The end of an era: My youngest has left education!

There we have it. My youngest has left full time education. Well, it was last week actually but I spent the weekend trying to take it in that my baby is no longer a student. For the last sixteen and a half years, education has been a huge part of Ellie's life with school runs, packed lunches, parents evenings, school trips, homework battles, uniform shopping, exam stress, college assignments and everything in between. It has been our normal for so long that I can't quite imagine what life will look like without it but here we are!

It only seems like yesterday that Ellie was a tiny little girl clutching my hand as we walked into nursery for the first time, well, clutching my hand going through the gate and then running into the classroom. She loved nursery! Ellie was born right at the end of August, making her the youngest in her year group all the way through school. To put it into perspective, Ellie had just turned three when she started nursery in September, while some of the children in her year group were turning four only days later. Some of the children looked so grown up compared to her and there was my tiny little girl trying to keep up.

Looking back, Ellie didn't exactly have the easiest journey through education. Her primary school years were tough. Anyone who has followed my blog for a long time will probably remember some of the posts I wrote years ago about the bullying Ellie experienced, this post has links to a few of them. Kids can be so mean. It was one of the hardest things to watch as a parent. There were many tears, mostly from me, difficult conversations and lots of sleepless nights where I worried about what the next school day would bring. As parents, we spend years teaching our children to be kind and thoughtful, so it can be heart breaking when other children don't show those same qualities. The bullying seemed to follow Ellie through much of primary school and it knocked her confidence massively.

During her final year of primary school, when Ellie was around ten years old, one of her teachers thought that she might be autistic. Eventually, it became clear that autism wasn't the issue and Ellie was diagnosed with social anxiety. Considering everything she had experienced, it wasn't surprising. When you've spent years being bullied, it chips away at your confidence little by little but despite everything, Ellie kept going.

It wasn't all bad though. One thing that always makes me smile when I think back is that Ellie has always got on better with boys than girls. She had a little group of boys that were her best friends. There were also plenty of happy memories. Her teachers absolutely adored her. She was never the child who loved sitting quietly writing pages and pages of work. She has always been someone who prefers doing things. As soon as she got to do something practical, creative or hands on and she was in her element. There was the year she built a model of Hadrian's Wall and one of the Roman forts. I think it was in Year 4. She put so much effort into it and ended up having it displayed in the school library for months afterwards.

Then there were the World War Two biscuits she made at home. Those sorts of projects were always right up her street, she loved being hands-on, creating things. She also joined the school choir and absolutely loved taking part in school productions and performed in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and later in Beauty and the Beast. They seemed to give her so much confidence. She also played in the school band playing the trombone!

Then came secondary school. The first year wasn't easy because the bullying problems reappeared and Ellie hated pretty much every moment she spent at that school but then we moved house and Ellie changed schools and that changed everything! Ellie started her new school at the beginning of Year 8 and the difference was incredible! She was genuinely happy, made friends, was accepted and that year was probably the first time she truly understood why people say that school days are the happiest days of your life.

In 2020 everything changed again when Covid arrived. Our lives turned upside down, schools closed, lessons moved online and our normal lives stopped. Home learning wasn't exactly Ellie's favourite thing and that's probably putting it politely. I can laugh about it now but at the time it was frustrating. The biggest battle was getting her to turn her camera on during Zoom lessons. She refused but her teachers were incredibly understanding because I don't think we were the only family having those sorts of struggles. At one point, it felt as though Ellie had taken a step backwards with all the progress she had made. The confidence she'd built seemed to drain from her and I worried about how she would cope when schools reopened but all the worry was for nothing. As soon as the school reopened, she settled straight back in. Phew!

We always joked that Ellie never actually got a full secondary school experience. When we moved house, she finished year 7 a couple of weeks early, then Covid with the lockdowns, meant she didn't have much in year 8, 9 and 10 and in her last year in year 11 she finished early because of exams but despite all of that, she thrived. She found her voice, became more independent and learned who she was. When GCSE results day arrived, I don't think any of us quite knew what to expect. Ellie had worked hard but she'd also had so many disruptions but the results surprised us all. She did brilliantly. The last part of secondary school really showed us the young woman Ellie was becoming because on Prom Day she dressed up in not the typical prom dress, made a grand entrance and owned who she was.

After school came college. Just after turning sixteen, Ellie started an Electrical Engineering course. I don't think many people expected her to choose that path but it suited her perfectly. Engineering made complete sense and she loved it, especially the practical side. Whenever she talked about college, it was always the workshop sessions she was most excited about. She loved the wiring, the hands-on work and doing things instead of sitting in a classroom all day!

Life wasn't completely straightforward. Towards the end of her first year at college, Ellie went through some really difficult things. They were some of the hardest experiences we've faced as a family and Ellie handled them far better than I did. There were moments when I looked at her and realised she wasn't a little girl any more. In her third year at college, she decided to move onto a more general engineering course and has now passed with flying colours.

And that's it. No more school, college, no more buying stationery every September, no more waiting for exam results, educational milestones and it is a strange feeling. Part of me is excited for Ellie, she has her whole future ahead of her, part of me is so proud of everything that she has achieved and part of me is wondering how all these years have disappeared so quickly.

When I look back at everything Ellie has faced throughout her education, I think it would have been easy for her to give up but she has never stopped moving forward. Those challenges have helped shape the person she is today. They made her stronger, more determined and now she is a confident, caring and capable young woman who is standing here today with her head held high. I don't think I could be any prouder!

Celebrating International Women in Engineering Day!

International Women in Engineering Day is celebrated every year on 23rd June, which is today. It is all about celebrating women who are working in engineering and encouraging more girls to get into it.

If I’m being honest, I used to fall into that old way of thinking where engineering looked like a man's job. When I heard the word engineer, I’d picture hard hats, big machinery, all of that stuff and usually men doing it. I never really pictured women in those roles. It’s funny how your thinking changes over time. Things changed when my youngest Ellie started showing an interest in engineering. That’s when it clicked that those old ideas didn’t really match reality any more. Things are changing, slowly but surely. The problem before was just that women weren’t really visible in those jobs, so a lot of girls probably never even thought it was something they could do. That’s exactly why days like this matter.

As a mam, it's a day that has become quite special to me because my youngest daughter is on her own engineering journey. Ellie is just finishing three years studying engineering at college. She did two years of City & Guilds Electrical Installation, which was tough going at times and she’s just finishing up an NVQ in Performing Engineering Operations. The latest course has been a bit easier for her, especially without the big end of year exam being a thing. Ellie's course finishes on Friday and she’s already been told she’s passed, which I’m so proud of.

Ellie has never once acted like engineering is just for boys. She has spent the last few years proving that thinking belongs in the past. When she started Electrical Engineering at college, she was the only girl in her class. Sixteen years old, walking into a room full of lads would’ve been my worst nightmare but she just got on with it like it was nothing and focused on what she was there to do. A couple of weeks later, another girl joined but by then Ellie had already settled in and made her mark. There was the odd supply teacher who’d walk in and assume she couldn’t do the same as the boys, like she wouldn’t be strong enough or be able to handle the tools and she’d prove them wrong without making a big deal of it but deep down she loved showing them anything a boy can do she could too and sometimes even better!

It has been fantastic to see more girls joining engineering courses over the last few years. When Ellie first started, there were only a handful but that number is slowly growing. It feels like things are finally shifting in the right direction, where girls are actually seeing engineering as something they can choose for themselves.

Today I’ll be celebrating all the women already doing amazing things in engineering, the girls studying it now, and the ones just starting out and of course, I’m a bit extra proud of Ellie today too. She’s worked so hard, stuck with it when things were not easy and never let anything put her off. I don’t know exactly where her engineering will take her next but I do know she’ll give it everything she’s got!

Happy International Women in Engineering Day to all the brilliant women and girls shaping the future!

Exam stress and how to support from the sidelines!

Exam season is starting soon here in the UK. GCSE's, A-Levels, end of year exams and whatever other exams always seem to happen at this time of year. Exam season has a way of taking over the whole house, even when you’re not the one sitting the exams. Suddenly there are revision notes everywhere, the kettle is working overtime and emotions are running a bit high. If you’ve been there you’ll know exactly what I mean. You’re not revising but you’re still very much in it.

I’ve been through exams with my girls and supporting from the sidelines is a strange role. You want to help, you want to fix the stress and you also don’t want to say the wrong thing and make it worse. Over time, I’ve picked up a few handy hints which are mostly through trial and error. This post is about what exam stress really looks like at home, how to support without hovering and the small things that actually help when the pressure is on.

Before I even get into what I do, let’s talk about what exam stress actually looks like because it doesn’t always come across with your kids saying they are stressed. Sometimes it looks like: Snapping over tiny things, suddenly deciding they hate a subject they were fine with last week, bursting into tears because they can't find the right spoon, avoiding revision altogether, trying to revise everything at once and burning out by Tuesday and sometimes it looks like they’re absolutely fine until 11pm when panic suddenly arrives.

One thing I’ve learned is not to dismiss it. Exams feel huge when you’re in them, even if we know as adults that life doesn’t hinge on one paper on a Thursday morning. So acknowledge it and say things like, you know it's hard and it makes sense they're feeling fed up. That alone takes the edge off.

I don’t try to be the teacher!

Early on, I made the classic mistake of trying to help too much. Sitting down with revision guides, asking questions, explaining things the way I understood them. That lasted about five minutes before everyone was annoyed. They don’t need us to reteach algebra or Shakespeare, that’s what school, teachers, YouTube, and revision apps are for. What they need from us is support. Now, my role is more asking what they’re revising today, helping them break things into chunks, being a sounding board when they want to rant about a topic and if they ask for help, great and if not, I stay in my lane.

Focus on progress, not perfection!

One of the biggest stress triggers is the idea that they have to know everything. Every topic, every quote, every formula and that’s just not realistic! So always bring it back to progress. Instead of: You should be revising more, go with: What have you covered today? Instead of: You don’t know that yet? try: You know more than you did last week. Little shifts like that matter. They stop revision feeling pointless and start it feeling doable. Exams aren’t about being perfect, they’re about doing the best you can with what you know on the day.

Food, sleep, and water matter more than we think!

This sounds obvious but it’s the bit people forget first. When exams roll around, routines go a bit wobbly. Late nights revising, skipped meals, living on snacks and caffeine and then everyone wonders why emotions are all over the place. Don’t lecture about health, make sure there’s proper food available, encourage actual meals, not just grabbing biscuits, nudge bedtime when you can and hand over drinks without making a thing of it. A tired, hungry brain is not a helpful brain. Even an extra half hour of sleep can make a difference the next day. I’ve seen it happen.

Help them plan but don’t micromanage!

Revision timetables can either be brilliant or completely ignored. There is no in-between. What’s worked best for us is keeping things flexible. A rough plan rather than a strict schedule. Knowing what they want to revise and not setting times to do it will just create guilt when plans change. What exams are coming up first? What topics feel hardest? What do they already feel OK about? Then prioritise the hard stuff earlier. Easier stuff later and the rest slotted in somewhere. Once the plan exists, step back and it is up to them. If I hover, it becomes my stress, not theirs, and that never ends well.

Talk about nerves before exam day, not just during!

Exam nerves don’t wait politely until the morning of the exam. They creep in days before, especially at night when everything feels louder. So talk about it in advance. What exam day will actually look like, how nerves are normal and expected. That feeling shaky doesn’t mean you’ll do badly. I remind them that nerves are just energy, you can walk into an exam feeling nervous and still do absolutely fine. I also share stories from my own school days. Not in a "back in my day" way but in a "I survived this and you will too" way. It helps them see that this will end.

On exam mornings keep things calm and boring!

Exam mornings are not the time for pep talks or last-minute cramming. Have a normal routine, a calm voice with no big emotional speeches. Say things like, "You’ve done what you can," or "Just do your best and see what happens." Then talk about something completely unrelated. What’s for tea. A TV show. Anything but the exam. They already know it matters. They don’t need reminding at 8:15am.

Get ready for the emotional crash after!

Something I didn’t expect the first time around was the after part. That moment when they come home and everything spills out. Relief, tears, anger, overthinking every answer. From the sidelines, this is when listening matters most. Let them talk, nod, agree that it was tough and then gently steer them away from replaying every question. Once it’s done, it’s done, there’s no prize for suffering twice!

Remind them they are more than their grades!

This is probably the most important bit. Exams can make kids feel like a number, a letter or a result and I never want them to feel like that, so I will tell them that I am proud of the effort, not just the outcome. One exam doesn’t define them. I’ve watched my girls grow through exams. Not just academically but emotionally too. They’ve learned resilience, time management, and how to keep going when things feel hard. Those skills matter far beyond any certificate.

If you’re walking this road with your own kids right now, give yourself some credit. You’re juggling so much and that’s no small thing and when it’s finally done, take a breath, put the kettle on and remember you got through it together and that matters just as much as any result!

Are your kids taking any exams over the next couple of months?

Back to school feelings as a grown up!

It's September so that means it's back to school time this week for lots of youngsters who are in education. My youngest is going into her last year at college (further education). Things are very relaxed around here, we feel old hands at this back to school lark but there is still something exciting about it even for me as an adult with now adult children!

Even if you haven’t set foot in a classroom for years that back to school feeling just feels good. It’s a mix of nostalgia, excitement and this strange urge to get your life together. I haven’t had to pack a school bag in years but I still find myself wanting to buy new notebooks, pens, label things and start fresh.

I was in town a couple of weeks ago watching parents and children buy the back to school supplies and uniforms and I actually missed doing that. All Ellie needed this year was some pens and a notebook so I treated myself to a new notebook too. Did I need another notebook? Of course not. Did I buy it because it has a pretty cover and smooth paper? Absolutely! Every year I fall victim to the stationery trap. When I was at school it was all about persuading my mam that I definitely needed a brand new set of gel pens, despite having a pencil case bursting with perfectly good ones from last year. Now as a fully grown woman I don’t have to justify my stationery purchases to anyone. hehehe

I will no doubt be seeing kids in oversized uniforms, heading to school and it takes me straight back to my own first days of term, hating everything being too big and then doing the same and buying bigger for my girls so they wouldn't grow out of everything within a month. I remember wondering who my new teachers would be, seeing friends again after the summer and feeling excited. Now I get to enjoy it from the outside, without the 7am alarm going off or having double maths to deal with.

For me September has always felt more like the start of a new year than January ever does. January is cold, dark and generally involves eating leftover Christmas treats but September feels like a much more relaxed start. Summer tends to throw everything out of routine with late nights and lying in bed later than usual. By September I’m craving a bit of structure again and the cosy factor which happens around now is a big bonus. It feels like we're heading into Autumn fast and I am happy about it. The evenings start to cool which means it's the return of my fleecy PJ's. It's getting darker earlier and at this time of year I always say I love the dark nights, shutting the curtains early and getting cosy. I even love those mornings when you step outside and there’s that crisp, just barely there chill. It’s also the start of good TV again and my first thoughts go to Strictly Come Dancing and The Great British Bake off!

I’ve made my own little traditions for this time of year. Buying a new candle which is always something warm and spicy like cinnamon or vanilla. I’ll start a new notebook, do some baking and have tons of motivation to get things done around the house. This time as an adult is all about getting to keep all the fun bits from the back to school season. Ditching the early mornings, the awkward group projects and the strict uniform rules and keeping the fresh start, the cosy feelings and the little spark of excitement. It's all the fun of the season without the stress.

So no I’m not going back to school this week but I am going to write in my new notebook, light an autumn scented candle and do a bit of decluttering!

Do you like back to school season?

What to buy teachers for the end of the school year and what to avoid!

As soon as we hit June the end of the school year seems to come so quickly. One minute you’re labelling water bottles and hunting for missing PE kits and the next you’re blinking back tears as you realise your child is another year older and their lovely teacher has been a daily part of their life for the past 10 months. Whether it’s their first year in Reception or they’re heading off to secondary school saying thank you to a teacher can feel like a big deal!

So, what do you actually buy a teacher to show your appreciation?

Personalised gifts but be thoughtful about them!

Think keyrings, tote bags or notebooks. Things that are actually useful. Something with the child’s name and year or a little message can feel really special.

A heartfelt thank you card!

A card with a handwritten message from your child can mean more than anything money can buy. Teachers will often keep these in a little stash for when they’ve had a rough day. Bonus points if your child draws a little picture of the classroom or writes something funny they’ve remembered.

Gift vouchers!

It might not seem personal but it’s genuinely one of the most appreciated gifts. Whether it’s for a coffee shop, book store or Amazon! Vouchers allow teachers to treat themselves to something they’ll actually use. Even a £5 voucher feels like a little luxury especially when you add a note showing your appreciation.

Plants or flowers!

A cheerful potted plant or a little bunch of flowers can brighten their home (or classroom). Opt for something low maintenance, think succulents or mini roses. Just avoid huge bouquets that are difficult to get home on the bus.

A group gift!

If you’re in a WhatsApp group with other parents why not club together for one lovely gift? It could be a spa voucher, a restaurant gift card or a nice bottle of fizz. One amazing gift can sometimes mean more than ten novelty candles.

What Not to Buy a Teacher!

While all gifts are appreciated in spirit there are a few things that can be a bit questionable. Here’s what might be better left on the shop shelf:

"World’s Best Teacher" tat!

Yes, it’s cute but how many plaques, mugs and fridge magnets can one person own? After five years of teaching, they’ve probably got a drawer full.

Anything too personal!

Scented body lotion, bath bombs or perfumes sound like a nice idea unless the teacher is allergic, hates strong smells or already has a shelf full. Unless you know their preferences it’s safer to skip it.

Homemade food (unless you’re really confident)!

While that tray of cupcakes might look delicious to you, teachers can be a bit cautious about homemade treats (allergies, hygiene and all that). Shop bought goodies might be a better bet or just stick to the card!

Joke gifts!

Unless you know the teacher well enough to be sure they’ll take it in good humour it’s best not to go down the novelty route. That huge wine glass or cheeky coaster might be hilarious to you but it might not land the same way with everyone.

Do you buy the teachers presents at the end of the school year?

The 2nd Year of college is done!

Ellie, my youngest has now been mostly finished college for a couple of weeks apart from going in to finish a couple of things off. It has been quite the year for her, especially after things which happened last summer which I am not going to talk about. She hasn't finished college for good, she is just on her summer break and will be returning in September which reminds me I have have forms to fill in.

When September came around I had been on the phone to the safeguarding staff at college least once a week for the whole of the summer. Ellie hadn't done anything wrong, I was in discussions about how to keep her safe. They were absolutely amazing!!! They went above and beyond to keep her safe in college and by Christmas she was on first name terms with the security guards, reception staff and wellbeing support! 

For the first 3 months or so of Ellie being at college I was taking and picking her up. They could keep her safe in college but the in-between bit was a bit trickier as the bus stop is a little walk away from college. Getting the bus was a nightmare, I hated it! It took me about an hour and a half hour each way. Getting to college on a morning is simple, it's one bus but then I have to come home which involves a 15 minute walk, a bus, then another bus and another 15 minute walk. I had the same journey to do on an afternoon to pick her up, 2 buses there but thankfully it's just one bus home again. Thank goodness for the direct college bus first thing on a morning and last thing on an afternoon. I kept my distance, she sat with her friends and I sat on any empty seat! I hated it! College kids are so loud. lol

She settled in well to the college year and there was an extra girl in her class so there were 3 girls and about 18 boys. Engineering is such a male dominated subject so it was nice to hear that more girls are getting into it.

In January there was a little blip, Ellie skipped a few lessons but because I was in touch with the college so much I found out before it became a problem and may have marched Ellie into college to apologise to a teacher for missing classes. I gave them permission to ring me whenever she skipped lesson again and she never did! I did get one phone call though. Ellie had an assessment and thought it was easier to go to the classroom where it was than to check into the engineering department first. Her tutor thought she was missing, rang me but Ellie was just where she was supposed to be without bothering with the middle bit. Oops.

This year Ellie was doing the Level 2 electrical engineering course and for the first half of the year they were just going over what she had learned in the previous year. She didn't find it much harder than Level 1, there was just more detail in it. She has worked hard, learned lots and has passed everything that she needed to complete the course!

Ellie still refuses to go to the canteen at lunchtime, I can imagine how busy it gets so if she doesn't get to go at morning break she will wait until the afternoon. She has took advantage of the free breakfasts when the bus has got there early and keeps telling me about the amazing hash browns!

Ellie did take advantage of the wellbeing services that they offer at college. Counselling services, somewhere to go just to take a break from the hustle and bustle of college life and again all the staff were amazing. Her engineering wellbeing person has been having fortnightly meetings with her just to check in and make sure everything is going as it should. I really can't thank the support staff enough.

The only gripe both Ellie and I have had with college is they email her when we have both told them to email me. Ellie is still under 18 so it is allowed and supposed to happen but they insist on sending important emails to Ellie's inbox and of course she doesn't check her emails. Things about finance, bus passes and when exams are. 

Now Ellie has the whole of summer to enjoy, her last proper one. This time next year she will be off into the real world. Eek!

How has your kids year at school or college gone?

Her 2nd year at college.

I always write a blog post each year about how my girls are getting on with the new school/college year. There's only Ellie in education now and she has not long started her 2nd year at college doing electrical engineering.

To say we were dreading her return to college would be an understatement. A lot happened over the summer that I still can't write about as it's a police matter. Up until a few days before Ellie went back to college a lot of things were still up in the air. We went to collect her bus pass on the Monday and ended up having a chat with one of the safeguarding staff members who said a lot had changed in the week where we hadn't spoken and Ellie would be safe in college as things had been put in place to ensure that! I was so relieved knowing Ellie would be safe at college and of course at home, now it was the inbetween bit which started to worry me. Ellie gets a bus to college and so far I have been taking and picking her up. It's 5 hours out of my day with the trips there and back but I really don't mind, her safety comes first. I did write about my first week taking the bus in one of my Word of the Week posts.

Like I said Ellie has gone into her 2nd year at college so the routine and the way the college works isn't new to her. At the end of the last college year the plan was to take all of the students from two Level 1 classes and put them in one class doing the Level 2 course but of course things never go to plan and Ellie ended up in a class with a few people from last year, some school leavers and some older students. It is a right mix and a good mix. She gets on with everyone in her class and really likes it. 

On the first day back Ellie met a couple of new people. Another girl to join Ellie and the only other girl doing the course. Ellie was a bit wary of her at first as in her words "she looked like a bit of a mean girl" but it turns out she's lovely and Ellie took her under her wing showing her where the loo's and canteen were. The other new friend is a 60 year old man. He retired years ago after running a business and has now become bored so wanted a new challenge and electrical engineering is it. I laughed and said the bigger challenge is going back to education and putting up with a ton of teenagers. hehehe

Ellie is really happy with her tutor and teachers this year, as much as she loved the lady who taught them this year she prefers the male teachers. Personally I think they go easier on the girls and that's why she likes them so much but whatever they're doing they're getting good results from Ellie.

One thing Ellie hated last year was the English GCSE lessons, she had to resit them as she didn't pass them in school and didn't pass over the summer so she's doing the lessons again. She has a different teacher this time around, a smaller class and with people that she knows and gets on with so I think it could be 3rd time lucky.

The social side of college is going well, she is keeping away from the "friends" that she had last year which were not good for her and has a good bunch of people to hang out with now. There's a few who know some of what went on during the summer so they are really looking out for her making sure she is never alone.

The safeguarding staff have been amazing, keeping me informed about things, taking Ellie off to a little room for her own safety when things were going on in the vicinity of the college and being there offering Ellie someone to chat to if she needs it. I cannot thank them enough, they have been so fantastic.

A lot of the work that Ellie is doing on her course is the same as what she did last year but goes into more detail and in the practical lessons she has to figure things out for herself with less input from the teachers. She has found out that the end of year assessment is the same as last years but the students have to do everything themselves without any instructions. They have to make a board with an electrical circuit with plugs, switches, trunking and things like that. I have no idea what I am talking about, thankfully Ellie does.

I know Ellie is going to smash this year at college, she already seems more settled than she did last year and happier.

How are your kids getting on at school and college?

The September Reset!

September is the month where leaves start to change, pumpkin spice everything reappears and parents everywhere take a collective sigh of relief as they send their little ones back to school or bigger one's back to college. For many parents September is a chance to hit the reset button. I always compare September to January. It's a new start.

I love the routine that the new school year brings. We always start off with good intentions: going to bed and getting up early, we make a point of eating better and sometimes even eating breakfast, we are very organised and I love the predictability of the start of the new school year. The good intentions might not last more than a couple of months but it feels nice at the time.

The start of the school year is a natural point for setting new goals for yourself. I always seem to start new projects and hobbies at this time of year. Over the next month or so I am going to fully clear the garden of weeds and prepare it for winter. I am going to finally get around to doing the Lego that I got for Christmas, we've had a year of dramas and I have not got around to it yet and hopefully I am going to spend some more time in the kitchen and do some baking. I have a list of recipes that I want to try.

Our summer holidays was a stressful time, I am not saying the next few months are going to less stressful but they are going to be a little easier on my worrying mind. I am hoping in the time Ellie is at college I can practice some self care, get back into exercising and hopefully get back into a bit of a routine. It's been nice having her home for the summer but I am ready for some me time.

The start of the school year is like a blank canvas for family routines and dynamics too. I am already in the process of making a list of chores around the house and sharing them out. I am sick of having to do everything, especially when the girls are quite capable of things like washing their own clothes, changing their bedding and I am not the only one to use the bathroom, why should I be the one to clean it almost every day! I am hoping to get us all into a routine of eating together when we're all in and having Saturday evenings together watching TV. The good Saturday night TV shows should be back on soon, Strictly and The Voice UK.

So here’s to September: new routines, less chores for me and a new start for us all!

Do you have any big plans for when the kids are back at school or college?

Easing the transition from secondary school to college!

The transition from secondary school to college is a significant milestone in your child’s educational journey. It is a big leap that’s more than just a change in scenery. It seems that one minute you’re helping them with their primary school homework and now they’re on the verge of becoming full fledged young adults. It’s a big step for them and for us as parents too! My girls have both done college, my youngest is going into her 2nd year so I’ve had a front row seat to just how different college can be compared to secondary school. 

As a parent, you want to support your child through this change, helping them adjust to their new environment while encouraging independence and growth. Here are some practical tips to help you and your child navigate this exciting but sometimes daunting phase.

Embrace the New Learning Style!

Remember when your child first started secondary school, and everything felt so different from primary school? Well college is another big shift but this time it’s all about gaining independence. Gone are the days of a teacher walking them through everything step by step. Now it’s all about independence and self directed learning.

There's Less Hand-Holding: Gone are the days of constant reminders about homework and deadlines being sent to us parents. College is all about self management. I have only received about 2 emails in the last year about college and both were nothing to do with Ellie, just general one's about open days. For our teenagers it's a bit like being thrown into the deep end and having to swim on their own. Students need to stay on top of their assignments, manage their study time effectively and even seek out help if they’re struggling. That doesn't mean that you can't contact your child's college if you feel the need to. You can help your teen more if you know more about what is going on with their studies.

Free time: The learning environment is more flexible and so is the schedule. Ellie is only in college three days a week and those days are not full days as she is one of lucky one's who doesn't have to resit both her Maths and English GCSE's. This means your teen might have gaps between classes or free periods that they need to manage wisely. They can choose to study or hang out with friends. I have had to have words, several times with Ellie about how she spends her spare time. Encouraging her to study more and socialise less. 

Increased Responsibility: Teachers are there to guide and support but they’re not going to chase after students to make sure they’re doing their work. This is a great opportunity for our teens to develop responsibility and self discipline but it can also be a bit overwhelming if they’re not used to it. Help them set up a planner or use an app to keep track of deadlines and commitments. It’s a great way to teach them about organisation and time management without stepping in too much.

Offer Support, Not Solutions: It’s tempting to jump in and fix things when they’re struggling but it’s important to let them try to solve problems on their own. Offer advice and guidance but let them take the lead.

Tackling the Social Side!

The social aspect of college can be quite different from secondary school. The social side of things this can be a big deal for our teens. A new environment, with new people and sometimes a bit of anxiety about fitting in.

New Faces and Places: Your teen might find themselves in a new environment with students from different schools. It’s like starting fresh with a new social circle. This can be both exciting and nerve wracking. They might have to put themselves out there and make new connections which can be a big change from the familiar faces they were used to.

Encourage Social Exploration: Joining clubs or sports teams can help your child meet new people and develop friendships. These activities also provide a break from the extra work that college can bring.

More Freedom: With more freedom comes more opportunities for socialising but also more responsibility. They have to be mindful of the choices that they are making while they are out of your care. Sometimes they can make the wrong choices but don't be too hard on them, peer pressure has a lot to answer for, they will learn from their mistakes and you will too.

Stay Connected to Old Friends: While it’s important for them to branch out, keeping in touch with old friends can provide a sense of stability. Encourage them to make time for their secondary school mates, even if it’s just a quick catch up on social media.

Be Their Emotional Rock: If they’re feeling anxious about making new friends or fitting in, remind them that it’s completely normal. We’ve all been there! Sometimes all they need is to talk it out with you to feel a bit better about things.

Managing the Money Side of Things!

Ah, money one of life’s great lessons! College is often the first time teens have to manage their own finances, even if it’s just for lunch and travel.

Teach Budgeting Basics: Now’s the perfect time to sit down and have the money talk. Help them figure out a simple budget that covers the essentials lunch, bus fare and the occasional coffee. It’s a life skill they’ll thank you for later! Ellie hasn't been great at managing her money but is learning. Sometimes a drink from Starbucks is tempting but that doesn't leave much left over for food.

Discuss Part Time Work: If they’re thinking about getting a part time job talk about how they’ll balance work and study. It’s a great way to earn some extra cash and learn about responsibility but their studies should always come first.

Chat About Spending Wisely: Whether it’s resisting the urge to splurge on the latest gadget or learning to save up for something special now’s the time to instil good spending habits.

Encourage Well Being!

The transition to college can be stressful so supporting your child’s well being is essential.

Promote a Healthy Balance: Encourage your teen to find a balance between study, social activities and downtime. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and decent sleep are crucial for managing stress and maintaining overall well being.

Watch for Signs of Stress: Keep an eye out for signs of stress or burnout. If you notice changes in their behaviour or mood have a conversation to see if they need additional support. Sometimes, professional help or counselling can be beneficial and colleges have a great support network. You just have to ask!

From personal experience, I can tell you that the college journey isn’t always smooth sailing. There will be challenges with academic pressure, social dynamics or just the strain of change. Be prepared to offer support and guidance and sometimes tear your hair out a little but it will all be worth it in the end!

The first year of college, done!

This time last year Ellie had just left school and I was worrying about her starting college but here we are, at the end of this week she has completed her first year doing electrical engineering! I know for a fact I have worried a lot more than Ellie has, she has taken it all in her stride!

Ellie started college the day after we came back from our little holiday which was stressful to start with but it was also the day that Ellie would get the bus for the first time for herself. All summer I had tried to get her to say where we were going and pay but she was having none of it. Thankfully when she got her college bus pass she just had to scan it and get on without saying a word. On the first day she met up with some friends and that was it, she was away!

She settled into her class so well, obviously she paired up with the only other girl on her course and they have been an unstoppable force. The teachers have said they try their hardest as if they are trying to prove they are just as good as the boys. They don't have to try, they are as good as the boys!!

For the first few weeks of college Ellie hung around with people that she had known from school at break and lunch times but soon branched out a little and made friends with people in doing her course and others in the engineering department. She soon got herself a boyfriend which thankfully didn't last long. He was a bit controlling and the final straw came when he said to Ellie she couldn't hang out with her friends, she told him where to go.

Every day she comes home and says so and so said this, so and so said that and I can't keep up with who she is talking about as she seems to know so many people. For months I thought Alex was a boy but it turns out she's a girl. She thinks nothing of waking into town with her friends and having a look around the shops and popping into Wetherspoons for lunch. Some of her friends are 17 and 18 years old which I am wary about but they all seem like decent people.

The highlight of the course has been when she has had her practical lessons and she has been in the workshop doing the wiring and whatever else she does. Trunking, trays, conduits and many more words describing things that I don't understand. My dad does though, he has loved talking to Ellie about what she has been doing in college.

Ellie has cracked on with the written work and actually finds those lessons fun and interesting. In her course she doesn't have one final exam, she has assessments throughout the year and she has passed them all. There was one in the middle of the year which she had to resit but learned that she had to revise and that paid off with her last assessment when she got full marks!

Ellie has one more day at college and that's her done until September! She has already signed up to do the next year of Electrical Engineering. She has said that the teachers are hoping to put the two classes together with those doing their 2nd year so there will be no new starters holding them back. She is looking forward to another long summer of fun!

Planning a prom on a budget.

After finishing her GCSE's and leaving school Ellie went to her prom at school. I was dreading it, not because of the prom it's self, just the cost of it all. When you think of proms you think expensive but they really don't have to be, all in all we didn't really spend that much.

Prom night is a magical experience that many school leavers really look forward to but the costs that come with it can add up quickly leaving both students and parents stressed about the financial burden. The good news is that with careful planning and creativity you can have an unforgettable prom night without breaking the bank.

Start Early and Set a Clear Budget:

Begin your prom planning early to give yourself time to find the best deals. Set a realistic budget that includes all potential expenses, such as the outfit, hair and beauty, transport, any tickets and any extras.

The dress/suit/outfit:

Look for affordable dresses or suits online, at discount stores or even consider borrowing from friends or family. You can always rent an outfit from specialist shops but I really didn't want to do that in case it ended up ripped or stained. Potentially your teen might only wear the outfit once so don't go spending a small fortune!

The biggest expense for us was Ellie's dress. It cost around £20 from Shein which was a real bargain in comparison to her friends outfits. It wasn't the typical puffy, princess looking dress but it is what Ellie wanted.

Shop second hand by exploring charity shops or search online websites or apps for formal wear like Vinted or eBay. You might be surprised at the hidden gems you can find at a fraction of the cost.

Skip the expensive salon appointments and opt for DIY hair and makeup. There are numerous online tutorials and resources that can help you achieve a glamorous look without the hefty price tag. I did Ellie's hair, make up and nails and it cost hardly anything as we already had everything we needed. All Ellie bought was a set of false nails which cost about £1.50 and they looked so pretty.

Transport:

Getting to prom can be a massive expense with teenagers wanting to arrive in style. If you get your teen to share the cost or renting a limo or fancy car with some of their friends it can cut the cost dramatically. If you know someone who has a fancy car ask them for a lift. 

My dad was going to take Ellie in his vintage kit car but ended up having issues when it wouldn't start on the day! Eek! My brother stepped into help and Ellie arrived in the back of his Luton Van. Ellie actually got the biggest cheer of the evening arriving with her grand entrance going down on the moving platform thing at the back. She had the time of her life! 

Photos:

The only thing we couldn't save money on was the prom photos and to be honest I wished I hadn't bothered with them. Ellie is a shy girl so there was only 2 photos of her, one walking up the red carpet which I had taken myself anyway and another with a couple of her friends. If you have a confident child who loves being in front of the camera I imagine they would be well worth it but for us it wasn't.

Did you spend much for your teenagers proms?

This week my Word of the Week is: Results! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

This weeks word had to be results. Ellie picked her GCSE results up yesterday and they were a bit of a surprise.

We were up and ready to go at 9am but Ellie didn't want to be the first one there so we held off until nearly 10am and we timed it right as she saw a couple of her best friends there and got to open her results with them. She said she wasn't nervous but when she was opening the envelope she was shaking, bless her.

Ellie was expected to pass her English, it was 50/50 with maths and not expected to pass Science but things didn't work out like that. She got 3's in English and Maths which is an old D and not a pass but it turns out she was only 4 marks off  a pass in Maths. Hmmf. She got 4-3 in Science which was a pass and not expected, a 5 in photography which is a high C or low B and of course she passed engineering with flying colours. She aimed for 3 passes and got them, just not in the subjects that she had planned. It's fine though, her GCSE results don't affect her college course but she will have to resit Maths and English over the next year, she didn't want to but it's fine.

I came so close to crying when the English teacher came running over, she was gutted for Ellie as she knows that she has worked so hard. She said she couldn't be prouder of her and one of the teaching assistants which has been amazing had a little chat with Ellie too saying how fantastic she has been. 

Ellie is happy with her results and we are too. She has never been academic and a few years ago she was predicted to get 1's and 2's so anything better was amazing. She was never going to get 7, 8 and 9's and we were fine with that. She tried her hardest and has done us proud.

I am so glad the stress of the GCSE's are over now. Now we just had the stress of the girls birthday's and our holiday. I am not further forward in knowing what we're doing with the trains than I was this time last week when the rail strikes were announced. lol I've tried asking Trainline and they've been as much use as a chocolate teapot but to be fair I guess they don't know until the train companies confirm things which should be today. I hope so anyway, it is stressing me out not knowing what's happening.

It's another big day for us today. We're off to college for Ellie to enrol, show her GCSE results and most importantly get her timetable.

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one.