Parenting Teenagers: Things I thought I’d never say out loud but did!

Before I became a parent, I knew I’d say some strange things. I’d heard other mums shout "Get that out of your nose!" or "The cat does not want to wear a nappy!" and I assumed that phase would end with toddlerhood but how naive I was!

Parenting teenagers introduces you to a whole new world of bizarre sentences, things that leave your mouth before your brain can even catch up and often the moment you say them, you pause, blink and think did I really just say that out loud?

Here are some of my favourites. All real. All said out loud.

"Snapchat is not an excuse for being late."

“Oh, sorry, I had to finish my Snap streak.” Imagine explaining that your boss at work when you are late, apparently for my youngest it is a valid excuse for being late!

"Yes, I am listening. I’m just trying to Google what you just said."

The teen slang changes weekly. I once thought rizz was a new fizzy drink. It’s not and “drip” is apparently a compliment now.

"We do not microwave socks."

Yes, it happened!! Cold feet plus laziness apparently equals a singed pair of fluffy socks and a microwave that smelled of burnt polyester for a while. Lovely!

"No, you cannot revise while watching Netflix."

Multitasking has its place but revising for exams while half watching 22 seasons of Grey's Anatomy doesn’t exactly scream academic success.

"You cannot put your phone in the fridge just because it's ‘overheating."

Thinking about it now it was quite a clever solution and I did almost let her but thought better of it.

"How many chargers do you need? You’ve got more cables than NASA."

My girls buy them when they are out and about then come home and lose them, once in a while they'll tidy their bedrooms and find all the wires which ends with a huge pile in the cupboard which all end up getting tangled.

"You cannot live on cereal bars and iced coffee."

They have both tried it and one ended up being sick on the bus after a breakfast of a cereal bar and iced coffee.

"If it smells like feet, clean it or bin it."

Some of the things in my girls bedrooms stink! I refuse to deal with it, they are old enough to sort it themselves.

"No, you cannot wear pyjama bottoms to the shop"

I don't mind too much in the winter when it's dark out but not in the middle of the day when anyone could see. The shame!

"You don’t need a £40 pair of jeans with holes in them. That’s not fashion!"

If I had holes in my clothes I would be made to sew the holes up or throw the item out. Now it's t-shirts, hoodies and of course the ripped jeans!

"No, I’m not texting you from the next room. Come here."

My girls even text each other when they are in the same room, there is no hope.

"Please don’t call your sister/dad/grandad bruv."

I don’t care if everyone else does it. They are not your bruv!

"Yes, you still have to brush your hair, even if you’re not leaving the house."

My girls get extra lazy when we have a day at home.

"Socks with sliders, really?"

When I was younger socks were not to be seen but now my girls wear them with everything including sliders which I just can't get my head around.

Parenting teenagers is chaotic, unpredictable and wildly entertaining and I wouldn't change them for anything even when I do find myself saying the most ridiculous things!

What gems have you said to your little darlings lately?

This week my Word of the Week is: Funnies! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

I have had a really quiet week, really quiet with not much at all going on. We have been enjoying time as a family which has of course ended in us all in fits of laughter over one thing and another. These are a few of the funnies which have happened this week.

How do you say chimney? I say it with an "L" in as in chimily and my fella thought this was hilarious and I was adamant that I was pronouncing it correctly. He asked the girls how they say that thing from a fireplace that is on the roof and they said chimily too so we must be right. hehehe I have since Googled it and of course it is said chimney but lots of people do say chimily.

A few weeks ago while Ellie and I were in town we saw someone that she knew, she saw the same person this week and he said to Ellie "your sister is fit". It wasn't her sister with her it was me! lol I know sometimes I look young for my age but not sister young. It was such a confidence boost and the poor young man who said it was a little bit mortified when he found out I was Ellie's mum but still said I look fit for an old woman. I'll still take that as a compliment.

Becky had a few packages delivered from Temu and soon realised that she had ordered a few of several items. Oops. She got carried away when she was browsing Temu as it is so cheap, I am not a fan and I don't trust it so it's her thing at the moment but some of the things that she got were fab. She was on video call showing off what she had bought to someone and said look at my Deadpool trainers and held one up and then said "Oh here's another one" like she wasn't expecting it.

I think I have watched too much Wrestling over the past few weeks as now when people speak I hear wrestlers in my head saying their catchphrases. Like someone says "I believe and in my head I hear "in Joe Hendry". When someone asks me to do something I don't want to do I think "No, my Tribal Chief, I can't do that" I hear "Give me a" and I finish it off in my head with "Hell Yeah and I have lost count of the amount of times I have said Yeet in the last month which just means yeah, cool!

My fella was feeling very victimised by the wasps when we were out in the garden, we told him to change his t-shirt as it was bright yellow but the stubborn streak was in play and he refused. I am scared of wasps so I thought it was so funny that they were leaving me alone for once. 

I had a chaotic 10 minutes and in the middle of the chaos Stu rang me when he had finished work and asked me to put some cans of lager in the fridge and I spent a good 10 minutes looking for them. I rang him back and said he would have to call in the shop to get some as there's none in. He told me exactly where they were, straight in front of me!! I was looking that hard that I couldn't see them. Oops. To be fair the girls couldn't see them either even though they had been there for a week in a obvious place. 

I love it how everything that the girls buy themselves is theirs but what I buy myself is fair game to them to them. They were stood next to the fridge deciding who was going to drink the drinks that I had bought myself, not including me in the conversation at all. They knew the drinks were mine but that was OK as I am just mam who buys treats for everyone but of course not for myself.

I sometimes wonder what I have taught my girls in their lives. Becky didn't know how someone would get air sick, she didn't think of people in planes and Ellie forgot what her elbows were called during the week. 

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay for her Word of the Week linky!

Confessions of a nosy neighbour: How my security camera made me even nosier!

I never set out to be the nosy neighbour but I do like to know what's going on outside, especially on my street. I've always been a little nosy but during the lockdowns I got even nosier Then things happened and we got a security camera. Now, I am fully invested in the lives of the people on my street and I don’t even know most of their names.

It started innocently enough. I wanted a security camera to keep an eye on my house for safety reasons. What I didn’t expect was that my camera would provide me with the best reality TV show that I didn't even know that I needed!

One of my favourite things to watch is the early morning rush. Parents ushering their little darlings to school. There’s people who are always running late, hurrying their kids into cars, forgetting things like school bags, a lunchboxes. There are little one's running away from their parents, chasing after dogs and whizzing off on their bikes and running riot.

There's a neighbour who sits in his car for about 20 minutes before he leaves for work. I have no idea why he just sits there but I imagine he’s scrolling through his phone, sipping his coffee and contemplating his life choices. lol

If you think your street is boring, get a security camera because trust me, stuff happens and it's so interesting!

There's the neighbourhood cat who does make me chuckle. He comes out every day just after 3pm waiting for the kids coming home from school hoping to be stroked. It is very clever and if he does get stroked he will follow the person for a little bit and then run back to it's spot. I've seen it try to jump in the back of cars or delivery vans and it has an awful habit on sitting under cars that are parked up, I do fear for it's safety sometimes.

One of the more intriguing sights my camera has uncovered is a mystery individual who walks past my house at around the same time every single night. Hood up with a plate of food in his hands, every night!! Where has he been to get the food? Who cooks it for him? What's on the plate?

I always thought to myself that I never see my neighbours getting a food shop either delivered or carrying bags in from their cars but it turns out everyone gets a food shop. hehehe There's the fancy family up the road who get Ocado or Waitrose every week and there's always supermarket delivery vans whizzing about. I love having a nosy and seeing what people bring in with their food shops.

The funniest time to watch my security camera is when the weather is bad. Parents trying to hurry their kids along in the rain, people slip sliding on ice and bin day is extremely entertaining when it is windy out and the bins have blown open and fallen over! There's rubbish everywhere and blowing about.

I have found the camera fantastic for catching people doing things that they shouldn't. I am always spotting delivery people walking over my grass and when I tell them not to they said they didn't! Little liars. The camera is also great for when they say they came at a certain time to say they tried to deliver a parcel but the camera footage shows different. 

I like to pretend that I check the camera footage purely for security purposes but if I’m being brutally honest it has become a guilty pleasure. Watching the daily dramas, the comedy of everyday life and the tiny mundane moments that are all weirdly fascinating.

Do you have a security camera? Have you seen any interesting sights?

When do you really become an adult?

Adulthood is one of those mythical stages of life like finding a unicorn or being able to eat pizza without gaining weight. We all know it's supposed to happen but no one really knows when or how. Society tries to convince us that adulthood starts at 18, 21, or maybe 25 if you’re feeling generous but let’s face it, those are just numbers. At 18 you’re legally an adult and are allowed to vote, drink alcohol and get a credit card or a loan but many of us still have young adult children at that age and older who need us to help them book a doctors appointment or help with finances.

So what actually makes you an adult? Here are some fun, tongue in cheek markers that might indicate you’ve reached that elusive stage:

You have a favourite ring on the cooker: When you start feeling a sense of loyalty to a specific ring on the cooker you know you’ve reached a new level of adulting. My favourite it the front right one. hehehe

You get excited about fresh produce: Remember when you used to roll your eyes at people going about their day shopping for fresh fruit and vegetables. Now you’re one of them lovingly squeezing avocados and chatting about the freshness of veg!

Winning at laundry day: Getting all your clothes washed, dried, and folded in the same day? That’s a win worthy of celebration! It doesn't happen often here but when the washing basket is empty I feel so chuffed with myself!

The supermarket epiphany: You’ve made it as an adult when you realize the highlight of your week is a well stocked fridge. Not just any fridge, though one with actual vegetables. You also start noticing the price of butter and muttering things like £5 for Lurpak! Outrageous!

You consult Doctor Google: You Google symptoms at 2am convincing yourself you either have a mild cold or a rare tropical disease or a simple headache or a brain tumour.

You sort of enjoy cleaning: When you were younger, cleaning was the punishment for existing. Now, you find an odd sort of zen in scrubbing the sink or hoovering the living room.

You get excited about kitchen gadgets: Remember when the idea of a new video game or concert tickets gave you a thrill? Now nothing beats the excitement of an air fryer on sale or a garlic press that actually works. 

The big night out has changed: Remember when a big night out involved a dodgy club, overpriced drinks and regrettable dance moves? Now, the ultimate night involves pj's, a scented candle and a gripping TV series you can’t stay awake to finish. 

You have a bedtime: Gone are the days of pulling all-nighters. Now staying up past 11pm feels like a wild night out.

You budget for fun: That thing you used to think only boring people did. It turns out budgeting for a holiday is the new rock and roll.

You accept that fun is subjective: Adulthood teaches you that fun isn’t just about adrenaline or chaos. Sometimes it’s a good cup of tea, a quiet afternoon or finally organising that cupboard. Is it boring? Maybe but it’s your kind of boring, and that’s what matters!

Most days I don't feel like the responsible adult that I should be and I think that is fine. It's all about balancing responsibilities while still having fun, making mistakes and still learning things.

When did you first feel like an adult?

Winter Struggles!

We have had a cold snap of weather, well we did when I was writing this blog post it might have changed by now as the weather has been a little crazy for the last year or so. There are good things about winter but it really isn't my favourite season! As much as we all love the twinkling fairy lights, cosy jumpers, and endless mugs of hot chocolate let’s be honest winter sucks and brings with it a unique set of struggles that can only be tackled with a good sense of humour. 

Fashion vs Survival!

Winter fashion looks so gorgeous on Instagram. Sleek coats, stylish boots and those oversized scarves that somehow seem effortless to put on but in reality, getting dressed in winter is less about looking like a Vogue cover and more about resembling a well insulated burrito. I pile on so many layers I can’t bend my elbows and suddenly I'm waddling down the street like a Michelin Man impersonator!

The Cold Toilet Seat!

If there’s one thing that can shock you awake faster than coffee, it’s a cold toilet seat. You’re half asleep, hoping for a peaceful moment, and bam! You’re wide awake hating the winter even more!

Slip Sliding!

Walking on icy pavements is a true test of your dignity! You start off confidently, thinking I’ve got this and then your foot betrays you sending you into an unintentional dance routine worthy of a standing ovation. Think Bambi on ice! The worst part is the realisation that you’re going down, giving everyone nearby plenty of time to witness the spectacle.

Hat Hair Disaster!

Hats are essential in winter but they come at a price: your hair! Take your hat off and you’ve either got flat, lifeless locks or the kind of static frizz that defies gravity. Either way you look like you lost a fight with a tumble dryer.

The Great Heating Debate!

If you share your home with others winter brings a new battleground: the heating. There’s always one person bundled in three blankets while someone else insists it’s not that cold. For those of us trying to keep energy bills in check, there’s also the heating compromise: turn it on just enough so you don’t see your breath indoors, but not enough to bankrupt yourself. My most used phrase over the winter is "shut the door". I want to keep the heat in and my family seem to forget that.

Short Days!

Winter days are a joke. I always say I like the dark evenings, getting cosy but by this time of winter I am over them! Some days it doesn't really even get light at all. Ugh!

The Eternal Nose Drip!

Winter turns your nose into a dripping tap that no tissue box can tame. You step outside, and within seconds, your nose decides to run. Worse, if you’re wearing a scarf, it becomes a sponge for the sniffles because nothing says “winter glam” like a damp wool accessory stuck to your face.

Slush!

Fresh snow is magical but give it a day and it turns into grey, slushy misery. Walking through slush is like stepping into a puddle made of cold, wet regret. Worse, it splashes back onto your trousers, leaving you with damp, freezing ankles that remind you how cruel life can be. It’s snow’s way of saying  you loved me yesterday and now you must suffer!

What do you dislike about the winter?

Things I did as a teenager that I wouldn't let my teenagers do now in 2025!

When I look back at my teenage years, I can't help but chuckle (and cringe a little). The 90s were a wild time but as a parent in 2025, there are some things I absolutely won't let my girls do!

Disappearing for hours!

I could leave the house after breakfast and not return until tea time without my parents having a clue where I'd been. I'd go to friends houses, hang out in the park and go to town. It was the ultimate freedom.

I need to know where my girls are at all times. Even my eldest who's 22 I still like to know where she is. I am not a crazy, control freak I just know of the dangers that are out there!

Going out without a phone!

Back in the day, I would leave the house with just enough change for to use a phone box to call home (sometimes). Now the idea of my kids being out without their phones feels like a heart attack waiting to happen.

In 2025, phones aren’t just a luxury they're a safety net. Location tracking apps let me know they're safe (or at least where they’re supposed to be). Plus, they have no excuse for ignoring my texts! hehehe

Meeting random people from chat rooms!

Oh, MSN Messenger and Yahoo! Chat were a mysterious gateway to random friendships. I remember setting up meet ups with people I met online with zero fear. My friends and I would casually mention that we’re meeting “someone from a chat room” as if it was the most normal thing in the world and my parents didn't bat an eyelid.

The internet has evolved, and so have the dangers. With today’s apps like TikTok and Snapchat, online interactions are so much different. Online safety is a must, and I’ve drilled the importance of not trusting random online strangers into my girls heads.

Skipping school for a day off!

Skipping school to hang out in the park or at a friend's house was a rite of passage. There was no digital register back then, so it was easy to disappear for a day without anyone noticing.

With today’s technology the schools/colleges send out automated calls, texts and emails within minutes of them not showing up. Even if they tried to skip, I’d know before they even left the school gates. I remember a good few years ago Becky went missing from school or I thought she did as I got a message from them saying she wasn't there when I thought she was. Turns out it was an error with the electronic register and a supply teacher.

Hitchhiking!

Back in the day hitchhiking was another rite of passage. If you needed to get somewhere, you'd stick your thumb out and hope for a lift. It seemed totally normal to hop into a stranger's car. The dangers did not cross my mind. I would only do it if I was with friends and to be fair we lived out in the countryside so chances are the person we flagged down was probably someone my parents knew.

There is no way my girls would get into a car with someone they didn't know really well! I've seen all the true crime documentaries and news stories so the idea of my girls getting into a stranger’s car is absolutely terrifying. Public transport is so much better than it used to be now, thankfully!

Riding in cars without seatbelts!

I still remember hopping into the back seat of a car, sometimes even the boot with no seatbelt in sight. No one gave it a second thought. It was like playing a game of who could slide across the back seat the fastest when the car turned.

Today seatbelts are non negotiable and for good reason. With everything we know about road safety, I’d never let my kids in a car without one. It’s not just law, it’s common sense!

Playing out until after dark!

There was no internet so we spent most of our free time outside, playing until the streetlights came on our universal signal to head home!. No phones, no way to contact us, and somehow it all felt perfectly fine.

In today’s world letting our kids wander around until it gets dark doesn’t sit well with me. Sure I want them to have fun but with so much awareness of potential dangers, I’m all about planned activities and knowing where they are at all times.

Living without sunscreen!

Sunscreen? In the 90s? I’m pretty sure it was an optional extra. We were out in the sun all day, baking under those UV rays with little more than coconut oil slathered on for that perfect tan. I remember getting sun burned so bad each summer and one year my friend had to go to the doctors as her sunburn blistered and it had become infected! Eek!

In 2025 sunscreen is an everyday essential. In the summer practically chase my girls around with a bottle of sun cream. The idea of going outside without it makes me cringe, especially knowing how much we have learned about keeping safe in the sun, skin cancer and sun damage since then.

Going to random house parties!

Remember when we'd hear about a house party, grab a few friends and just show up? No real idea of who was hosting or how many people would be there but it didn’t matter it was a party!

House parties are a big no for my girls unless I know exactly where they are and who's going to be there. Unsupervised parties with random's in 2025 is too risky!

The world has changed a lot since I was a teenager and while some of the things I did back then feel innocent or at least mildly reckless in hindsight they just don’t fit in 2025. My girls may roll their eyes at my rules and restrictions, but as a parent, my job is to keep them safe, even if it means banning a few of the fun things I once did. 

What did you do as a teenager that you won't let your teenagers do?

Christmas Day! Expectations vs. Reality!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas day! I wrote this a few weeks ago as I knew I would be busy this week with visits to family and friends, last minute preparation and of course celebrating the most wonderful time of the year. We all have expectations what Christmas will be like. In an ideal world it would be Pinterest worthy but it doesn't always work out like that!

Christmas is a day full of magic, anticipation, and high hopes but also the inevitable unexpected twists.

Waking Up!

Expectation: Everyone wakes up refreshed, children rush in with smiles and the scent of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon wafts through the house.

Reality: You wake up groggy from wrapping gifts until 2am, someone oversleeps or the kids are up at 5am full of energy while you stumble for the coffee maker.

Christmas Breakfast!

Expectation: A lovingly prepared breakfast with fluffy pancakes, perfectly crisp bacon and an array of fresh fruit arranged like a winter wonderland.

Reality: One kid just wants cereal, another has eaten too much chocolate and the toast has burned! You start rummaging through the fridge to make emergency waffles while shouting, “Who put empty juice cartons back?”.

Opening Presents in Harmony!

Expectation: Each person opens gifts in turn, everyone reacts with joy and heartfelt  thank yous are exchanged.

Reality: Wrapping paper is everywhere, gifts are opened in a frenzy, a child is already asking where the batteries are and someone didn’t quite get what they wanted.

The Grand Christmas Feast!

Expectation: A perfectly roasted turkey or nut roast surrounded by all the trimmings, people praising the delicious food and family photos around the table.

Reality: The turkey is slightly dry, the Brussels sprouts are overcooked and the potatoes refuse to crisp. Someone forgets an essential side dish and there’s a mad dash for store bought gravy.

Picture Perfect Family Photos!

Expectation: Coordinated outfits, smiling faces and a photo worthy of a Christmas card.

Reality: The kids are fidgety, one person has their eyes closed in every shot and the dog won't stay still. After 30 photos, you give up and settle for one where half of the family looks decent.

A Peaceful Christmas Afternoon

Expectation: Board games, cosy chats by the fire, and relaxed contentment.

Reality: Board games lead to competitive chaos, someone falls asleep on the sofa snoring and kids start getting restless with their new toys.

The End of the Day!

Expectation: You tuck everyone into bed, satisfied with the day and bask in the glow of the fairy lights as you reflect on the precious memories made.

Reality: You’re picking up gift tags, stepping on rogue Lego, and noticing someone’s left a half eaten candy cane on the armrest, where it’s now stuck. 

Even with the chaos, dry turkey, mess and arguments I know Christmas will still be fun and memories will be made! Christmas isn’t about perfection. I hope you are having a great day whatever you are doing!

The crazy things in the run up to Christmas!

The run up to Christmas is it's own kind of bonkers. Sure, it’s all twinkling lights and mulled wine on the surface but scratch a little deeper, and you’ll find a treasure trove craziness which makes me giggle when I think about it. All logic seems to fly out of the window and we all collectively lose our minds in the pursuit of festive perfection.

The food shopping frenzy!

You’d think we’re preparing for a month long snowstorm not one Christmas dinner. There’s always that one person with a trolley so stuffed that it looks like they’re feeding the five thousand and the panic is real. Have we got enough cheese, just one more block is needed when it really isn't. Heaven forbid you’re the one to grab the last box of stuffing mix, it could cause a riot!

The Christmas Card Conundrum!

First there’s the annual debate: to send or not to send? If you’re the sender you probably spent a solid hour debating whether to include a heartfelt note or just go with a generic "Merry Christmas, love from us." Is this a "Best wishes" kind of friend or a "Love always" type? And let’s not even mention the existential crisis of running out of stamps (have you seen the price of them now) and deciding if distant Aunt Margaret really needs a card this year.

The “Who Ate the Chocolates?” Game!

Advent calendars are a lovely tradition until someone gets sneaky. One minute you’re opening December 15th to a chocolate Santa and the next you’re staring at an empty square because someone (one of my girls probably) have raided ahead and ate one of my treats. Hmmf! So the petty side of me pinches one of there chocolates too. hehehe

The Christmas Jumpers!

It’s that time of year when people, grown adults proudly strut about in jumpers that look like they’ve lost a bet. Glitter, pompoms and LED lights aren’t just encouraged they’re mandatory. My fella has a Star Wars one which he is so proud of but it's hideous. Becky has a Deadpool one which she loves but it's not my favourite thing that she wears at Christmas.

The Wrapping Paper Olympics!

Wrapping gifts is supposed to be fun, right? Wrong! First, there’s the existential crisis of trying to match paper to the recipient. Would dad appreciate glittery snowflakes or neutral stripes? I always lose the scissors run out of tape and by the end at least one present looks like it’s been mangled by an overly enthusiastic toddler!

The "Just a Few More Presents" Problem!

Does anyone actually finish their Christmas shopping early? If you do, you’re a rare and mystical creature. I finished last week but I still seem to be buying presents. I convince myself that one more scented candle will complete someone's gift. Just a little box of chocolates will be nice for someone else's present pile. It's never ending! I need some self discipline. lol

The Weather Optimism!

Why do we Brits always think it’s going to snow at Christmas? Every year someone says, “It’s looking likely this time!” as if they have a hotline to the Met Office. In reality, we’re more likely to get torrential rain and gale force winds than a Winter Wonderland. But does that stop us? Nope. We carry on dreaming!

What makes you laugh in the run up to Christmas?

50 Elf on the Shelf ideas that you’ll love!

Many, many years ago when my girls were little in December we would get a little visitor, Elizabeth our the Elf on the Shelf! For the first week in December I was always full of ideas and soon after I struggled so would look online for inspiration.

Whether your elf is a seasoned pro or just making it's debut, coming up with creative and fun ideas can sometimes feel like a bit of a challenge so here are 50 Elf on the Shelf ideas to keep you sane throughout December!

Zipline Adventure: Create a zipline across the room using string and have the elf hang on.

Marshmallow Bath: Place the elf in a bowl of marshmallows, as if taking a bath.

Cereal Box Hideout: Hide the elf inside a cereal box with just its head poking out.

Book Nook: Set up the elf reading a book or surrounded by a small stack of books.

Lego Construction Site: Place the elf amidst a Lego construction scene.

Cookie Decorating: Set up a cookie decorating station with the elf in the middle.

Elf ‘Selfies’ with the Toys: Leave out a camera or a phone, and have your elf surrounded by your child's favourite toys as if they’ve been up all night snapping selfies. 

Snow Angel: Make a “snow angel” on the kitchen side with flourand place the elf on it.

Movie Night: Set the elf up with popcorn and treats ready to watch a movie.

Bathroom Shenanigans: Put the elf in the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper unravelled.

Balloon Ride: Attach the elf to a balloon for a floating effect.

Puppet Show: Use stuffed animals or finger puppets for a mini puppet show with the elf.

Candy Cane Hunt: Hide candy canes around the house with the elf pointing them out.

Christmas Tree Climber: Place the elf climbing the Christmas tree.

Puzzle Solver: Put the elf in the middle of a jigsaw puzzle, as if working on it.

Toy Car Races: Position the elf racing toy cars on a track.

Teddy Bear Tea Party: Set up a tea party with the elf and stuffed animals.

Sticker Fun: Have the elf covered in or surrounded by festive stickers.

Snack Thief: Put the elf in the middle of a snack stash with a few crumbs around.

Christmas Lights Tangle: Wrap the elf in Christmas lights (safely and loosely).

Colouring Fun: Set up a colouring station with the elf holding crayons or markers.

Elf Trapped: Place the elf in a jar or container with a note saying, “Help me!”

Scavenger Hunt: Leave clues around the house with the elf leading to a small prize.

Snowball Fight: Set up a scene with cotton balls as “snowballs” and the elf in the middle.

Elf Graffiti: Draw silly faces on family photos using non-permeant marker of course.

Holiday Playlist DJ: Create a mini DJ booth with the elf spinning records or playing music.

Elf Size Snacks: Make tiny snacks and place the elf next to them.

Top of the tree: Place the elf as the topper on your Christmas tree.

Elf Making Reindeer Food: Have the elf making ‘reindeer food’ with oats and glitter.

Elf on the Shelf Calendar: Set up a mini advent calendar just for the elf.

Gingerbread House Building: Set up a gingerbread house kit with the elf “constructing” it.

Snowflake Maker: Have the elf cutting out paper snowflakes.

Read the Elf on the Shelf Book: Have the elf reading its own book

Toothpaste Message: Write a cheeky message on the bathroom mirror using toothpaste.

Snowman Making: Use cotton balls or marshmallows to create a snowman with the elf.

Tiny Tree Decorating: Have the elf decorating a mini Christmas tree.

Elf on the Shelf Tattoo: Create temporary tattoos or stickers for the elf.

Elf in the Sink ‘Bubble Bath’: Fill the sink with cotton balls and place the elf inside.

Santa’s List: Have the elf reviewing or making a list of names.

DIY Snow Globe: Place your elf inside a clear jar with fake snow.

Gift Unwrapping: Set up a scene where the elf is in the middle of unwrapping gifts.

Elves in Training: Create a training camp with the elf doing “exercise” or obstacle courses.

Elf in the Fridge: Have the elf inside the fridge, bundled up in a scarf.

Mini Spa Day: Create a spa scene with the elf relaxing in a tiny robe or towel.

Christmas Wish List: Create a list of holiday wishes and have the elf holding it.

Christmas Elf Parade: Create a parade with toy figures and the elf leading.

Shoe Parade: Put the elf in a line of shoes like it’s a parade.

Game Night: Set up a board game with the elf as the player.

Elf Bandit: Fill a toy car with chocolate coins and have the elf driving off with them.

Elf and the pet: Have the elf interacting with your pet’s toys.

Do you have any more ideas of what to do with the elf?

If you don't laugh, you'll cry!

There's a saying "If you don't laugh you'll cry and that was so true when we had that bit of drama and a stay for Ellie in hospital. We had to find the smallest things to keep our spirits up and we found plenty of things to chuckle about.

Mc'Doctors!

If you have seen Grey's Anatomy you know Derek Shepherd is called McDreamy and Mark Sloan is called McSteamy. Well we met a few doctors and nurses that we named. McOlivia who reminded us of our friends daughter who works in a hospital, she looked like her and was so kind like her. There was McStabby who got a bit enthusiastic when he was trying to take blood from Ellie and McFunny who was a nurse who kept us laughing throughout the night.

Football on the TV.

When we were sat in A&E at about half past seven you could see all the men getting antsy, they were wanting to watch the England match. One man took charge and started trying to switch on the TV that was on the wall. One of the reception staff came out with a remote and there was a cheer when they got the football on just as the teams were singing their national anthems. All the men were crowded around the TV including my dad.

Old People!

Old people are hilarious. They have no time for faffing around and they definitely know what they want. A woman in the bed opposite Ellie was given her lunch and said I am not eating this crap, she demanded beans on toast and got it! Another woman wanted water which was colder and said in fact just get me some ice cubes. A woman was telling us about the blood she was getting delivered from Barnsley, she had a rare blood type and thought it was so funny they had none in this hospital. 

Not what she ordered!

On the first morning Ellie was in hospital she panicked when the nurse came around with the menu for lunch and just asked for a ham sandwich. By lunchtime Ellie had moved rooms and it turns out she got what the previous person had ordered. Orange Juice, some sort of green soup which she loved, Lasagne, mashed potato, chocolate sponge cake and custard. It was such a nice surprise. After lunch she ordered her tea and then ended up changing rooms so got another surprise meal. This time it was not to her liking so she ended up with tomato soup, a ham sandwich and chocolate and vanilla mousse. It turns out hospital food is not as bad as she thought.

Getting lost!

When Ellie was having lunch Stu and I decided to go for something to eat. The canteen is at the other side of the hospital and it turns out most of the staff at one side do not know where it is as it's so far! We got lost several times and it was a good 15 minute walk. I said if I had been by myself I would have just sat down and cried, Stu was with me so we found it funny and Ellie found it hilarious that we had taken so long.

Snoring!

The night I stayed with Ellie I didn't get much sleep, partly because she was vomiting and partly because I had a normal chair. When Stu stayed with her he got a reclining armchair and had a good sleep, so much so that Ellie threw a cup at his head (it was just a paper one) to wake him up as he was snoring so much.

The Vampire!

On the ward where Ellie was if the struggle to get blood out of someone to test they call for the sweetest and most gentle nurse who never fails to get blood. Ellie's veins were not good, small they told us and it was a struggle but the vampire nurse did an amazing job and got enough blood. When the nurses had gone off to back where they came from all the woman on the ward were saying when you see that nurse coming you know she's coming for blood. Eek!

Good toast!

On the morning after Ellie had been vomiting the nurses asked her if she wanted some toast and she said yes, not expecting anything amazing but the toast she had was the best toast ever!! I told her how when I had her and her sister that first slice of toast after my c-section's was amazing too!! She said there must be something special in it. 

Have you ever found things to laugh about while staying in hospital?

What I went without as a child!

 A few weeks ago our Prime Minister Rishi Sunak said that he went without “lots of things” as a child growing up in the UK, citing Sky TV as an example. The memes after on social media were hilarious but I don't think that was what the interviewer was pushing for. I know children going without things is nothing to joke, there are a lot of children who do go without the essentials and that is so sad. I don't mean to disrespect that but this post is a tongue in cheek look at the things that I went without as a child.

I was in no way hard done to as a child, I didn't go without the essentials like food, clothing and warmth but there were some things I went without that other people my age had and I sometimes resented my parents for. On the other hand I had things kids my age didn't have: horses and ponies, quad bikes, a farm to play on and lots of toys!

Sky TV!

Sky TV was a luxury when I was a child and my family never had it! My family would not have benefitted from having a ton of TV channels as my brother and I were always out on the farm and my parents were always working. The first time I got it was when my eldest was about 7 years old so that's 14 years ago. 

Branded clothes! 

My parents would not buy my brother and I branded clothes. We didn't have expensive clothes but we weren't badly dressed. I think it was a good thing that I didn't keep up with the latest trend as I am not bothered now about spending loads on clothes. My first pair of branded trainers cost me a couple of pounds from a car boot sale and most of my clothes now come from Primark or Shein.

Coca-Cola!

We never had Coca-Cola when I was growing up. The only time I remember having any fizzy pop was at Christmas and it was the cheap supermarket version of cola. It was probably a good thing, I have always been reluctant to let my girls have fizzy pop.

Electricity!

When we first moved to the farm house that my dad had built we had no electricity supply for about 3 years. There was some sort of dispute about who should supply it as the farm was over 2 counties, it wasn't that big but two fields were in one and the rest of the farm in the other. Our power was run on generators and was only switched on when it started to get dark, the generators needed filling with petrol every couple of hours which I can't imagine was any fun for my parents on cold evenings.

Takeaways!

We would get fish and chips when we went to the beach and apart from that nothing! The first time I had a takeaway was when I was at my friends house when I was about 13 years old. I don't remember ever getting one at home as a child or teenager.

Birthday parties!

I had one birthday party when I was a child and I think my brother only had one too and I think my mam thought that was enough. Our birthday's weren't ignored, we would always have a great day out to a theme park for my brother's as his was in April and mine being in November meant the theme parks were closed so we would always go for a big shopping trip and a fancy meal.

A Mr Frosty!

Mr Frosty was the thing of dreams in the 80's. We all wanted this little fella because it meant we could make slush puppy drinks to our heart's content. I think my mother didn't by me one because she knew the mess and chaos I'd create. I was daft enough to by Ellie one a few years ago for Christmas. It was the Olaf slush maker. I'd say near enough the same as Mr Frosty. It was useless! It did not crush the ice.

Fun cereal!

I thought I was so hard done to not getting fun breakfast cereal! We would have Cornflakes or Shreddies but nothing fun. I wanted Coco-pops, Lucky Charms or even Honey Nut Loops but my mam would never buy them! I wanted to be full of sugar on a morning, maybe my mother knew best!

Holidays!

I never went abroad as a child and only had a couple of weekends away when I was growing up. One to Scarborough and another to Blackpool. My parents had businesses to run. A milk round and then the farm. I don't think the animals would have appreciated being left for a couple of weeks. My brother, my friends and I camped out on the farm or their farms which was fantastic fun!

Fun packed lunches!

My mum would always pack me rubbish packed lunches for school. There was no chocolate biscuits, fun yoghurts or fizzy pop! (They were still allowed in the 80's and early 90's). I got ham sandwiches with mustard, sandwich pickle or ketchup, cheap no-name crisps, boring plain biscuits and diluted juice.

Even though I went without these things as a child I was still very lucky to have a good childhood. This post is meant in fun and not to offend.

What did you go without as a child that everyone else seemed to have? 

Classic mum sayings that have stood the test of time.

When I was a teenager and my mother used to say phrases to me, usually nagging and I always said to myself that I would never, ever say the same things to my children. hahaha That didn't last long. The phrases my mum used to say to me have stood the test of time and when my girls were little I said them and I still say many of the phrases now! 

Because I said so, that's why!

I say this all of the time when I want to end an argument or I don't really have an answer for why I don't want them to have or do something!

Don’t say “what”, say “pardon”.

And usually they look at me blankly and say "what".

If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?

Ellie always says she probably would and I can probably believe it!

I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.

Yep, I use this all of the time, still. One day the things that I am telling my girls will sink in and I will feel like they actually listen to me.

I want never gets.

And usually they reply with "but please", at least my girls have manners when they really want something.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

Now that Becky is working she understands this, I am sure Ellie still thinks I have a money tree hidden away somewhere.

I don’t care who started it.

I use this at least once a day, my girls always bicker and I really don't care who started it, it ends now! Of course they argue back trying to explain who started whatever the argument was about, trying to get me to take sides.

Go and ask your dad.

And he always says go and ask your mam. lol

Wait until your dad gets home.

I used to say this all of the time when the kids were being naughty, not that their dad coming home would make much difference, he was always the soft one who let them get away with much more than me.

I’ve got eyes in the back of my head.

I think for a long time my girls believed this, literally. lol

I’ll give you until the count of three.

I still don't know what would have happened if I got to three. The threat of getting to three was more than enough to get my girls to stop doing whatever they were doing or start doing what they needed to do. I still use the count of three now, I can't believe the magic of counting hasn't worn off.

One day you’ll have children and you’ll understand.

Won't they just! 

Call me when you arrive so I know you’ve got there safely.

Yes, my girls know to text me when they get to wherever they are going and to text on the way home.

Were you born in a barn?.

When they leave the door open, they look at me like I have lost the plot. 

It’ll all end in tears.

I say this all of the time, my girls like to do silly things which will all end in tears.

I don’t care what so and so’s parents do, I’m not so and so’s mam.

You can parent how you want to, I will parent how I want to. My girls still don't seem to understand that everyone's life is different and what works in one family/household might not work here.

You're not going out dressed like that.

I have definitely said this, not to Becky but to Ellie. She had an outfit on a few weeks ago, a skin tight matching crop top and leggings. It was showing too much skin and I felt so old saying that really isn't appropriate for college.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

I have always said this to my girls and sometimes their mouths do run away with them but they generally stay positive and say nothing if they don't have anything nice to say.

How can you say you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?

I still say this to my girls especially if we are trying something new to eat. Becky refused to eat one of our Gousto meals a little while ago because she didn't like the sound of the name of the meal because it had too many words in. Give me strength!

Life isn't fair.

When my girls say "it's not fair" to anything I always say life isn't fair. Oops.

How many have you said to your children?