Mother’s Day with mixed feelings!

Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday and every year I have this weird mix of feelings about it. It’s always been a bit of a strange one for me. For some people, it’s all flowers, breakfast in bed, the perfect card and those cheesy my mum is my best friend photos on social media and for others it’s complicated, emotional or just a day they’d rather skip completely. For me, I am somewhere in the middle.

I don’t have a mum to celebrate with any more and even when I did, we didn't have the best relationship. She wasn’t the kind of mum who was always there or who gave hugs and reassurances when I needed them. I learnt a lot about what not to do from her. Towards the end of her life she made choices I didn't agree with and there was no relationship at all. I’m OK with that now but I wasn’t OK with it for a long time. I used to be that person who would block emails from every company sending out Mother’s Day reminders. It used to feel like a punch in the gut, a reminder of what I didn’t have. It took me a while to figure out that Mother’s Day doesn’t have to look like a Hallmark card to have meaning. Now it’s about the life I’ve built, the girls I’ve raised and the woman I’ve grown into along the way. That to me is the best gift ever!

Being a mum is something you can’t really prepare for. You can read all the books, watch all the videos, take every piece of advice and still nothing really prepares you for it. One minute it’s just you and the next you’re responsible for a whole human being who relies on you for everything. Mother’s Day always makes me think back to those early days: the endless nappies, the feeding schedules and the kind of tired where you lose track of the days. I poured so much of myself into being a mum back then, often without even realising and looking back I feel proud of that.

Not having a great relationship with my own mum meant I didn’t have a clear example to follow. I didn’t have anyone to ring up and ask Is this normal? Or what would you do? Most of my mothering came from instinct, trial and error and a promise to myself that I’d do things differently where I could. Mother’s Day makes me think about that a lot. It’s not about comparing myself to other mums or feeling like I’m falling short. It’s about knowing that I showed up even when it was hard. I listened, I learned and I apologised when I got it wrong.

Mother’s Day changes as the kids grow. When the girls were little it was all about the handmade cards, messy scribbles and sticky fingerprints. Now it’s less about the crafts and more about conversations, a hug, a text, a shared laugh and sometimes just being together is enough and I love that.

I’d be lying if I said Mother’s Day was always easy. There’s a mix of emotions, and sometimes the sadness sneaks in when I least expect it. Not because I want to celebrate my own mum but because grief has a way of just turning up. Social media doesn’t help either. Every scroll is full of captions about mums being their kids everything. Over the years I’ve learnt to step back from that and just focus on my girls and me. Mother’s Day has taken on a whole new meaning thanks to my girls. I love the small indulgences, the extra attention, the cups of tea brought to me without me having to ask and the silly little treats that make the day feel special. It makes me think about how I mother my girls the best I can, even when it’s hard.

Mother’s Day is all about the family I’ve built, the lessons I’ve learned and the strength I didn’t know I had until I needed it. It’s not about my past. It’s about my present. It’s about being a mum who shows up, keeps learning and loves her girls!

The Wednesday Hodgepodge #46

I hope you are all having a good week. It's Wednesday, which means it's time to join in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge with Joyce who blogs at From This Side of the Pond! Each week there are 6 questions, we answer and then link up. Simple!

1. Are you a naturally trusting person? Is trust built on logic or 'gut instinct'? Does everyone deserve a second chance? Elaborate.

I wouldn’t say I’m naturally trusting these days. I probably used to be when I was younger as I just assumed people were decent and honest but life has a way of teaching you those lessons over time. After being burned a few times, I’ve put my guard up a bit. I’m friendly but I don’t hand out trust straight away. For me, trust is something that grows in time and is earned. I like to watch how people behave, how they treat others and whether their actions match their words.

Trust is both a mix of gut instinct and logic for me. Sometimes I meet someone and something just feels a bit off and I can’t quite explain why. I’ve learned it’s usually worth listening to that feeling. Other times it’s more about paying attention to patterns. If someone is kind, reliable and consistent, trust slowly builds without even realising it.

When it comes to second chances, I think it depends on the situation. People do make mistakes and sometimes they do learn from them but I don’t think everyone deserves endless chances either. If someone keeps doing the same thing over and over at some point, you have to say enough is enough.

2. 'Beware the Ides of March'...March 15th on the ancient Roman calendar, these words were made famous by William Shakespeare in his play Julius Caesar. Caesar was assassinated on March 15th 44 B.C. Have you read any Shakespeare? If so, do you have a favorite? Have you ever been to Rome?

I’ve read a bit of Shakespeare but only at school. The one my class read was A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Parts of it were fun but I struggled to understand the language. I do remember being a bit jealous that the other class got to read Romeo and Juliet which I always liked better. Around that time Baz Luhrmann was just releasing his movie version with Leonardo DiCaprio so everyone was talking about it and it made the story feel extra exciting.

I’ve never been to Rome but it’s definitely one of those places I’d love to visit. It just seems like one of those cities where everywhere you turn there’s something amazing to see.

3. Do you like a Caesar salad? If given the choice between a garden/house salad or Caesar which do you order? Anchovies or no? What's your favorite salad dressing?

Caesar salad has never really tempted me. I’ll always go for a simple garden/house salad instead. Just lettuce, cucumber, tomato, maybe a bit of onion. That’s all I need but definitely no anchovies! When it comes to dressing, I’m a Salad Cream fan. Is it just a UK thing? It's sort of like mayonnaise but not as thick, it's a little tangy, a little sweet and just right for a salad!

4. Where do you typically work (or blog if that's easier) at home? Do you have a dedicated home office space? Are you happy with that space?

Most of my blogging happens in my armchair in the living room. It’s where I’m most comfortable and where I seem to get the most done. I can sit here with my laptop on my knee, watching the TV and have a drink and snacks nearby, then I just get on with writing. I even wrote a whole blog post about my armchair at the start of the year. I don’t have a home office space. I know lots of people have lovely desks and beautiful offices but the living room is good enough for me and I like being in the middle of the house rather than tucked away somewhere else.

5. Snow drops, daffodils, lenten roses, crocus, hyacinth, or early tulips...what's your favorite early Spring flower?

It has to be Daffodils! The minute I start seeing daffodils popping up in gardens, parks and along the roadsides, it feels like spring is properly starting. They’re so bright and such a cheerful flower! After months of grey skies and bare gardens, they are something we need to see at this time of year. Most weeks I always buy a bunch or two to have in the house. They are only £1 a bunch, so it feels like a really inexpensive treat! They’re a simple little thing that make a room feel a bit happier.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

As I am writing this I am watching the replay of the F1 Australian Grand Prix, I wasn't getting up at 4am to watch it live. I stopped watching it in the early 2000's and only got back into is because my youngest has started watching over the last year. Over the past week I have been playing catch up learning all about the teams and cars! Watching the race reminded me how much I love it, the roaring engines, the speed and all the drama. My youngest says I'm not allowed to like George Russell but he is my favourite at the moment. I was so stressed watching him trying to overtake Charles Leclerc. Eek!

Share our Lives - Grocery List Frequent Buys!

It’s that time of the month again to share some of my life and join in with the other Share Our Lives bloggers. This month the prompt is: Grocery List Frequent Buys!

Grocery shopping happens every week here. I usually do one big food shop and get it delivered and then nip to the local shop for bread and milk and the farm shop for fruit and veg just to get some steps in! Most weeks I get Gousto boxes delivered, which cover three or four of our evening meals each week. It’s such a game changer because I don’t have to think about grocery shopping for those meals and it introduces us to some recipes we might never try otherwise.

I tend to do online orders because it's just easier and get the food shop delivered. When I order online I always go through my list of favourites and most bought items and end up adding the same things each week. There are certain items that are just non-negotiable in our house. They go on the list week in, week out, rain or shine and these are those things:

Milk!

We go through about 12 pints a week and sometimes more if we're into having hot chocolate, milkshakes or smoothies that week!

Bread!

I buy a thick sliced loaf for toast and a medium sliced loaf for everything else. In the warmer months we I usually buy two loaves of medium sliced bread as we seem to eat more.

Cheese!

Cheese is something I buy every week without fail. Sliced cheese for snacking, grated mozzarella, a block of Red Leicester and maybe some cheddar too. I don’t eat a ton of cheese myself but my family more than make up for it.

Yoghurts!

I like to mix things up here so the flavours vary week by week, they’re usually something fruity. Everyone in the house has their favourites and it’s one of those items that disappears quickly if I don’t make sure there’s enough.

Fresh Fruit!

Apples, oranges, bananas, grapes and whatever else is on offer. In the summer, strawberries and melon make regular appearances.

Vegetables!

Carrots, onions, potatoes and mushrooms make it onto my list every week. We also stock up on tinned peas and sweetcorn most weeks. Depending on the season, I might add in salad leaves, tomatoes or even fresh corn on the cob. I like to have the basics for cooking but I also enjoy throwing in a few extras when they’re in season.

Brunch bars!

Stu takes brunch bars to work as a snack so I always grab a box of Belvita bars and a couple of packets of Cadbury Brunch Bars. They’re a lifesaver for mornings when there isn’t time for anything else or for when someone just wants a sweet treat.

Sliced ham!

We go through so much ham in this house. It’s perfect for sandwiches, quick snacks or even thrown into omelettes. My girls call it thinking food as they will stand looking into the fridge, eating ham while thinking about what to eat.

Chocolate chip muffins!

These are a breakfast food in our house. We all reach for them when toast or cereal isn’t hitting the spot. They’re a little reminder that breakfast doesn’t always have to be serious.

Juice of some sort!

We all drink diluted juice here, usually blackcurrant or orange. I’ll often buy a couple of cartons of fresh orange or apple juice too. It’s nice to have options.

Pasta sauce!

My eldest has some sort of pasta dish after work most mornings (she works night shifts) so it’s easier for her to cook something quick when she gets in. I usually bulk buy the pasta so that doesn’t go on the list each week but pasta sauce does. She goes through a couple of jars a week and it’s one of those items I never forget because running out would be the end of the world for her.

A meal deal!

On the day when I get the food shop delivered, I always treat myself to a meal deal. It’s usually a sandwich, a snack, and a drink for about £4. I like to think of it as a little treat and a reward for bringing the food shop in.

Depending on the time of year I’ll also add a few extra bits to the weekly food shop. In the summer it will be fresh berries, salad things and ice cream. In the winter there's tins of soup and hot chocolate added to the list.

What things do you buy every week with your grocery shop?

I am linking up with:

Adrienne from Mom Life with Adrienne.

Dara from Not In Jersey.

Jen from Show me & Sweet tea.

Joanne from Slices of Life.

Our weekly meal plan! 9th - 15th March!! #MealPlanningMonday

How was your weekend? Ours was good. Everyone was home but it was a quiet one. I pottered around the house for most of it, waiting for parcels and having a spring-clean. I always feel so motivated at this time of year when the sun has been shining. I say it has been shining because it was pretty dull and grey over the weekend but at least it didn't rain!

Last week's meal plan went pretty well. We swapped around a couple of meals but everything was eaten! Our favourite meal of the week was of course the Crispy Chicken Katsu Curry Burritos! I love meals like that where you take something you already enjoy and put a slightly different twist on it. They were easy to make and almost everyone enjoyed them. Becky decided to have garlic chicken in her wraps, so Stu, Ellie and myself quite happily ate her portion. Hehehe

This week is going to be a week of ticking things off my monthly to-do list! I am going to sand all the wood on and around the fireplace and hopefully get that painted, make a start on planting seeds and if I have time, I will start a Lego set that I have.

On the menu this week we have:

Monday - Gousto meal - Smoky Hunters Chicken With Sweet Potato Mash & Greens!

We had this at the start of the year and really enjoyed it so it's back on the menu again. It is chicken smothered in a smoky BBQ sauce with plenty of cheese on top. Served with sweet potato mash and garlicky greens.

Tuesday - Gousto meal - Marmite & Peanut Butter Pork Udon!

I'll caramelise pork mince in Marmite until crispy while making a Marmite and peanut butter satay sauce. Spinach and udon noodles will be mixed in and topped with crushed peanuts for a bit of crunch. It's funny half the family hates peanut butter and half hates Marmite but we seem to really love these sorts of dishes and they always go down so well.

Wednesday - Gousto meal - Red Wine Fable Mushroom Ragù Tortiglioni!

A hearty pasta dish with a rich tomato ragu made from Fable mushrooms, carrots and shallots. The pasta is finished with Pangrattato, crispy garlicky breadcrumbs sprinkled on top. (Yes I had to Google what Pangrattato is.)

Thursday - Fish fingers, home made chips and baked beans!

Easy to make and enjoyed by everyone. The fish fingers will just be out of the freezer. There's nothing fancy about this meal unless you count my homemade chips. I have been told they are pretty good!

Friday - Pizza!

This might be homemade, out of the freezer or ordered in. It really depends on how the week has gone!

Saturday - Gousto meal - Sage & Onion Pork Stuffing Yorkshire Pudding Wrap!

I am so excited to try this one! The Yorkshire Pudding Wrap is filled with sage and onion stuffing balls, roasted vegetables and spinach, then covered in plenty of onion gravy.

Sunday - A help yourself evening!

Sunday is usually a lazy day for us all, so everyone can just help themselves to whatever they fancy. I know I won't be cooking as it's Mother's Day and it's my day off from all of the cooking! 

What are you eating this week?