Just a little disclaimer, Ellie knows I have written this, called me a soft sod for getting all emotional in my writing and is happy for me to share this bit of her life. In fact she wanted me to share it to show how far she has came and how much she has changed. I think she also wanted it in writing that I don't absolutely hate tattoos. lol
If you’d told me a couple of years ago that my daughter, Ellie my 18 year old, my sweet 18 year old, still my baby Ellie would one day get a tattoo I probably would’ve laughed and said no, it's not happening, not on my watch. Tattoos were one of those things that made me twitchy, they're too permanent, too bold, too much. I always imagined my kids growing up and not walking around with pictures on their skin for life! So when Ellie told me she was getting a Medusa tattoo, I nearly spat out my tea. Medusa?! The woman with snakes for hair who could turn people to stone? I think I actually said why not a nice flower instead or a Disney character out of panic but once she explained why she’d chosen it my attitude started to shift.
I didn’t know much about Medusa beyond what I had learned in school. She was a monster with a head full of snakes and a bad temper but my daughter explained the deeper side of the story. Medusa wasn’t born a monster, she was a woman who was wronged, punished unfairly and transformed into a figure that people feared. Over time Medusa has become a symbol of female empowerment, strength and survival especially for women who’ve faced trauma or injustice. For many a Medusa tattoo represents the journey from victim to victor, the ability to overcome adversity and the courage to reclaim power after pain. She’s also seen as a protector: fierce, unapologetic and defiant. And for clarity, because people sometimes assume, Ellie's tattoo and it's meaning for her have nothing to do with sexual assault. This was about battling mental health struggles, self worth and finding her voice again. Her strength came from surviving herself and I think that’s incredibly powerful in its own right.
There was also another, quieter reason behind the tattoo, one that hits me right in the heart. My daughter has scars on her arm from a time when life felt too heavy for her. Scars from self harm that she’s lived with for a couple of years that have been a silent, constant reminder of pain. She told me she wanted to cover them with something meaningful. Something that would make her feel empowered instead of ashamed. The tattoo wasn’t just art, it was a way of reclaiming her body. Instead of hiding her scars she was transforming them into something powerful and beautiful. As a mum it’s hard to even write this without my throat tightening. We want to protect our kids from pain, from the world, from themselves and when we can’t, we carry that weight too. Seeing her take this step to turn her scars into a symbol of strength was something I never expected but deeply respect. She turned her story the hard and painful parts into something that reminds her every day that she’s still here.
I still don’t love tattoos. I’m a bit old school and the idea of something permanent like that on skin still makes me wince but I can see the beauty in this one and at the same time I’m proud. In a way prouder than if she’d chosen something I did approve of because this wasn’t a decision she made lightly. She researched it, thought about it, saved for it and she chose something personal, something that represents how far she’s come. Some of you know what Ellie’s been through these past few years and for those who don’t, trust me it has been a lot. There were days I wasn’t sure we’d get to this version of her, the strong, smiling, thriving young woman she has become but we did.
Now every time I see that Medusa on Ellie's arm I don’t see snakes or stone. I see survival, courage and I see my daughter, still my Ellie but standing tall and ready to take on the world! She’s not the same girl she once was. She’s stronger, bolder and more herself than ever and even though I didn’t approve of that tattoo at first I’m so, so glad she got it!
How do you feel about tattoos?
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