Happy Mothers Day!!

 

 

You know you're a mother when....

 

You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cake to make sure they’re equal.

You find yourself cutting your husbands’ sandwiches into cute shapes.

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “NOT in your good clothes!”
 

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.    

 

 You hire a get a babysitter because you haven’t been out with your other half in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
 

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
 

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

 

Someone else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

 

You’ve mastered the art of placing large quantities food on a plate without anything touching. 
 

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.
 

Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don’t care.

Your handbag is crammed with emergency toys, candy and first aid supplies.

You can remove chewing gum from just about anything.

 

You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Hope all you mothers have a great day today and get spoilt rotton!! xxx
 

30 Random Facts About Me! #30factsaboutme

Seen #30factsaboutme trending on twitter and it inspired me to write this post...Sharing 30 facts about myself....I've been meaning to post this for ages...So here it is!!

 1. I grew up on a farm....We had mainly cows & lots of horses!

2. From the age of about 10 to 31 I was allergic to cheese...Never ate it....Used to give me migraines....Only one night I was drunk & ate pizza and I wasn't ill!! Result!

3. I have never been abroad.....Furthest North is to Edinburgh, Scotland and as far south as Northampton.

4. The film 'The Ring' is the reason I can't watch horror films now....Damn that girl coming out of the TV!. Too scary!

5. I smoke.....Naughty I know!

6. On one Aprils fool day I cut my hand on a glass while washing up (it had smashed in the sink)....My mam thought I was joking....Only believed me when I went and bled all over the living room carpet. Had stitches and I'm left with an inch long scar over my knuckle... 

7. I studied childcare at college.

8. I'm a medical wonder...lol I have a hole in my heart, leaky heart valves and a  A bicornuate uterus..Meaning my womb is a womb that is roughly heart shaped instead of the more normal pear shape....Nothing to do with my heart problems though....lol

9. I am not a movie person....I hardly watch films because I get bored with them too quickly....I prefer tv shows! But....

10. I do have a few select films I can watch over and over including Con Air, Demolition man, Dirty Dancing, Titanic, Armageddon & Snatch.

11.The first book I remember reading was 'Boy' by Roald Dahl....

12. If I was to go out for a meal and they were on the menu I would always have a prawn cocktail for starters then scampi & chips for a main...

13. I am so shy.....Not just shy If I don't know you well I will hardly talk....People think I'm ignorant or snobby but I'm not I'm just painfully shy!

14. I had my ears pierced when I was 16....They lasted a week....I don't do earrings!!

15. I don't like to speak on the phone....The only people I spend more than 3 minutes on the phone to is my dad and my Aunty Jean!

16. I can't spell 'definitely' without putting it in google....Just a word I can't get the hang of spelling...lol

17. I own 2 dresses and 1 skirt....I'm more of a jeans or leggings person.

18. I call crumpets Pikelets....No one else I know calls them that apart from me and my dad!

19. The first two ponies I had were called Scampi & the other called chips & when she had a foal we called him Beeny as in Beans...lol

20. My favorite song ever is either Always by Bon Jovi or Sweet child 'o' mine by Guns n Roses....

21. I used to make Power tools at a Black & Decker factory...

22. I used to bite my nails....They were really bad....I stopped the day I had Becky....No idea why....Never even noticed until I had to cut them for the first time in 22 years!!

23. I have moved house 14 times in my life....Hopefully we're staying here for a long time to come!!....

24. I am a huge WWE wrestling fan and have watched it for the last 20 years...

25. I would of been called Tony if I was born a boy...

26. I swear too much....

27. I watch Diners, Drive-ins & Dives at least 5 nights a week..

28. The last film I seen at the pictures was Titanic...I haven't been to the Cinema for a while..

29. My favourite cocktail is Sex on the beach..

30. I have never eaten cheesecake....

 

Tax, Tax, Tax!!

At first I thought this was funny....Then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.

 

 

Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Cooking Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Goods and Services Tax (GST)
Death Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Income Tax
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Petrol Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Heating Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Lighting Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Pension Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Tax
Value Added Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Tax (VAT) on Tax.
And Now they want a blooming Carbon Tax!

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world... We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class,a huge manufacturing base, and Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the Hell happened? Could it be the lying parasitic politicians wasting our money?

World Book Day!!

Today is World book day!! 

A day all us mothers dread....Trying to find the perfect costume for our little darlings...Well Ellie's was easy! She's a princess of course....Becky has decided she is now too cool to dress up and has chosen not to....Ellie was up early and I swear it's taken her longer to get ready than it takes me to get ready for a night out....

 It was wonderful seeing all the kids dressed up at school....So many princesses and lots of Tigers this year too..  

World Book Day is a celebration of authors, illustrators, books and most importantly it’s a celebration of reading....This is the 16th year there’s been a World Book Day, and on 7th March children of all ages will come together to appreciate reading. The main aim of World Book Day in the UK and Ireland is to encourage children to explore the pleasures of books and reading by providing them with the opportunity to have a book of their own. 

All children will be getting a Book Token then they can take their voucher to a local bookseller and can use it to pick one of EIGHT (exclusive, new and completely free) books. Or, if they’d rather, they can use it to get £1 off any book or audio book costing over £2.99 at a participating bookshop or book club...

I already know which one's my girls will be choosing....Horrid Henry’s Guide to Perfect Parents for Becky and Giraffes Can’t Dance Colouring and Puzzle Fun for Ellie....

Both my girls love books....Becky especially....She can quite happily sit and read for hours and can easily read a book from cover to cover without getting bored...Ellie is growing to love books too...