There are lots of things about gardening that I nod along to, smile about and pretend to understand. I love gardening, I really do. I like getting my hands dirty, buying plants with lots of hope and then watching to see what survives but there is so much that I don't understand. Today I thought I’d share the things I pretend I understand about gardening.
Soil types!
Clay, loam, sandy, chalky. People say these words with confidence, like they were born knowing what’s under their lawn. Me, I dig a hole and think, yep, that’s dirt! Apparently, soil type affects drainage, nutrients and plant happiness. I get the idea but when someone says, "This won’t do well in a certain soil," I nod like I’ve tested mine in a lab rather than poked it with a spade and shrugged.
Pruning!
Pruning is one of those gardening skills that sounds very serious. There are rules, seasons, angles and words like "node" and "deadheading" get thrown around and I smile politely. In reality, my pruning style is best described as chopping it and seeing what happens. If it looks messy, it gets cut, if it’s poking me in the eye, it definitely gets cut and if it hasn’t done anything exciting for months, snip. I know you’re meant to prune at the right time, or you risk ruining next year’s flowers. I pretend I know when that is but half the time I’m stood there with secateurs thinking this feels like the right moment. Sometimes it works and sometimes the plant dies and I pretend that was part of the plan.
Annuals vs Perennials!
I always think I know the difference between annuals and perennials. Then spring rolls around and I’m standing in the garden centre thinking, will this come back next year or am I committing to buying this again? Annuals are for one season, gone forever and perennials come back every year. Simple! Then every single year I forget!
Feeding plants!
Plants need food. That makes sense but the advice around feeding is wild. Feed weekly, feed monthly, don’t overfeed but also don’t forget. There's liquid feed, slow release and tomato feed for everything. I pretend I have a system. I do not! What I actually have is a vague memory that I fed something recently and a fear that I might burn the roots if I do it again. Sometimes I stand there holding a bottle of feed thinking you look hungry, which is probably not how it works. Other times I forget completely and then panic feed everything at once!
Latin plant names!
I love plants, I love flowers and I love a walk around the garden centre, but the Latin names are not for me. I admire people who casually drop them into conversation. "Oh yes, my Lavandula angustifolia is doing well." All while I am saying things like I like, the purple smelly one! I pretend I recognise the names when reading labels but really I’m scanning for pictures and the words “easy care. If a plant needs me to remember a complicated name and keep it alive, that’s asking a lot.
Companion planting!
Companion planting is fascinating. Did you know that some plants help others grow, some keep pests away and some don’t get along? It’s all the garden friendship drama! I love the idea of planting things strategically so they support each other. I pretend I understand which plants should be neighbours but in reality, I just plant things where there’s space and hope they sort it out themselves.
Knowing when something is established!
People say things like "Once it’s established, it’ll be fine." When is that exactly? A week, a month, a year? I pretend I know when a plant has crossed the line into being self-sufficient. What actually happens is I either water it forever out of fear or forget about it entirely because it looked okay last time. Sometimes a plant survives despite me and other times it clearly needs more attention and I apologise to it quietly while pulling it out.
Garden tools!
There are so many tools. Apparently, each one has a specific purpose and makes life easier. I pretend I know which one to use when. Half the time, I grab whatever is closest and make it work. I own tools I’ve used once and tools I use for everything they were never designed for. I only found out a little while ago that there is a difference between a spade and a shovel!
Pests and beneficial insects!
I know we’re meant to welcome certain insects into the garden. They’re helpful, they keep things balanced and I get it and I support it from a distance. When someone points out the benefits of insects, I pretend I know what they're on about but in my head I think, as long as you’re not eating everything, we’re fine! Me and slugs are not friends. I’ve tried to be calm and nature loving about it but when they eat something I’ve been proud of, I am ready to fight!
Gardening for me is less about knowing everything and more about just having a go. I pretend I understand a lot because that’s half the fun. I learn as I go, make mistakes and laugh at myself a lot.
What don't you understand about gardening?
So true! I don't understand most of that either. My hubby is the gardener here and he talks about some of that. I just listen and enjoy the results!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this!! Regarding soil, when I read that a plant "prefers" a type of soil, I tell myself that I "prefer" to eat brownies for dinner but I generally do not do that. Whatever my plants "prefer" they are getting what they're getting soil wise!! I was going to do something about companion gardening- I even bought the correct companion seeds... and promptly didn't plant them. UGH! I've been reading A LOT about gardening and know that I know a lot more than when I started but I'm still mostly flying by the seat of my pants! Enjoyed this post!
ReplyDeleteSo very true. It is a work in progress right? Hope you post some tips :)
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile! I wish I loved to garden, but I just don't. I am so good at fake plants, though. Ha! I am with you on not understanding all of this jargon!
ReplyDeleteI don't get it, and really don't want to get it! LOL I am not a plant person AT ALL. I appreciate the beauty, I appreciate the garden's bounty, but it doesn't happen if I'm involved. That's all I have to say about that! xo
ReplyDeletePretty much all of this! While I love having pretty flowers around I really understand very little about gardening so I always joke that my garden is more "survival of the fittest." When something doesn't do so great I tend to just uproot it and put something else in its place and see if the second plant does better.
ReplyDeleteThis is so me too. I never learned anything from my parents, they grew tomatoes and had some hyacinths in their garden, but my little brother was deathly allergic to bees, so they cut down the roses and lilacs to keep the bees away. My mother used to say that flowers were pretty but you couldn't eat them, so she wouldn't waste her time with them, that's because she knew nothing about growing them, ha. I know nothing either. I can grow zinnias from seeds, and I can buy flowers from the Mennonite greenhouse and replant them in pots on my deck, and sometimes keep them alive until fall. It's a guessing game, hit or miss. I like when they have the instructions on the little poky thing in the pot:). I remember years ago my mother-in-law pointing out at her yard, saying how pretty the such-and-such flowers were, and I just nodded, had no idea which ones those were.
ReplyDeleteI certainly don't know scientific names for plants. I understand sort of the naming process but I go by the often cute names people have given plants. I know there are different types of soil but I'm not someone out testing PH levels. South Florida doesn't really have soil per se. Much of the wetland have been filled with soil and filler to make spaces to build. Central Florida has sandy "soil". I know you start running to red dirt in Alabama and Georgia which turns into clay in Tennessee. That is just from experience in those areas.
ReplyDeleteYes, all of these! I mostly know if the plant is poisonous or not, and rest of the gardening is all done by intuition and experience.
ReplyDelete-Soma
I am so not into gardening lol. It's too complicated!
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed gardening for years, but I'm still learning new things all the time. I think that's one of the fun things about gardening, there's always something new to discover, no matter how long you've been doing it. xx
ReplyDeletehahaha! You are just like me. I had a bash at planting some pots last year and I have no idea now which ones are plants and will flower again, and which ones have just been taken over with lovely green weeds! I do recognise my rose bush though, and it has flowers :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun read, Kim! I have to admit that I defer to my husband when it comes to gardening! He is the expert in our family and I'm grateful that he has a wonderful green thumb!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh because I was nodding along to so much of it. I want to be a plant lady, truly I do, but I can't remember any of the things I'm supposed to! Especially the pruning part... I just prune as I see fit and thankfully I haven't ever killed anything. Haha.
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