Summer now feels so different than it did just a few years ago when my girls were little. It’s not the same whirlwind of packed days, endless outdoor games and the constant chorus of Mam, I’m bored!. Now with the girls aged 22 and 17 summer has shifted into something quieter, slower but somehow more fun and memorable!
Don’t get me wrong it’s not quiet in the way you might imagine. There’s still plenty of noise and laughter bouncing around the house but it’s a different kind of noise. Instead of the boisterous playdates and sticky fingers it’s music spilling from bedrooms, conversations with friends on the phone and shouting at screens when they are playing online games.
Both girls have their own lives now. Becky has been working full time for quite a few years. She works night shifts, has a partner and a social life that keeps her busy. She’s not at home every day like she was in her teens but when she is I really enjoy the time with her even if we are not really up to much. Like the day I wrote this, we had a lazy morning. I pottered around the house tidying up and doing some washing, we had lunch together, made a delicious iced coffee each and caught on Hollyoaks! Ellie is still in college although she's on her summer break now. She has her own friendships, her first serious relationship and she’s starting to create her own summer traditions too. It’s brilliant watching them both in this stage so independent, yet still part of our family!
Mornings in summer are no longer a rush to get everyone dressed, packed and out the door for a day at the park or play date. Instead there’s a gentler pace. I often find myself making a drink and enjoying it in peace looking out over the garden. Sometimes they’re off to meet friends or my Becky is making her way to bed just as I am starting my day. The house feels different but not in a bad way.
The afternoons are when the magic really happens. Sometimes, it’s a solo kind of magic. I’ll find a quiet hour to blog and other times we're together doing or own thing or we’ll all decide to watch a film together, have a walk out to my dad's or even venture into town for a look around the shops. It’s no longer about squeezing every minute out of the day with packed activities it’s about sharing those moments that just happen naturally.
What I love most is how those moments often surprise me. Becky sometimes invites me to go out somewhere with her partner or my youngest who invited me to the cinema to tag along with her and her boyfriend. I hesitated for a second it felt like stepping into their world rather than mine but then I said yes. We had a great time. Those little invitations make me feel connected in a way I didn’t quite expect. It’s lovely to be included even if their lives are their own now.
Evenings have become my favourite part of summer especially when the day cools down and the house fills with the smells of tea cooking and Stu gets in from work. That hour on an evening makes me feel happy. There’s laughter, teasing and conversation.
Watching my girls grow into such thoughtful, independent young women who still want to spend time with me is one of the greatest joys of my life. There’s a pride in seeing how they’ve developed their own interests, their own social lives but also comfort in knowing that no matter how busy or far flung their lives get this family bond remains a place they come back to.
Summer now is different. It’s less hectic but still so full. It has changed but for the better.
How is your summer looking now?
Oh everything you wrote resonated with me!! My girls are 22 and 19 so similar ages/stages of life. My girls will both be leaving soon so this summer has been extra poignant for me and I've been trying to soak in the little moments- walks together, playing games, eating dinner together, etc. It sounds like your girls are lovely young women who enjoy spending time with you- what more can a mama ask for at this stage in their lives??
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post, Kim, getting to know you better through your thoughts and feelings here. My "boys" were 16 and 20 when I entered their lives as their step-mom. They are in their 50s/60s now!! Much different experiences from yours. I have grandkids older than your two! I love how close you all seem and when they invite you... keep saying yes!! xo
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post, Kim. It sounds like you are raising two amazing girls who are kind, well-rounded, and just plain awesome! While I miss the "little" stage, it's also been so much fun watching our kiddos grow into the adults they'll eventually become, and I honestly love each stage better than the last! They are so much fun the older they get!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds very much like our summers right now too! I try really hard to say yes anytime I asked to tag along or invited out by any of my boys. I figure that won't last forever.
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