This week my Word of the Week is: Alone!! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

I have had a really quiet and slow week. I've been home alone most days. Well, Becky has been sleeping upstairs after night shifts but for the most part I have been alone. It's not a bad thing, I have enjoyed it. I am well on top of all the housework and the jobs that need doing. All in all, it was a good week and I am using the word alone, not in a negative way, so don't be worried.

I know some people hate being in the house on their own and always need company but I quite like it every now and then. After years of having the girls at home most of the time or school runs to do and someone always needing something, having a bit of peace can be quite lovely. I can potter about doing whatever I want without anyone interrupting me and if I want to sit down with a cup of tea and scroll on my phone for a while, there's no one there expecting anything from me.

Ellie was left home alone on Sunday. Stu and I hadn't planned to leave her at home while we went out for lunch. Becky was supposed to be there but she got called into work and we had only booked a table for two. Ellie is fine being by herself at home. She's 18, can feed herself and hardly moves from in front of her computer but it felt a little bit mean. I did call in the shop on the way home and bought her some treats as the mam guilt kicked in. I really don't know why I felt guilty. Ellie was absolutely fine and probably enjoyed the peace and quiet. Becky had a great time doing an extra shift at work. She doesn't usually do day shifts, it's usually just nights, so it made a nice change for her. She got to see residents in the care home, which are usually in bed when she is working.

On Thursday it was so strange being home totally by myself. Becky was at her "friends" house and Ellie went off to college to do her English GCSE exam and said she thinks she has done well. She said she wrote more than she ever has and feels confident. She still has paper two to do in a couple of weeks but this is the most positive she has ever felt about the English exam, so I am taking that as a good thing. I did have to bring the food shop in and put it all away myself but it was nice to go at my own pace instead of Ellie's.

It feels like the end of an era. Yesterday Ellie started her last ever school holidays. This time next month she will just be going into her last week in education. I know every parent says it but the years really do fly by. One minute you're helping them put their coat on for nursery and the next they're talking about full-time jobs and making their own way in life. It doesn't seem possible. I can still remember taking first day of school photos and now we're talking about the end of college. Where did all those years go? I am not going to dwell on that as I know I will have at least one blog post coming about her college years. I think I am going to make the most of being home alone over the next month because who knows when I will get it again. Yes, Ellie has a part-time job but she will still be home more.

Next week I am going to be far from alone. Like I said it's Ellie's last school holidays and we have a few things planned already. Stu has taken a couple of days off work too, it would have been three days but one of the days wasn't approved. He's pushing his luck now and he has put in to do a half day on the day he couldn't get off. He should find out about that on Tuesday. He didn't even realise he could do that until his friend did a half day so she could spend the morning baking. This woman is an amazing baker and loves doing it but doesn't have lots of people to give her treats to, so Stu keeps coming home with random things. This week it was cookies and flapjacks and they were so good!

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay to join in with her Word of the Week linky!

What I have loved this week! Week 21. #FridayFavourites

Happy Friday! I hope you’ve had a good week. Mine has been a good one but I don't have any big favourites to share. It has been one of those weeks when I just seem to have been plodding on with life quite happily but I am going to share the little things that I have been loving and of course linking up with Erika and Andrea.

Pizza!

We got takeaway pizza on Friday evening. It was the first time we've had it in a long time from the pizza shop, so of course it tasted amazing and the best thing about it was that there were leftovers for Saturday evening too. I think pizza always tastes better the next day. I got the Beef Chef's Special with cheese, tomato, beef, onions, sweetcorn, mushrooms and I added extra pineapple. It was so good!

GCSE Exams.

Well, just the one that my youngest has to resit. It's a rule that when you are in further education here in the UK, if you didn't pass your Maths and English GCSE at school, you resit them until you do. Ellie passed her Maths first try but English has been something she just hasn't been able to pass. There are two papers, paper two she is great at, where you read a couple of non-fiction texts and write about them. It's paper one where she struggles, the creative writing. As great as her imagination is, she struggles. You are given a prompt and have to just write but she said it wasn't too bad. This year the exam is with a different exam board and she said it was slightly easier. Fingers crossed she gets it this time. We will find out in August. It's the last chance she will get as she leaves education next month. Eek!

The rain!

Usually I complain about the rain and this week it has rained quite a bit but I am not complaining, the garden needed it. Monday was a day when Stu and I tried to get things done between the showers. The grass out the front and back needed cutting but only the front was cut as just as Stu had finished that the heavens opened. He rushed to get everything unplugged and inside and came in soaked through. We also spent the day debating whether to hang washing out on the line. Stu made a bold choice to try and hung everything out and within 10 minutes he was getting it back in as it had started raining again. The back garden is still needing to be cut but that could be a job for the weekend. 

Football (Again!)

Last week in my favourites I wrote about how the football season is coming to an end and now there is only one match to play in the Premier League and even though the winner has been decided (Arsenal) the teams at the bottom still have it all to play for to stay in the Premier League and not be relegated. The EFL Championship play-offs have been a big drama. One team was accused of spying on another and have now been kicked out of the play offs so now it's my two favourite teams playing each other for a place in the Premier League. So tomorrow it's Middlesbrough vs Hull and I think I want our local team Hull to win!

Time with Stu!

I love this stage in life. When the girls were little, Stu and I rarely got any time to go for meals out, have a lot of time home alone or just time together in general. On the odd occasion we did leave the girls with a babysitter, I would worry and we would always have to be back at a certain time. Now that the girls are older and are busy doing their own thing, Stu and I have more time together and I like it. On Sunday we had an afternoon out and a lovely meal which I mentioned in my Wednesday Hodgepodge post. It was nice not having to worry about being back at a certain time. The only thing we had to worry about was catching the bus, as the Sunday service is terrible here and there are two hours between buses. Eek!

What have you loved over the past week?

What I listened to in April!

At the start of the year, I started listening to audiobooks. I always wanted to be a reader but couldn't/wouldn't make the time, so audiobooks were a way around it. I could be busy doing something while still listening to a book. Anyway, I thought I would share what I have been listening too. All of my audiobooks come from my local library through the app BorrowBox. I know lots of what I listen to might be considered old but they are all new to me!

This is what I listened to in April:

Looking for JJ by Anne Cassidy!

Three children walked away from the cottages on the edge of town toward Berwick Waters. Later that day, only two of them came back. Alice Tully knows exactly what happened that spring day six years ago, though it's still hard for her to believe it. She'll never be able to forget, even though she's trying to lead a normal life. She has a job, friends and a boyfriend whom she adores. But Alice's past is dangerous, and violent sad and it's about to rip her new life apart.

I found Looking for JJ quite unsettling to listen to. It’s not exactly an easy or light listen but I did find it gripping. I needed to know what happened six years ago and what happened to Alice now. I had moments where I felt quite sympathetic and then I’d catch myself and feel a bit weird about it, like should I feel like that about a murder? It definitely made me question a lot, especially about people changing and whether the past should always define someone.

Kill Them with Kindness by Will Carver!

The threat of nuclear war is no longer scary. This is much worse. It’s invisible. It works quickly. And it’s coming. The scourge has already infected and killed half the population in China and it is heading towards the UK. There is no time to escape. The British government sees no way out other than to distribute ‘Dignity Pills’ to its citizens: One last night with family or loved ones before going to sleep forever together. Because the contagion will kill you and the horrifying news footage shows that it will be better to go quietly.

Dr Haruto Ikeda, a Japanese scientist working at a Chinese research facility, wants to save the world. He has discovered a way to mutate a virus. Instead of making people sick, instead of causing death, it’s going to make them… nice. Instead of attacking the lungs, it will work into the brain and increase the host’s ability to feel and show compassion. It will make people kind. Ikeda’s quest is thoughtful and noble, and it just might work. Maybe humanity can be saved. Maybe it doesn’t have to be the end. But kindness may also be the biggest killer of all.

I really wanted to get into Kill Them with Kindness but it just didn’t click for me. I gave it a fair go but I kept losing track of what was going on because it felt like it was constantly jumping about. In the end, I didn’t finish it. This is the first book I haven't been able to finish since I started listening to audiobooks.

Lucky Day by Beth Morrey!

Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. But not today. Today, the rules don’t apply. After a morning that starts with a terrible migraine, an accidentally strong concoction of painkillers, and a bump on the head, Clover Hendry is not quite herself. And as she walks out of work at 9.47am, for once Clover isn’t worrying about the consequences. For once, she’s going to live for herself, if only for a day. Full of a joyful recklessness, Clover Hendry is taking the day off. But will her new-found freedom uncover long-buried secrets?

I really enjoyed Lucky Day and as a people pleaser it appealed to me. It’s one of those books that just makes you feel good while you’re listening to it and I found myself properly smiling while listening. There were loads of laugh out loud moments too, which I didn’t expect but they really made it such an easy, enjoyable listen. I think I could do with a day life this where I say stuff it to all my responsibilities and do what I want to do.

Audition by Katie Kitamura!

Two people meet for lunch in a Manhattan restaurant. She’s an elegant and accomplished actress in rehearsals for an upcoming premiere. He’s attractive, troubling, and young young enough to be her son. Who is he to her, and who is she to him? In Audition, two competing narratives unspool, rewriting our understanding of the roles we play every day partner, parent, creator, muse and the truths every performance masks, especially from those who think they know us best.

I liked Audition by Katie Kitamura but I’ll be honest, I also came away a bit like I’m not sure I fully got all of that. It’s one of those books that feels really clever and I kept wondering if I was missing something important underneath it all. Like I was reading it slightly out of sync with what it was trying to do. There were parts I really enjoyed and got pulled into but then it would shift again and I’d be back to trying to work it all out in my head. Either way, I’m glad I listened to it even if it’s still sitting in my head a bit like a puzzle

The Black Dress by - Deborah Moggach!

Pru is on her own. But then, so are plenty of other people. And while the loneliness can be overwhelming, surely she'll find a party somewhere? Pru's husband has walked out, leaving her alone to contemplate her future. She's missing not so much him, but the life they once had - picnicking on the beach with small children, laughing together, nestling up like spoons in the cutlery drawer as they sleep. Now there's just a dip on one side of the bed and no-one to fill it.

In a daze, Pru goes off to a friend's funeral. Usual old hymns, words of praise and a eulogy but it doesn't sound like the friend Pru knew. And it isn't. She's gone to the wrong service. Everyone was very welcoming, it was oddly a laugh and more excitement than she's had for ages. So she buys a little black dress in a charity shop and thinks, now I'm all set, why not go to another? I mean, people don't want to make a scene at a funeral, do they? No one will challenge her and what harm can it do?

I was hooked on this after the first chapter wondering how things were going to unravel next. Just when I thought I had things figured out, it would shift and I’d be sat there thinking I didn't see that coming! There’s a nice mix of humour and sadness running through it and has a mischievous edge that made me keep listening just to see what happens next. There were so many twists and turns and I could have never have guessed the ending.

What have you been reading or listening to lately?

The Wednesday Hodgepodge #56

I hope you are all having a good week. It's Wednesday, which means it's time to join in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge with Joyce who blogs at From This Side of the Pond! Each week there are 6 questions, we answer and then link up. Simple!

1. What do you make more complicated than it needs to be?

I make pretty much everything more complicated than it needs to be by overthinking things. I can turn the smallest decision into a whole drama. Deciding what jobs to do first, replying to a message, planning a day out, even choosing what to watch on TV somehow becomes a major life decision. I overthink things, thinking of every possible outcome and I usually end up confusing myself even more. Half the time, the simple answers were the ones I thought of at the start but my brain likes to add extra steps just to keep life interesting.

2. What impresses you?

People who seem to have their life together all the time! You know the ones who's houses are always spotless, their meals look like something from a cookbook and they somehow manage to make family life look easy. They’re organised, never seem rushed, always remember appointments and manage to wear the cutest outfits without them seeming to try too hard. I know social media only shows the good bits and real life can’t possibly be that perfect all of the time but I am still impressed by people who manage to juggle everything while making it all look so easy. Then there's me over here walking into rooms and forgetting why, losing my phone while it’s in my hand and repeating myself to the girls about ten times a day before anyone listens.

3. On a scale of 1-10 how picky of an eater are you? (1=extremely and 10=not at all) If you had to eat a meal made entirely of one color what color would you choose?

I’d say I’m about a 9. I will eat just about anything and try most things at least once. There’s not much that I flat out refuse to eat apart from broccoli and green leafy vegetables but sometimes I will eat them if they are hidden well in a meal.

If I had to eat food made entirely of one colour, I’d pick beige. Beige food is something special. Chips, bread, pasta, roast potatoes, chicken nuggets, crisps, pastries, toast and cake! It might not be the healthiest choice but I would definitely not go hungry. Never mind one meal, I think I could last a week just eating beige food.

4. What does balance in life mean to you? Does your life currently feel 'balanced'?

Balance in life to me means having time for the things I have to do and the things I want to do. A balanced day for me is getting all the boring jobs done like the washing, cooking and tidying up and then still having time left to sit down in front of the TV and watching whatever show I'm watching, playing games on my laptop or enjoying a nice cup of tea.

I think my life feels pretty balanced at the moment. Of course, there are days when everything feels a bit too much or the to-do list never ends but at the moment I am in a good place. I think it helps that I am realising that I don't have to be productive every second of the day, some downtime is good!

5. If you could travel the world for a year what would be your first destination?

If I could travel the world for a year, my first stop would definitely be America and I don't think I would get much further as there is so much that I want to do and see over there. It’s one of those places I feel like I already know a bit from reading blogs, watching videos and following people online but I would love to see it in real life. I’d want to visit some of the places I’ve read about, walk the streets I’ve only seen in photos and I also like the idea of meeting some of my favourite bloggers along the way. Then there are places like Disney World and Land, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Park, Las Vegas, New York City and of course Washington D.C.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

I am writing this on Sunday afternoon after being out for lunch and what a good lunch it was! It was just Stu and I who went out and we decided to get the three courses. I had a prawn cocktail for starters, honey roast gammon and all the trimmings for my main and then Chocolate Cremeux for dessert. I had no idea what a chocolate cremeux was before Sunday, it's like a mousse but more denser. It was amazing and the butterscotch ice cream on the top was something else! We finished out afternoon out by having a few games of pool. It was just going to be one but I beat Stu on the first so it had to be best of three. He won. Hmmf.