I didn’t approve of my daughter’s tattoo but I’m so glad she got it!

Just a little disclaimer, Ellie knows I have written this, called me a soft sod for getting all emotional in my writing and is happy for me to share this bit of her life. In fact she wanted me to share it to show how far she has came and how much she has changed. I think she also wanted it in writing that I don't absolutely hate tattoos. lol

If you’d told me a couple of years ago that my daughter, Ellie my 18 year old, my sweet 18 year old, still my baby Ellie would one day get a tattoo I probably would’ve laughed and said no, it's not happening, not on my watch. Tattoos were one of those things that made me twitchy, they're too permanent, too bold, too much. I always imagined my kids growing up and not walking around with pictures on their skin for life! So when Ellie told me she was getting a Medusa tattoo, I nearly spat out my tea. Medusa?! The woman with snakes for hair who could turn people to stone? I think I actually said why not a nice flower instead or a Disney character out of panic but once she explained why she’d chosen it my attitude started to shift.

I didn’t know much about Medusa beyond what I had learned in school. She was a monster with a head full of snakes and a bad temper but my daughter explained the deeper side of the story. Medusa wasn’t born a monster, she was a woman who was wronged, punished unfairly and transformed into a figure that people feared. Over time Medusa has become a symbol of female empowerment, strength and survival especially for women who’ve faced trauma or injustice. For many a Medusa tattoo represents the journey from victim to victor, the ability to overcome adversity and the courage to reclaim power after pain. She’s also seen as a protector: fierce, unapologetic and defiant. And for clarity, because people sometimes assume, Ellie's tattoo and it's meaning for her have nothing to do with sexual assault. This was about battling mental health struggles, self worth and finding her voice again. Her strength came from surviving herself and I think that’s incredibly powerful in its own right.

There was also another, quieter reason behind the tattoo, one that hits me right in the heart. My daughter has scars on her arm from a time when life felt too heavy for her. Scars from self harm that she’s lived with for a couple of years that have been a silent, constant reminder of pain. She told me she wanted to cover them with something meaningful. Something that would make her feel empowered instead of ashamed. The tattoo wasn’t just art, it was a way of reclaiming her body. Instead of hiding her scars she was transforming them into something powerful and beautiful. As a mum it’s hard to even write this without my throat tightening. We want to protect our kids from pain, from the world, from themselves and when we can’t, we carry that weight too. Seeing her take this step to turn her scars into a symbol of strength was something I never expected but deeply respect. She turned her story the hard and painful parts into something that reminds her every day that she’s still here.

I still don’t love tattoos. I’m a bit old school and the idea of something permanent like that on skin still makes me wince but I can see the beauty in this one and at the same time I’m proud. In a way prouder than if she’d chosen something I did approve of because this wasn’t a decision she made lightly. She researched it, thought about it, saved for it and she chose something personal, something that represents how far she’s come. Some of you know what Ellie’s been through these past few years and for those who don’t, trust me it has been a lot. There were days I wasn’t sure we’d get to this version of her, the strong, smiling, thriving young woman she has become but we did.

Now every time I see that Medusa on Ellie's arm I don’t see snakes or stone. I see survival, courage and I see my daughter, still my Ellie but standing tall and ready to take on the world! She’s not the same girl she once was. She’s stronger, bolder and more herself than ever and even though I didn’t approve of that tattoo at first I’m so, so glad she got it!

How do you feel about tattoos?

Our weekly meal plan! 19th - 25th January! #MealPlanningMonday

Last week was a really good one considering I had a cold. I am feeling much better now and it's a new week and I am raring to go! By now I am usually complaining about January lasting forever but to me, for once, it seems to be flying over and not dragging. I don't know if it's because I have kept myself busy, being kind to myself by resting when I didn't feel great but whatever it is, I feel like I'm enjoying January and the slow start to the year!

Last weeks meal plan went well. My favourite meal by far was the Marmite beef & onion pie. I keep saying I am not a fan of Marmite but when it comes as an ingredient in Gousto I always seem to enjoy whatever it goes into. The Panang curry was another hit. Peanut butter and coconut together is such a good combo and it felt indulgent without being too heavy. We also really enjoyed the homemade chips on Friday. There’s something about them that just feels like a treat and the Sausage and Red Onion Tart on Saturday was delicious too and the sort of meal that feels a bit fancy without being any effort at all.

This week is looking very quiet and I’m more than OK with that. I’ve got a few errands to run today with Stu and Becky has a full day at home tomorrow to catch up on bits she needs to do. Apart from that there’s not much in the diary. After feeling rough last week, I didn’t want to overdo it, so I deliberately kept things open.

On the menu this week we have:

Monday - Gousto Meal - Pepperoni Pizza Mac 'N' Cheese!

This one is very much for the rest of the family. They love mac and cheese in all its forms but I can happily take it or leave it. Cheesy pasta, mozzarella, little spicy bits of pepperoni and those tomatoey garlic and herb breadcrumbs on top sound pretty good, even to me.

Tuesday - Gousto Meal - Sticky Hoisin Sausage Traybake!

Traybakes are one of my favourite midweek dinners because you can just shove everything in the oven and get on with your life. This one is basically a fake away which always goes down well. Roasted sausages, potatoes and peppers coated in a sticky hoisin glaze, finished with a drizzle of sriracha mayo.

Wednesday - Gousto Meal - Classic Creamy Chicken Pie With Mash & Roast Carrots!

This is proper comfort food. Tender chicken, sweet leeks and creamy sauce wrapped in golden pastry. Served with mash because mash makes everything better and roasted carrots on the side.

Thursday - Pork stir fry!

I have pork strips in a Chinese-style marinade in the freezer, so I’ll fry them off, chuck in whatever veggies need using up, add some noodles and call it done. These kinds of meals are never exactly the same twice and that’s part of the fun.

Friday - Pizza!

I haven’t decided yet whether it’ll be homemade or straight from the freezer. It really depends on how the day goes and how much energy I have left at the end of it, as Fridays for me are always pretty busy.

Saturday - Gousto meal - Lemongrass & Sticky Onion Pork Burger With Warm Potato Salad!

This is a new recipe for us! Ciabatta filled with a pork and lemongrass burger, sticky soy onions and rocket for extra freshness. Served with a tangy slaw and buttery potatoes. I love trying new burger recipes at home, especially ones that feel a bit different from the usual.

Sunday - Breakfast for tea!

Sausages, bacon, eggs, hash browns, mushrooms, tomatoes, baked beans, black pudding and toast! Hopefully, Stu will be the one cooking!

What are you eating this week?

A photo every day for a year! 11th - 17th January! Week 3 of #Project365

This week has been a bit of a slow one but not in a bad way. I was hit with a cold. Ugh. I took things easy, didn’t push myself too much and somehow still managed to get a few jobs done around the house. I’m glad to say I’m just about over it now and so is the rest of the house. Phew! There’s nothing worse than illness doing the rounds but I suppose it's the time of the year for it.

Yesterday I pottered around the house, catching up on all the jobs I didn’t do during the week. Hoovering, laundry and a bit of cleaning. It was nothing exciting but I'm glad it was done. Today I don’t have much planned at all, which is exactly how I like my Sundays. Normally they might include a trip to our favourite pub for a Sunday carvery but that dream has ended! The pub closed on Friday as the owners have moved on to better things. It was nice while it lasted. Hmmf. I suppose I could start cooking a Sunday roast at home but I always feel far too lazy on a Sunday. I don’t want to be in the kitchen all day when it’s one of the only days we’re all home together.

Now for a photo every day!

11/365 - 11th January!

This was the definition of a lazy Sunday! I barely moved apart from toilet breaks and my family brought me food and drinks with me not feeling so great. I decided it was the perfect day for a Twilight movie marathon. The total running time is just over ten hours which sounds a lot but I started at half past nine in the morning and just stayed there. It filled the day nicely and took my mind off feeling rubbish. Oh and I was always team Jacob. hehehe

12/365 - 12th January!

Jelly Tots! Yum, yum! These are in my opinion, the best fruity jelly sweets going! I was enjoying them when I happened to look at the packet and noticed that one serving was apparently 11 sweets! They are tiny and who is out there counting out eleven Jelly Tots and thinking that's enough! I realised this little fun fact when I was on what I think was my third serving. Oops.

13/365 - 13th January!

I tidied and cleaned my dressing table. It was such a mess and I had make-up that was well past its best, so I had a good sort out too. Ellie claimed some bits that I didn't want and the rest was binned. I found a lipstick I remember buying when Ellie was a baby. She's 18 now. lol I don't think lipstick is supposed to last that long.

14/365 - 14th January!

Ellie felt betrayed by her fashion choices. She said she felt amazing in her outfit when she left the house but reality hit when she had to go to the toilet. Her outfit included a skirt with attached shorts, tights, a black bodysuit top that was a nightmare to open and close, a corset and a belt. Every trip to the loo was a 15 minute event. She said never again would she wear such a complicated outfit!

15/365 - 15th January!

It’s daffodil time! They’re not much to look at when they first arrive, all closed up and green but once they start opening they are such a cheerful flower! They always make it feel like spring isn’t that far away, even when it’s still cold and grey outside.

16/365 - 16th January!

Homemade chips are the best! Proper fried ones! We don't have them often so they seem like such a treat.

17/365 - 17th January!

Sometimes I have to pop something in the tumble dryer to dry that doesn't go under the mix and dry setting I use for most things and I can never remember what all the settings are for so I take a photo pop it into Chat GPT and it tells me all the settings. Very clever! It was the wool setting I wanted and up until yesterday I didn't know that was the wool sign.

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This week my Word of the Week is: Gentle!! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

On Sunday, in my Project 365 post I mentioned that I hadn’t been feeling great and had a bit of a cough. At the time I thought it'd pass, it’s probably nothing. Famous last words! By Monday morning that cough had decided it wasn’t leaving quietly and turned into a full-blown cold. Thankfully, this week turned out to be very gentle, which was exactly what I needed. I didn’t have much planned, which meant I could slow things down without feeling guilty. The cold itself wasn’t even that bad. No aching limbs, no headaches and no tiredness. It was mostly a blocked/snotty nose and a cough that refused to budge for a few days. The only real tiredness came from waking myself up during the night. Either for a drink of water or because my body suddenly decided it needed to sneeze right that second. It's not fun waking up mid-sneeze when you’re not prepared for it. Everything jolts at once and I actually thought I’d put my back out at one point. lol

My family knew I was under the weather so they really stepped up this week. Just doing lots of small, thoughtful things that made my days easier. Helping out more around the house, doing bits without being asked, helping with the cooking and just being a bit more patient with each other. When everyone pulls together like that everyone feels happier, not just me and the house runs more smoothly. I did think how nice it would be if this was normal all the time but I'm a realist. Once I’m back to normal we’ll probably drift back into our usual ways. It was nice while it lasted.

Even though I wasn’t feeling great I still managed to tick quite a few things off my to-do list. I didn’t go into this week with big expectations. My goal was simply to get through the days without feeling worse and anything else was a bonus and because of that, every little job I managed felt like an achievement. I did more decluttering in mine and Stu’s bedroom and I also managed to keep on top of the clean washing. The longest it stayed on the dining room table was a few hours, which is a miracle in this house.

This week also had me thinking about Stu and his work situation again. If you’ve been reading here for a while, you might remember last year when he was really disheartened at work. He was close to walking out more than once and even started applying for other jobs. He had interviews and got offers but none of them felt right for him or for us as a family, so he turned them down. In the end, he stayed in the job he hated but he wasn't quiet about it. He told his managers some home truths about what he would and wouldn’t do in his role. I think he reached a point where he had nothing to lose and they took it quite well. Instead of pushing back, they listened, they even seemed to respect him for standing his ground. Since then, things have changed so much. They still mention targets but there’s no pressure. If he feels selling something to someone isn’t right, he doesn’t do it and doesn’t get pulled up for it either. They don’t chase him about compulsory overtime now either and it has really changed his mood about work. I wouldn't say he is happy but he is less frustrated with it.

Looking back over the week, gentle really does fit perfectly. Gentle on my body while I wasn’t feeling great, gentle expectations of myself, gentle support from my family and even the work worries that used to feel so big and take up so much space in my head feel gentler now. I’m hoping the cold fully clears off soon and that I can carry a bit of this gentler pace into the next week too.

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay to join in with her Word of the Week linky!