It's September and for the first time in about 20 years, I don't have any children going back to school or college and that feels very strange to say. August would normally be spent thinking about the new school year, buying everything the girls needed and trying to get everyone ready for another year of early mornings and school runs. I'd be looking at school uniforms, buying new shoes, sorting out stationery and always wondering how on earth the six-week summer holidays had gone by so quickly but this year, none of that has happened. My girls are adults now. They have their own lives, their own routines and their own plans. They don't need me to make sure they have everything ready for school because, well, they don't go to school any more.
I am finding it all a little strange and what has surprised me most is that I'm missing things I never thought I'd miss.
I miss buying school uniforms. For years, school uniform shopping was a massive chore! Every summer there would be a list of things the girls needed and off we'd go. There were shirts, trousers, skirts, jumpers, socks, PE kits and school shoes. I remember one year I thought I would get ahead of myself and buy the school shoes not long after they had finished school for the summer. Of course, September rolled around and Ellie had gone up a size, so I had to pay twice for school shoes. I probably could have returned the pair that didn't fit but I never thought of that. I even miss the stationery shopping when the girls would try and convince me that they needed the glittery or scented pens, fluffy notebooks or really expensive pencil sharpeners. Buying new stationery made September feel like a fresh start. Now I can walk through the stationery aisle without having a reason to pick anything up. I still of course look though, who doesn't love new stationery?
For years, making packed lunches was a big part of my morning routine. I'd be in the kitchen making sandwiches, putting fruit into lunchboxes, adding a drink and whatever else I thought they might eat that day. There were days when most of it came home again, which was always slightly annoying and then there were the days when they suddenly decided they didn't like something they'd been eating happily for months but I miss those little lunchboxes sitting on the kitchen side.
I spent years wishing I could stay in bed longer and now I can, I don't want to or have to get up to use the toilet and then I am awake for the day. I miss the busy school mornings when we were all rushing around trying not to be late getting out of the door, someone not wanting the breakfast I had made and even the arguments over lost shoes that were always right in front of them! At the time, I probably didn't appreciate those mornings as much as I should have. Now I miss the noise, the chatter and even the school run. There were days when I wasn't a fan of doing the walk to and from school, especially when the weather was awful or we were running late but looking back, it was also time together which I miss now.
For around 20 years, school was just part of our lives. The school calendar was also part of our family calendar and we used to plan everything around it. September meant a new school year, October was half-term, December meant Christmas holidays, then came February half-term, Easter holidays and then another week's break sometime before the summer. It just carried on year after year until suddenly it didn't. I think that's what makes this September feel so different. We can go anywhere whenever we want to within reason.
It's not all bad though there are some big positives to not having children at school any more. I don't have to set an alarm in the morning, I don't have to remember which days are PE days and have their kit ready and I don't have to panic because someone has suddenly told me at 8pm that they need something for school tomorrow. I can make plans without checking the school calendar and I can have a slower morning without someone shouting that they're going to be late. Then there's the money. No more new school shoes, uniforms, stationery, school trips and all those little things that add up to pay for.
We spend all those years working towards this as parents but I don't think anyone really tells you how strange it feels when they get here. Yes, I miss the school days but there are some lovely things about reaching this stage too. I have more freedom, more time for myself and two grown-up daughters who are becoming their own people.
