out at Christmas and surprise them with things they didn't ask for.
ReplyDeleteYes! I completely agree with you on the experiences. We actually just started doing that a few years ago for Christmas- making memories is the greatest gift of all :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this post! For Christmas, my adult kids just give me their Amazon wish list and I buy from there, but birthdays I just give money.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are really grown - in their late 30's and early 40's and they now get money for their birthdays. I do still buy gifts for Christmas though because like you, I want them to have something to open.
ReplyDeleteI like the experience idea!
Yes, I've been where you are. We have actually stopped birthday gifts with my "boys" (who are both older than you!!), but I send the grandkids (adults with good jobs!) a gift card or some money in a card. They live miles away and I rarely see them, but they at least know I'm thinking of them on their special day. It was so much more fun when I could buy nail polish and Legos. Love is the best gift, and they know I love them. Your girls know you love them, too!!
ReplyDeleteKim, you nailed it completely with this post! But I have to admit, I finally caved to $ gifts so they could take what I gave and get something that they were waiting on or saving for.
ReplyDeleteI like experience gifts too; thankfully my boys can usually come up with some idea but I do struggle when they don't have any ideas.
ReplyDeleteYes.. yes!! It is so hard for me too!! I typically do money and gift cards and will add maybe one special inexpensive gift to it so they have something to open. All of my kids LOVE MONEY!!! My daughter loves gift cards to get her nails or hair done. My boys are like just give me money please. LOL! I would rather give them what they really want.
ReplyDeleteUsually for the guys I will gift them money and a shirt or small need I know they would like. For example, our oldest birthday I gifted him a little cash along with two jersey shirts of his favorite baseball team. Our youngest son always needs money. LOL! We gifted him some money and then some of his favorite snacks and sometimes a pair of shoes because he is a big shoe person.
My daughter I gift her a gift certificate to get her hair done because that is what she hinted at and because that is pricey I just added a small gift card for her to grab lunch after her hair day!
But you are spot on... it is hard. I also DO NOT like buying for them at Christmas. That is a whole other ballpark.