Surviving social media as almost a middle-aged Mam!

You’d think, after spending over a decade faffing about online, I’d have cracked the whole social media thing by now. No, not even close! Half the time I’m just clicking things and hoping for the best while my girls are there swiping, posting, editing and filtering like they were born with ring lights attached to their tiny new born heads. I try a filter and end up looking like a cross between a cartoon koala and a woman who hasn’t slept since 1992. My girls can pop on a filter and look like supermodels. Eesh! Surviving social media isn’t just about figuring out how to press the right buttons, it’s also about the weirdness of being a parent in the digital age.

When I finally got the hang of Facebook, uploading photos without accidentally tagging the wrong people, my girls had already moved on. Instagram was their world, then Snapchat and then suddenly TikTok took over. By the time I’ve downloaded the latest big thing, they’ve already declared it cringe and have stopped using it! My 18 year old can spend three hours on TikTok, learn ten new dances, a recipe for pasta I’ve never heard of and a conspiracy theory about why pigeons aren’t real. Me, I’m still figuring out why my For You Page thinks I want to see endless videos about home decluttering when clearly my house proves otherwise. hahaha I have given up trying to catch up and keep up!

I’ve noticed there are two versions of me. The real life mam who wears PJ's lots, I nag about laundry and make sure the fridge isn't empty and then there is the social media mam posting cute pictures of family meals, looking weirdly happy in every selfie and pretending I don’t have a pile of washing behind me. The problem is my girls see straight through it. My 23 year old will say liar if I post a spotless kitchen shot because she knows I shoved three pans and a rogue spatula out of the way. I’ll take what I think is a lovely photo of my garden or my cuppa and Instagram acts like I’ve posted something really awful all while someone my girl's age posts a blurred picture of their shoes and gets 600 likes. I asked my girls why my posts flop and they said it’s because you post like a mam, not helpful!

Being a parent in the social media era comes with a whole new set of worries too. I’m not built for this level of stress. I didn’t grow up with people messaging me at all hours, location tags, strangers following you or disappearing photos. Half of my parenting now feels like detective work. Who’s that person commenting heart eyes? Why is your location on? Do you know that person? Why is your Instagram private but your TikTok isn’t? My girls say I’m paranoid but I do like to know who they are connecting with online. They try and switch it back on me about my safety where my blog is concerned but most people who read and comment here are other bloggers, are open about who they are and those who try to be Anonymous really aren't. lol

If you want a real adrenaline rush, don’t bother with skydiving. Just try posting a comment on your young adult's photo on social media! hahaha! If I say "So pretty!" it gets deleted within seconds, followed by a DM saying, "Don’t embarrass me." If I say "Omg you look amazing!!!" I’m trying too hard, the safe option is a single emoji. A thumbs up or a heart. Even then, there’s a 50/50 chance I’ll get told off for picking the wrong one!

The platforms can’t quite figure me out. I'm there for the family updates, recipes, the memes and some random shopping ads but TikTok thinks I’m a fitness enthusiast, a skincare addict, a wannabe gardener and someone who urgently needs a stairlift. My girls feeds are slick and perfectly curated. Mine looks like a jumble sale with the occasional inspirational quote thrown in.

The weirdest part of being a parent on social media is watching your worlds collide. One minute I’m chatting with friends that I have known for years about how quickly time flies. The next, I’m looking at my girl's posts and realising they have a hundred people liking their photos in less than an hour and apparently they know most of those people! It’s bizarre and all I can do is hope they remember my number one rule: Don’t post anything you wouldn’t want me, your Grandad or your future boss to see!

For all my moaning, social media has its upsides. It’s how I keep up with my kids lives without nagging them for updates. I get to see what they’re proud of, what they’re into and what they're laughing at. It also keeps me connected with friends, gives me ideas for meals when my brain’s gone blank and occasionally makes me laugh so hard I cry.

Surviving social media as an almost middle-aged parent isn’t about being perfect, trendy or up to date with every new app. It’s about finding your balance. My kids might laugh at me for my dodgy hashtags or my habit of oversharing pictures of my garden but that’s fine. I’ll keep posting, keep scrolling and keep embarrassing my children with the occasional over enthusiastic comment.

Do you manage to keep up with all the social media trends that your kids do?

My 18 favourite things about my daughter as she turns 18!

How is it even possible that my youngest daughter is 18 today? Eighteen! It feels like just yesterday I was holding her just as she had been born, feeding her solid food for the first time, holding her hand as she learned to walk, getting her dressed for her first day of school, watching her perform in school plays, sending her off by herself (walking with friends) to secondary school, applying for college and most recently accepting that she has a boyfriend. Somehow, those baby years feel like both a lifetime ago and just yesterday. She’s officially an adult now although she’ll always be my baby girl!!

Over the years, she’s made me laugh, cry and burst with pride more times than I can count. She’s got a fierce spirit, a kind heart and a wicked sense of humour that keeps us all on our toes. As she celebrates this big milestone, I wanted to take a moment to reflect. Not just on how far she’s come but on all the things I love most about who she is right now.

This is a bit of a different Friday Favourite post but I am still linking up with Erika and Andrea to share my 18 favourite things about my daughter Ellie as she turns 18!

1. Her strength!

She’s been through more than people realise and has handled it with courage and quiet resilience. Her heart surgery, problems with her eyes and feet, starting nursery school a week after her 3rd birthday and being the youngest in her year all the way through school and college, being deaf in one ear, other health problems, being bullied all through primary school, the Covid years which took over most of her time at secondary school, entering into a male dominated career (engingeering), struggles with friendships and so much more. She might not always feel strong but I see it in her every single day. She is a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for.

2. Her eye rolls

She’s got a signature eye roll full of sass, perfectly timed and sometimes hilarious. It drives me mad and makes me laugh at the same time. A true talent.

3. Her style!

She knows what she likes and wears it with confidence. Whether it’s a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms or something bold and unexpected, like a dress with questionable tights. She owns it and always looks effortlessly cool doing it. She loves chunky, goth looking boots and she has got the red and black one's for her birthday! They're surprisingly comfortable.

4. Her independence!

She’s not afraid to do things her way even if it’s not the expected way. All through her life we have joked and have said she's hit all her milestones in "Ellie time". She’s brave enough to make her own path and determined enough to stick to it. She has been determined about her engineering career even though it is make dominated. Last year there was a class of about 25 with only 3 girls.

5. Her sense of humour!

Dry, quick, sometimes sarcastic and sometimes daft. She makes me laugh constantly. Our shared in jokes are priceless and I’ll never get tired of her funny takes on life.

6. Her music taste!

Whether it’s something we both love or a band I’ve never heard of, I admire how she connects to music. She has multiple playlists on Spotify with all genres and music for all moods. She has always loved singing, she doesn't sing out loud as much as she used to but some times I will walk in a room when she is in full voice and I love it!

7. Her stubbornness!

Yes, it’s highly frustrating sometimes but it’s also a sign of her determination. She stands her ground, speaks her mind and doesn’t let people walk over her and I wouldn't want it any other way.

8. Her bond with her sister!

They wind each other up constantly but there’s a deep love and loyalty there that’s unshakeable. The in jokes, the teasing, the protectiveness is something special.

9. Her makeup skills!

Whether she’s glammed up for a night out or playing with bold colours just because, she’s got such talent. Half the time I ask her how she did her eyeliner so perfectly and her collection of make up is impressive, I am always borrowing it but don't tell her. hehehe

10. Her courage to speak up!

She isn't the most confident speaker until she needs to and doesn’t stay quiet, especially when something feels wrong. She’s not afraid to speak her mind even when it’s awkward or uncomfortable.

11. Her love of Sushi!

She has loved it since she knew what it was and I thought it would be something she would have grown out of but no, she is still obsessed and still stinks the house out when she is eating it!

12. Her dreams!

She’s got hopes and plans bubbling away even if she’s still figuring everything. I love hearing her talk about her future and knowing that whatever she chooses she’ll make it her own.

13. Her clumsiness!

She trips over flat surfaces, walks into doors and spills things constantly and we both laugh every time.

10. Her heart!

She cares deeply even if she doesn’t always show it with words. It’s in the small things she does for people in the way she listens, notices and just gives.

14. Her honesty

She doesn’t sugar coat things and I respect that. She’ll tell you if you’ve got something in your teeth, if you are wearing something that doesn't look right and if she thinks you’re being a bit over dramatic.

15. Her grumpy morning face!

She’s not a morning person and her "do not talk to me until I’ve eaten" energy is a whole personality trait. It never fails to amuse me.

16. Her way of making boring things fun!

A trip to the supermarket becomes a comedy show and folding laundry is somehow full of laughs. She’s got a way of turning mundane moments into special memorable moments.

17. The way she holds on to memories!

She remembers moments that I’ve forgotten things I said, trips we took, random little rituals from when she was small. Her sentimentality makes me so happy.

18. Her growing confidence!

Watching her step into herself slowly but surely has been beautiful. Each year she’s become more certain of who she is and what she wants and it’s been a joy to watch!

I could write far more than eighteen things I love about Ellie but I had to stop somewhere or we’d be here all day and I’d end up crying on my keyboard. For today, on this milestone birthday these are the ones that stood out!

Watching my youngest grow up one job application at a time!

Job hunting in 2025 is not for the faint hearted and for teenagers it’s an entire minefield of baffling terminology, wildly complicated portals and multiple choice questions that feel like they were written by a robot having a breakdown! Stu has been looking for a new job as he hates the one he is currently in with unrealistic sales targets and long hours but he's not the only one job hunting, my youngest is too!

Ellie has been applying for jobs. She’s venturing into the grown up world of interviews, cover letters lots and lots of emails back saying thank you for applying but you haven't been successful this time. I imagined this would be a sweet little milestone. I pictured us sitting at the dining room table, me gently helping her create a CV, going through job applications, it being a bonding experience and what I got was her flinging a cushion across the room and lots of sighing and eye rolling. lol

Her CV started as a blank Word document and a lot of sighing. We argued about what font to use, I recommended Arial or Calibri, she wanted something fun and cool looking. I said we should use more traditional language instead of saying Hi! I’m looking for a job and I’m quite nice, please hire me for her personal statement. We went with things like she has good time management, great at working in a team and has a good level of communication. We listed her GCSEs even though she grumbled that no one actually cares if she got a 5 in photography. I assured her that they do and if they don’t, we’re putting it on anyway! It turns out when you’re seventeen and have spent the last few years being told not to exaggerate or brag suddenly having to sell yourself causes a bit of a brain meltdown.

Work experience? Well, that got creative. She became a teenager in at the start of Covid so didn't have much chance to gain work experience. We went with that she has worked at my dad's business. She has but it was more fun than working. She assisted with various maintenance tasks, including interior and exterior painting, carried out regular garden upkeep such as lawn mowing and basic landscaping and provided refreshments to support team wellbeing. (making cups of tea. lol)

Once the CV was perfect we moved onto cover letters. She drafted her first one like she was writing a note to her friends which is not quite what the HR manager at the Co-op is looking for. (She hasn't applied to the Co-Op by the way) After many rewrites and at least three near breakdowns from her and me we settled on a version that struck the right balance between confident and not unhinged.

After almost three hours crafting her CV and cover letters I naively thought the application process was basically done. Nope, not even close because after uploading the CV the same CV that already contains her education and work history the application forms want all the information again! Ugh! Why even bother with a CV! There were so many dropdown menus and none of them made sense. An application form wanted to know if she was Miss, Mrs, Ms, Dr, or Reverend. Why do they even need to know? They could just be being sexist she said and I thought that was fair enough. The title options are unnecessarily complicated, especially when you’re 17 and the most official thing you’ve ever filled in is a Subway loyalty card. Why does it matter what she calls herself? She went with Ms in case you were wondering. Then came the relationship status section. Why did it matter, she eventually settled on single and took offence to that as she isn't single, she is in a relationship.

The skills section wanted her to tick boxes. Customer service? Yes, if you count helping a confused find a shop he wanted. Good Communication? Sure she can argue in group chats like a pro and teamwork, she didn’t even hesitate. She can play in a Fortnite squad like a professional gamer all while playing in a team! Then came the killer question are you willing to relocate for this role? The job was a bus ride away. lol I don't think relocation is needed.

The diversity monitoring section was interesting. What do I put for ethnicity? Am I White British or am I legally allowed to pick 'prefer not to say' or is that suspicious and in the disability section she forgot that she is partly deaf which was important as in one job she applied for the people are known for wearing headsets when on the shop floor which would be hard for Ellie being deaf in one ear. There was the work preferences section which was a minefield of boxes about full time/part time, weekends, bank holidays, shifts, evenings, mornings and nights. She ticked them all and I convinced her that they wouldn't throw her application out if she doesn't pick everything. She went mostly with evenings and weekends.

We’ve now filled in approximately 872 forms, invented three new words for enthusiastic and answered enough questions about hypothetical workplace scenarios to qualify for a psychology degree. Ellie refreshes her email no fewer than 17 times an hour just to see if she's heard anything back. We’ve celebrated every “Thank you for your application” message and don’t even mention the rejection emails they get dramatically read aloud like tragic break up letters from someone she barely knew.

Each application has got a little easier, a little quicker and a lot less ragey. She’s putting herself out there. She’s learning the weird world of job hunting and even if she doesn't land a job until the 1000th application she’s already halfway to being more employable than most of us were at her age.

As of writing this she has had a job interview for a volunteering role and another one for paid work and we are still waiting to hear back about the paid role.

When did you last apply for a job? Did you find it stressful filling in all of the forms?

What Summer looks like now the kids are older!

Summer now feels so different than it did just a few years ago when my girls were little. It’s not the same whirlwind of packed days, endless outdoor games and the constant chorus of Mam, I’m bored!. Now with the girls aged 22 and 17 summer has shifted into something quieter, slower but somehow more fun and memorable!

Don’t get me wrong it’s not quiet in the way you might imagine. There’s still plenty of noise and laughter bouncing around the house but it’s a different kind of noise. Instead of the boisterous playdates and sticky fingers it’s music spilling from bedrooms, conversations with friends on the phone and shouting at screens when they are playing online games.

Both girls have their own lives now. Becky has been working full time for quite a few years. She works night shifts, has a partner and a social life that keeps her busy. She’s not at home every day like she was in her teens but when she is I really enjoy the time with her even if we are not really up to much. Like the day I wrote this, we had a lazy morning. I pottered around the house tidying up and doing some washing, we had lunch together, made a delicious iced coffee each and caught on Hollyoaks! Ellie is still in college although she's on her summer break now. She has her own friendships, her first serious relationship and she’s starting to create her own summer traditions too. It’s brilliant watching them both in this stage so independent, yet still part of our family!

Mornings in summer are no longer a rush to get everyone dressed, packed and out the door for a day at the park or play date. Instead there’s a gentler pace. I often find myself making a drink and enjoying it in peace looking out over the garden. Sometimes they’re off to meet friends or my Becky is making her way to bed just as I am starting my day. The house feels different but not in a bad way.

The afternoons are when the magic really happens. Sometimes, it’s a solo kind of magic. I’ll find a quiet hour to blog and other times we're together doing or own thing or we’ll all decide to watch a film together, have a walk out to my dad's or even venture into town for a look around the shops. It’s no longer about squeezing every minute out of the day with packed activities it’s about sharing those moments that just happen naturally.

What I love most is how those moments often surprise me. Becky sometimes invites me to go out somewhere with her partner or my youngest who invited me to the cinema to tag along with her and her boyfriend. I hesitated for a second it felt like stepping into their world rather than mine but then I said yes. We had a great time. Those little invitations make me feel connected in a way I didn’t quite expect. It’s lovely to be included even if their lives are their own now.

Evenings have become my favourite part of summer especially when the day cools down and the house fills with the smells of tea cooking and Stu gets in from work. That hour on an evening makes me feel happy. There’s laughter, teasing and conversation. 

Watching my girls grow into such thoughtful, independent young women who still want to spend time with me is one of the greatest joys of my life. There’s a pride in seeing how they’ve developed their own interests, their own social lives but also comfort in knowing that no matter how busy or far flung their lives get this family bond remains a place they come back to.

Summer now is different. It’s less hectic but still so full. It has changed but for the better.

How is your summer looking now?

The 2nd Year of college is done!

Ellie, my youngest has now been mostly finished college for a couple of weeks apart from going in to finish a couple of things off. It has been quite the year for her, especially after things which happened last summer which I am not going to talk about. She hasn't finished college for good, she is just on her summer break and will be returning in September which reminds me I have have forms to fill in.

When September came around I had been on the phone to the safeguarding staff at college least once a week for the whole of the summer. Ellie hadn't done anything wrong, I was in discussions about how to keep her safe. They were absolutely amazing!!! They went above and beyond to keep her safe in college and by Christmas she was on first name terms with the security guards, reception staff and wellbeing support! 

For the first 3 months or so of Ellie being at college I was taking and picking her up. They could keep her safe in college but the in-between bit was a bit trickier as the bus stop is a little walk away from college. Getting the bus was a nightmare, I hated it! It took me about an hour and a half hour each way. Getting to college on a morning is simple, it's one bus but then I have to come home which involves a 15 minute walk, a bus, then another bus and another 15 minute walk. I had the same journey to do on an afternoon to pick her up, 2 buses there but thankfully it's just one bus home again. Thank goodness for the direct college bus first thing on a morning and last thing on an afternoon. I kept my distance, she sat with her friends and I sat on any empty seat! I hated it! College kids are so loud. lol

She settled in well to the college year and there was an extra girl in her class so there were 3 girls and about 18 boys. Engineering is such a male dominated subject so it was nice to hear that more girls are getting into it.

In January there was a little blip, Ellie skipped a few lessons but because I was in touch with the college so much I found out before it became a problem and may have marched Ellie into college to apologise to a teacher for missing classes. I gave them permission to ring me whenever she skipped lesson again and she never did! I did get one phone call though. Ellie had an assessment and thought it was easier to go to the classroom where it was than to check into the engineering department first. Her tutor thought she was missing, rang me but Ellie was just where she was supposed to be without bothering with the middle bit. Oops.

This year Ellie was doing the Level 2 electrical engineering course and for the first half of the year they were just going over what she had learned in the previous year. She didn't find it much harder than Level 1, there was just more detail in it. She has worked hard, learned lots and has passed everything that she needed to complete the course!

Ellie still refuses to go to the canteen at lunchtime, I can imagine how busy it gets so if she doesn't get to go at morning break she will wait until the afternoon. She has took advantage of the free breakfasts when the bus has got there early and keeps telling me about the amazing hash browns!

Ellie did take advantage of the wellbeing services that they offer at college. Counselling services, somewhere to go just to take a break from the hustle and bustle of college life and again all the staff were amazing. Her engineering wellbeing person has been having fortnightly meetings with her just to check in and make sure everything is going as it should. I really can't thank the support staff enough.

The only gripe both Ellie and I have had with college is they email her when we have both told them to email me. Ellie is still under 18 so it is allowed and supposed to happen but they insist on sending important emails to Ellie's inbox and of course she doesn't check her emails. Things about finance, bus passes and when exams are. 

Now Ellie has the whole of summer to enjoy, her last proper one. This time next year she will be off into the real world. Eek!

How has your kids year at school or college gone?

Parenting Teenagers: Things I thought I’d never say out loud but did!

Before I became a parent, I knew I’d say some strange things. I’d heard other mums shout "Get that out of your nose!" or "The cat does not want to wear a nappy!" and I assumed that phase would end with toddlerhood but how naive I was!

Parenting teenagers introduces you to a whole new world of bizarre sentences, things that leave your mouth before your brain can even catch up and often the moment you say them, you pause, blink and think did I really just say that out loud?

Here are some of my favourites. All real. All said out loud.

"Snapchat is not an excuse for being late."

“Oh, sorry, I had to finish my Snap streak.” Imagine explaining that your boss at work when you are late, apparently for my youngest it is a valid excuse for being late!

"Yes, I am listening. I’m just trying to Google what you just said."

The teen slang changes weekly. I once thought rizz was a new fizzy drink. It’s not and “drip” is apparently a compliment now.

"We do not microwave socks."

Yes, it happened!! Cold feet plus laziness apparently equals a singed pair of fluffy socks and a microwave that smelled of burnt polyester for a while. Lovely!

"No, you cannot revise while watching Netflix."

Multitasking has its place but revising for exams while half watching 22 seasons of Grey's Anatomy doesn’t exactly scream academic success.

"You cannot put your phone in the fridge just because it's ‘overheating."

Thinking about it now it was quite a clever solution and I did almost let her but thought better of it.

"How many chargers do you need? You’ve got more cables than NASA."

My girls buy them when they are out and about then come home and lose them, once in a while they'll tidy their bedrooms and find all the wires which ends with a huge pile in the cupboard which all end up getting tangled.

"You cannot live on cereal bars and iced coffee."

They have both tried it and one ended up being sick on the bus after a breakfast of a cereal bar and iced coffee.

"If it smells like feet, clean it or bin it."

Some of the things in my girls bedrooms stink! I refuse to deal with it, they are old enough to sort it themselves.

"No, you cannot wear pyjama bottoms to the shop"

I don't mind too much in the winter when it's dark out but not in the middle of the day when anyone could see. The shame!

"You don’t need a £40 pair of jeans with holes in them. That’s not fashion!"

If I had holes in my clothes I would be made to sew the holes up or throw the item out. Now it's t-shirts, hoodies and of course the ripped jeans!

"No, I’m not texting you from the next room. Come here."

My girls even text each other when they are in the same room, there is no hope.

"Please don’t call your sister/dad/grandad bruv."

I don’t care if everyone else does it. They are not your bruv!

"Yes, you still have to brush your hair, even if you’re not leaving the house."

My girls get extra lazy when we have a day at home.

"Socks with sliders, really?"

When I was younger socks were not to be seen but now my girls wear them with everything including sliders which I just can't get my head around.

Parenting teenagers is chaotic, unpredictable and wildly entertaining and I wouldn't change them for anything even when I do find myself saying the most ridiculous things!

What gems have you said to your little darlings lately?

Mental Health Awareness Week: Community and parenting older kids!

It is Mental Health Awareness Week and this year, the 2025 theme is Community! It is a word that feels more important than ever. As a parent of teenage girls I’ve came to realise just how much community matters when it comes to supporting not only their mental health but mine too. We all need a little help sometimes!

Raising teenagers and being there for young adults is no small task! There is so much pressure on them now with social media, academic pressure, body image struggles and friendship dramas. Then throw in anxiety, mood swings, occasional slamming of doors and the eternal "I’m fine" when you know full well they’re not. It can feel overwhelming but we're not in it alone and that’s where community comes in!

When we think of the word community we often imagine neighbours, schools or local groups and it can be those things but community is also about connection, the people you lean on, the ones who understand, the ones who remind you you’re not failing when everything feels like a mess.

As a parent over the years my community has included:

Other mums at the school gate who’ve whispered, "Mine’s the same. It’s not just you." It was such a reassurance to know I wasn't in this parenting lark alone.

Online groups on blogs where parents share their worries, wins and occasional cries in the car. It is good to connect with real people who are going through the same things.

Teachers, youth workers and counsellors who’ve taken the time to see my girls for who they are!

And, surprisingly even the girls themselves when they open up and remind me just how strong, insightful and emotionally intelligent this generation can be.

Teens and young adults today are navigating a minefield of emotional challenges. Social media has given them access to constant comparison, unrealistic beauty standards and the pressure to be on it all the time. It has caused no end of drama, worry and stress for my family over the years, sometimes I do wish I could just take it away from them. In the past I have but they are at an age now where they are more sensible in how they use it and realise that not everything they read and see online is true. Then you add in the stress of school, college friendships, hormones and a world that feels increasingly uncertain, it’s really no wonder they’re struggling!

As a mum, I’ve had late night chats that started with “I’m just tired” and turned into deep heart to hearts where everything has came pouring out. I’ve watched my girls spiral from small worries into big anxieties and I’ve felt helpless, wanting to take away their pain but not always knowing how. That’s why community is so important because when our kids feel supported, connected and safe they cope better and when we feel supported, we’re able to help them more!

Community starts in the home. We’re their first safe space for out teenagers and young adults even if they sometimes act like we’re the last people they want to talk to. Here are a few things we try in my home:

Open conversations! Not just asking how was your day but what’s been on your mind lately or has anything felt tricky today? Anything can be talked about here!

We have a no judgement zone! I remind them and myself that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, confused or just “meh. All those feelings that we feel are valid!

Celebrate the small wins! Getting out of bed on a tough day, speaking up in class, sending a tricky message to a friend all of those things matter and if they bring a positive result they are a win!

Encourage rest! Not every hour needs to be productive, we all need some down time!

Model self care! I try to show them what taking care of myself looks like whether that’s saying no, taking a walk or doing something just because it makes me happy!

While we’re busy trying to be our teenagers and young adults rocks, we often forget that we need support too. Parenting teens can be lonely at times especially when you don't have that connection with other mums at the school gates. It was so much easier when they were little and I would speak to other mums, now I don't know the parents of my daughters friends as I am not at the school gates. 

Mental Health Awareness Week is a good excuse to reach out and reconnect. Maybe it’s checking in with another parent you haven’t heard from in a while, maybe it’s attending a workshop or finding a podcast or book that speaks to you, about what you are experiencing! Connecting with other parents even if it’s just in a online group can be a lifeline.

The more we talk about parenting and mental health the less alone we all feel. This week is a reminder that we don’t have to do this parenting thing in isolation. We’re allowed to ask for help, we’re allowed to not have all the answers and we’re allowed to admit when we’re struggling. Our teenagers and young adults are watching us more closely than we realise. When they see us leaning on others, building supportive friendships, talking honestly about mental health it gives them permission to do the same.

If you’re struggling, please know you’re not alone. There’s support available and it’s okay to ask for it. Whether it’s a GP, a therapist, a local support group or a charity helpline help is out there and it can get better!

Some useful links:

YoungMinds offers Mental health advice, guides, blogs and a find help tool. Great for both young people and parents.

The Mix offers articles, discussion boards, live chat, and a crisis messenger for under-25s.

Kooth offers free, anonymous online counselling and support. Available through most UK postcodes.

Papyrus for suicide prevention in young people, it offers support for young people struggling with thoughts of suicide and for parents/carers.

Deaf Awareness Week 2025!

Yesterday was the start of Deaf Awareness Week and it is an important time to reflect on the experiences of those who are deaf or hard of hearing and to raise awareness of the challenges that they face daily.

My youngest Ellie was born with some hearing loss in her right ear, it was just one of those things that happen. The doctors diagnosed her with Auditory Neuropathy which is a hearing disorder where the ear detects sound normally, but there's a problem transmitting it to the brain. The consultant explained it to us saying everything works but there is just a loose connection somewhere. When Ellie had her heart surgery it caused some tiny bleeds on her brain and she lost the last 5% of hearing that she had in that ear.

As challenging as Ellie's life is she found the most difficult time during the pandemic when everyone was wearing masks. It was only then that both her and me realised how much she relies on lip reading. It was a struggle.

Ellie doesn't let her deafness define her, it is a part of her life and she just gets on with it. She’s never let her hearing loss stop her from doing the things she loves or from achieving the same goals as her peers but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Ellie often fights against the help that she is offered. Like when she was in secondary school due to take her GCSE exams she was offered extra time in the exams and didn't want it but a lovely teacher convinced her that she might as well take that time and it really did help her out. She was given a hearing aid a few years ago and just didn't get on with them so she stopped wearing them and returned them. I think she was deaf in one ear for so long hearing more just messed with her brain and it was just too much for her to process.

Sometimes the simplest things can be a struggle for Ellie. For example, in a crowded room with voices all around it’s difficult for her to pick up on what someone is saying or where a sound is coming from. When people speak too quickly or don’t face her directly she may miss key parts of the conversation. Group settings can be overwhelming and it can be frustrating for her when she has to keep asking people to repeat themselves.

Even activities that seem straightforward like hearing an alarm clock, hearing me shout her from another room or even using wireless headphones pose challenges, she only ever uses one. hehehe. She really doesn't do well hearing people on the phone and has to have it on speakerphone which makes it awkward if she is at college or out and about. Despite these struggles she keeps moving forward, learning ways to adapt and finding solutions to make things easier for herself.

It’s important to be aware that these challenges aren’t always visible to others. Ellie might look like she’s simply daydreaming but in reality, she’s working hard to tune in to what’s happening around her and that’s where awareness and understanding from those around her can make all the difference.

How to help when interacting with deaf or hard of hearing people!

I want to share a few tips on how we can all make it easier for people who are deaf or hard of hearing to engage in conversations, navigate daily life and feel included.

Face them directly when speaking!

It may seem like a small thing but for those who are deaf or hard of hearing being able to see someone's lips and facial expressions can make a huge difference. When speaking to someone with a hearing loss, face them directly and avoid speaking while turned away or with your hand over your mouth. This simple gesture helps them understand what’s being said, even if they can't hear every word.

Keep the noise levels in mind!

Background noise can make it extremely difficult for someone who is hard of hearing to understand what’s going on. Whether you're in a busy restaurant, at a party or in a crowded public space be mindful of your surroundings. Try to find a quieter place to talk or reduce unnecessary noise when possible. It can go a long way in making someone feel heard.

Be patient and willing to repeat yourself!

It’s easy to get frustrated when someone asks you to repeat something, but for someone who is hard of hearing it’s often necessary. When they ask you to repeat yourself, do so with patience and kindness. If needed, rephrase what you said in a clearer way, sometimes hearing the message in a different form can help them understand better.

Use visual aids when possible!

There are many ways to communicate without relying solely on spoken words. If you’re having difficulty getting your point across, try writing a note, text messages or even gestures. Visual aids can be incredibly helpful, especially when there’s a language barrier. Be open to using whatever works best for the situation.

Be respectful and understanding!

The most important thing is to approach every interaction with respect and understanding. People with hearing loss face unique challenges that require patience and empathy. Just because someone is deaf or hard of hearing doesn’t mean they aren’t fully capable of engaging in conversations or enjoying the same experiences as others. It just may require a little extra effort.

Do you know anyone who is deaf or hard of hearing?

How to create the ultimate family games night with older kids!

Planning family time when your kids are teenagers or young adults is a whole different ball game. Gone are the days of jelly and ice cream and a quick round of Snakes & Ladders before bedtime. These days, your kids might be taller than you, have better social lives and let’s face it might be a little too cool to sit around the table playing Happy Families.

Fear not! It is possible to create a family games night that doesn’t involve eye rolls, mysterious disappearances to their rooms or them suddenly remembering an urgent FaceTime with their mates. In fact, with a little planning and maybe a bribe or two you can have everyone laughing, competing and actually wanting to spend time together. Yes, even your moody 17 year old and your 22 year old who now drinks proper coffee. lol

Let them choose the games!

The fastest way to ruin the evening is insisting on playing a game you loved in 1998 that now takes four hours and has 96 complicated rules. Instead, hand over the reins and let them suggest some games. They’re way more likely to join in if they feel like they’ve had a say.

Teenagers often love fast paced or funny games like Cards Against Humanity, you can get a Family Edition, Dobble,  Exploding Kittens, 5 Second Rule, What Do You Meme? or UNO Flip!! Just remember they might say they’re not fussed but the minute they start winning, it’s game on!

Snacks are important!

If you want to lure them in, feed them! No one can resist a good snack table and your teens/young adults will show up purely for the food even if they pretend it’s a coincidence. Think nachos, loaded fries, a pizza or two, pick and mix sweets or even a themed picky platter if you're feeling fancy.

Make it a tech-tolerant zone!

Hear me out. Instead of banning phones completely (which is bound to lead to sneaky scrolling under the table), why not include them? Lots of fun games are app based and easy to join in on. And if someone’s taking photos or videos of the chaos? All the better. You can create a little tradition of documenting your game nights.

Add a bit of friendly competition!

Teenagers and young adults love a bit of banter. So make it competitive. Add a leader board, create silly trophies, or even promise a prize like they get to choose the takeaway next time or skip the washing up for a week. Little stakes equals big motivation.

Keep it relaxed!

The aim is to make this feel like something fun, not an obligation. Keep the schedule light, maybe just a couple of games, let them lounge in hoodies or PJ bottoms and don’t force anything. If it ends early with everyone chatting on the sofa or arguing about what film to watch next that still counts as a win!

Make it a regular thing but not too regular!

Don’t push for weekly if everyone’s got a million things going on. A monthly games night or just whenever everyone’s home, is enough to keep it special. Make it something to actually look forward to. They might not admit it, but deep down, they’ll love it.

Do you have family games nights with older kids?

This week my Word of the Week is: Friends!! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

Friends are such an important part of life and I know I would be lost without mine, those online and in real life. My girls have a good group of friends although sometimes it's hard to keep up with everything that's going on within the friendship groups, it makes me feel so old. lol

After some things that went on last year it has taken Ellie a lot of time to almost get back to the person that she was. She has had to learn to trust people again, make new friends and gain the confidence to go out and do what normal teenagers do. Over the last few of months there have been baby steps but over the past week or so there has been no stopping her!

I am finding it hard keeping track of what she is up to as she seems to have something on every day! It helps that it is the Easter holidays and she can make plans but sometimes I think to myself just have a day off from being busy. lol

Ellie went to the cinema to see The Minecraft Movie over the weekend with her friend and loved it. The spent an obscene amount of money on drinks and snacks in the cinema and has learned a lesson from that. Cinema pick and mix is overrated and over priced. Her boyfriend came over and they spent time gaming on her computer. They play an online game together and he helped her sort it out and learn how to play properly. Ellie had her nails done, she loves long nails but they don't go well with the Engineering course that she is studying at college, especially in practical lessons so with another 2 weeks off she thought why not! Another day she met up with other friends in town, they had a mooch around the shops and she has also spent time at her boyfriends house. The only day she spent at home I made her help with some jobs around the house and outside in the garden which she wasn't too happy about but she knows if she wants to carry on spending money it has to come from somewhere. I know I have lots of plants growing in the garden but a money tree is not one of them. Next week she's meeting up with friends to go swimming, a meal out, a shopping trip (just window shopping) and will probably spend some time with her boyfriend too.

I love to see Ellie so happy and so care free, don't get me wrong there are still times when she feels anxious or feels like she needs to just get home to her safe space but with the help of friends she is getting there and has came on leaps and bounds. One of her friends knows that I worry and said she would get the bus here to pick Ellie up just so I wouldn't worry as much. Bless her and the new boyfriend wanted to meet Stu and I too just to show us that he is good for Ellie. So far so good. I like how Ellie is surrounding herself with good people who care and understand her.

It feels so strange to have the house all to myself, especially during the school holidays! Usually Ellie is home or Becky is sleeping for work but as I am writing this they are both out with friends living the life that young people should be living, having fun and not worrying about the big things. I feel quite lost without the girls home but it does mean that I can watch what I want on the TV without any complaints.

I feel like the only one who hasn't done anything with friends this week unless you count the cards and gifts that I have sent people. It's a friends birthday next week so a bunch of flowers are on the way to them, I am hoping to catch up with them in person next week for a coffee and a gossip and a good friend is moving house so I sent a little something to them.

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay for her Word of the Week linky!

Common misconceptions about teenagers you should stop believing!

 Teenagers often get a bad rap. From wild behaviour to rebellious attitudes it seems like the media and society have a love hate relationship with this stage of life but many of these stereotypes and misconceptions are unfair and misleading. I love my girls to bits and was dreading them being teenagers but really, it's not all bad! Don't get me wrong they do have their moments but it’s time to bust some myths about teenagers!

Teenagers Are Always Rebellious

One of the biggest myths about teenagers is that they are always defiant and rebellious. While it’s true that adolescence is a time for self discovery and pushing boundaries not all teens go through rebellious phases. My girls have pushed boundaries but I wouldn't say they have been rebellious. Most teenagers are responsible, respectful and are hardworking. It’s unfair to label every teen as a rule breaker just because they are navigating a complex stage of life. My youngest is a fine example of this, she doesn't break any rules, she just bends them a little to suit her. I swear, she tests me! I don't know whether to be angry at her or admire her genius!

Teenagers Are Lazy and Don't Work Hard

It’s easy to assume that teens don’t have the same work ethic as adults. However many teenagers are balancing schoolwork, part time jobs, extracurricular activities, a social life and family responsibilities. They have a lot to deal with! The pressure at school and college is intense and many teens rise to the occasion. Their schedules may look very different from an adult's but that doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard. Becky started working 12 hour night shifts at a care home while she was still a teenager and at college. She was far from lazy.

All Teenagers Are Into Social Media All the Time

While it’s true that social media plays a big role in the lives of many teenagers, not every teen is glued to their phone 24/7. Becky is one for social media and always has been but Ellie can take or leave it. She does her streaks on Snapchat on a morning but for the rest of the day when she is home she hardly bothers with online stuff. Most teenagers use social media wisely using it to stay connected with friends, explore hobbies or stay informed. The obsession with social media is often exaggerated.

Teenagers Are Always Moody

It’s easy to write off teenagers as hormonal, moody individuals, but not all teens display dramatic mood swings. Yes, that part of life can be an emotional rollercoaster but many teenagers are level headed. Just like adults, teens experience a range of emotions and some may be better at managing them than others. 

Teenagers Don't Care About Their Futures

A common misconception is that teens are only focused on the present and don’t think about the future but in reality many teenagers are already planning for their futures whether it's through college, exploring careers or personal development. Teens care deeply about their goals, aspirations and dreams they may just express them differently than adults do. Becky has been saving for a house since she was in her teen years and Ellie is still a teen and has had her career planned for years!

Teenagers Don’t Listen to Adults

Another common myth is that teenagers don’t care about the opinions of adults. While it’s true that some teens may appear dismissive of advice most are simply seeking independence. I always say that my girls don't listen to me but they do. They simply choose not to take my advice at that present time. When time has passed they always come back to me and say that I told them that or something weeks ago and was right. 

Teenagers Have A Problem With Authority

It’s often assumed that teenagers are automatically at odds with authority figures, including teachers, parents and the police. In truth many teens have positive, respectful relationships with authority figures. They are just more likely to push back if they feel misunderstood or if their independence is threatened. When treated with respect and given the space to express their thoughts most teens have no problem with authority.

Teenagers Don't Have the Same Concerns as Adults

There’s a misconception that teens don’t have the same concerns as adults but they actually worry about many of the same things: family, friends, school, the future and more. They might deal with their concerns differently but the worries are still there and to be honest I would be worried if a teenager did have the same concerns as adults. They don't need to be worrying about money, where the next meal is coming from and things like that.

Teenagers Are Always Trying to Be Adults

While many teens seek independence they aren’t necessarily eager to grow up too fast. The pressure to act like an adult can be a lot but many teens still cherish their childhood. They may want to make their own decisions but they also value time with family, their hobbies and simply being teenagers. It’s important to let them experience this stage without the expectation that they need to be grown up.

Teenagers aren't all bad, in fact a lot of them are pretty amazing people! Not everything that they say about them is true!

What do you think about teenagers now a days?

Things I did as a teenager that I wouldn't let my teenagers do now in 2025!

When I look back at my teenage years, I can't help but chuckle (and cringe a little). The 90s were a wild time but as a parent in 2025, there are some things I absolutely won't let my girls do!

Disappearing for hours!

I could leave the house after breakfast and not return until tea time without my parents having a clue where I'd been. I'd go to friends houses, hang out in the park and go to town. It was the ultimate freedom.

I need to know where my girls are at all times. Even my eldest who's 22 I still like to know where she is. I am not a crazy, control freak I just know of the dangers that are out there!

Going out without a phone!

Back in the day, I would leave the house with just enough change for to use a phone box to call home (sometimes). Now the idea of my kids being out without their phones feels like a heart attack waiting to happen.

In 2025, phones aren’t just a luxury they're a safety net. Location tracking apps let me know they're safe (or at least where they’re supposed to be). Plus, they have no excuse for ignoring my texts! hehehe

Meeting random people from chat rooms!

Oh, MSN Messenger and Yahoo! Chat were a mysterious gateway to random friendships. I remember setting up meet ups with people I met online with zero fear. My friends and I would casually mention that we’re meeting “someone from a chat room” as if it was the most normal thing in the world and my parents didn't bat an eyelid.

The internet has evolved, and so have the dangers. With today’s apps like TikTok and Snapchat, online interactions are so much different. Online safety is a must, and I’ve drilled the importance of not trusting random online strangers into my girls heads.

Skipping school for a day off!

Skipping school to hang out in the park or at a friend's house was a rite of passage. There was no digital register back then, so it was easy to disappear for a day without anyone noticing.

With today’s technology the schools/colleges send out automated calls, texts and emails within minutes of them not showing up. Even if they tried to skip, I’d know before they even left the school gates. I remember a good few years ago Becky went missing from school or I thought she did as I got a message from them saying she wasn't there when I thought she was. Turns out it was an error with the electronic register and a supply teacher.

Hitchhiking!

Back in the day hitchhiking was another rite of passage. If you needed to get somewhere, you'd stick your thumb out and hope for a lift. It seemed totally normal to hop into a stranger's car. The dangers did not cross my mind. I would only do it if I was with friends and to be fair we lived out in the countryside so chances are the person we flagged down was probably someone my parents knew.

There is no way my girls would get into a car with someone they didn't know really well! I've seen all the true crime documentaries and news stories so the idea of my girls getting into a stranger’s car is absolutely terrifying. Public transport is so much better than it used to be now, thankfully!

Riding in cars without seatbelts!

I still remember hopping into the back seat of a car, sometimes even the boot with no seatbelt in sight. No one gave it a second thought. It was like playing a game of who could slide across the back seat the fastest when the car turned.

Today seatbelts are non negotiable and for good reason. With everything we know about road safety, I’d never let my kids in a car without one. It’s not just law, it’s common sense!

Playing out until after dark!

There was no internet so we spent most of our free time outside, playing until the streetlights came on our universal signal to head home!. No phones, no way to contact us, and somehow it all felt perfectly fine.

In today’s world letting our kids wander around until it gets dark doesn’t sit well with me. Sure I want them to have fun but with so much awareness of potential dangers, I’m all about planned activities and knowing where they are at all times.

Living without sunscreen!

Sunscreen? In the 90s? I’m pretty sure it was an optional extra. We were out in the sun all day, baking under those UV rays with little more than coconut oil slathered on for that perfect tan. I remember getting sun burned so bad each summer and one year my friend had to go to the doctors as her sunburn blistered and it had become infected! Eek!

In 2025 sunscreen is an everyday essential. In the summer practically chase my girls around with a bottle of sun cream. The idea of going outside without it makes me cringe, especially knowing how much we have learned about keeping safe in the sun, skin cancer and sun damage since then.

Going to random house parties!

Remember when we'd hear about a house party, grab a few friends and just show up? No real idea of who was hosting or how many people would be there but it didn’t matter it was a party!

House parties are a big no for my girls unless I know exactly where they are and who's going to be there. Unsupervised parties with random's in 2025 is too risky!

The world has changed a lot since I was a teenager and while some of the things I did back then feel innocent or at least mildly reckless in hindsight they just don’t fit in 2025. My girls may roll their eyes at my rules and restrictions, but as a parent, my job is to keep them safe, even if it means banning a few of the fun things I once did. 

What did you do as a teenager that you won't let your teenagers do?