Did you know it is World Breastfeeding Week this week....I didn't until the other day....I am not breastfeeding so things like this usually pass me by but I have read a couple of other blogs about it and thought I would share my breastfeeding experiences....
I had Becky by elective caesarean section nearly 13 years ago.....I don't know if it was the hospitals policy or the done thing back then but after having her I was told to stay laying flat for 12 hours at least....She started crying and as a first time mother I didn't really know what to do....You read all the books and look online but it is so different when you actually have a baby.....
I had decided to give breastfeeding a try and when it came to giving Becky her first feed the midwife, nurse or whoever it was just laid her down next to me and left me to it.....I asked for help and they said someone would be along soon.....My mam arrived and tried to help but it was hard trying to feed her for the first time layed down....I don't know if the help came and saw my mam trying to help or just didn't.....I was finally allowed to sit up late Tuesday night and a little help was given to me....Well if you could call it that....I had a 5 minute guide to breast feeding before the nurse left me to it....I was scared and afraid to ask for more help....When I did I was made to feel I was asking for too much and made to feel like I was wasting their time.....
I had Becky on the Tuesday and was still struggling by Thursday not really knowing if I was doing it right....They said I could go home Thursday morning but then somebody else had butted in and said Becky wasn't feeding properly so I would have to stay another night and someone real would be along to give me some help.....
The someone came and did help....A breastfeeding support worker?.....She was the first person who gave me the time of day and actually helped....It's a shame she couldn't have seen me the day Becky was born.....There was a corner turned and I felt positive about breastfeeding for the first time....
I went home from hospital on the Friday and Becky wanted feeding every hour or so....I would have probably been fine with that but I soon found out I didn't have the support from anyone at home....The person who was supposed to support me was "too tired".....I was feeding Becky and asked for a drink or something....I can't remember exactly what it was....It would mean me getting up and stopping the feed....It was just too much for him....I was told it wasn't on....He needed his sleep....
From the night before I had Becky until Saturday morning I hadn't had more than an hours unbroken sleep.....With no support I just couldn't continue....The midwife came out on one of her visits and saw I was struggling.....She said I had tried and I wasn't a failure if I put Becky onto bottles....I sure felt like one but as soon as Becky had her first bottle and then slept for a couple of hours I knew I had made the right decision....
When I fell pregnant with Ellie I was determined that I was bottle feeding her....The thought of breastfeeding filled me with dread.....When Ellie was born and I was sat up within minutes of coming out of the operating theater.....I gave her, her first bottle within about half an hour of her being born.....I was so relaxed. It was a whole different birth experience and first few days compared to with Becky.....
I did think to myself that as Stu was such a great support I probably could have breastfed Ellie.....I had the support unlike with Becky.....
Maybe if I had of had the support on the day Becky was born and the couple of days after things would have been different.....Maybe if the person in my life at the time had have been supportive things may have been different.....Maybe if I had not let my experiences with Becky put me off breastfeeding Ellie things may have been different....
But do you know what.....I don't care! They were fed!
Surely that's all that matters.....
I think the support offered when you start to breastfeed has come on a long way since I had Becky which is a fantastic thing.....I wouldn't want anyone to feel like I did in the first few days of Becky's life....If I did have another child I would give breastfeeding another go....
It sounds really similar to what happened to me with Seb. Some areas have great breastfeeding support and others seem to fall so far short. When I had Alex, ye lost a lot of weight, I had midwives coming every day (never the same one) and not one of them asked to see me feed him so again I switched to formula. It is such a shame the proper support isn't there for those who want to breastfeed.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame there isn't enough support.....It seems things are better now than when I tried 12 years ago. x
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with breastfeeding. Having the right support from the hospital and at home is a big part of breastfeeding successfully, in my opinion. I was encouraged not to breastfeed many times but persevered. I feel lucky that I had my Mum to encourage me to keep going and I had one amazing midwife that I saw regularly to help too. My, now ex, partner was as useless as yours. He couldn't do much else but sleep and play on the X-Box. He was able to put a pizza in the oven for himself once a week though! It is good to know that breastfeeding support is more readily available now though.
ReplyDeleteAhh! That's great you had so much support! Fantastic to hear x
DeleteIt is still very hit and miss unfortunately. Sad that you didn't really get the opportunity though - but like you said they were both healthy and fed and that is the main thing.
ReplyDeleteYep! They were fed....That's all that really matters...
Deletei had bad experience with my first as had a rough birth and had no support gave it up within 4 months and was topping up with bottle as well. just had another child and have managed over 6 months now and going strong but have friend who support me and now looking to see if i can train to become a breast feeding support worker or something similar.
ReplyDeleteThat is fantastic....Even with the shaky start you have done so well!
DeleteGood luck with being a breast feeding support worker x
It's such a shame you didn't get the support to help you the first time round, but you did the right thing. Feeding is such a small part of the journey in the grand scheme of things, the important thing is that they are fed in the end
ReplyDeleteSo very true! Thank you x
DeleteI had a similar experience to you but the hospital said that I was not giving enough milk and they provided milk although there was a considerable amount of pressure from the nurses to breastfeed! All you need to do is to do the best for you and the baby x
ReplyDeleteYou are so right....Thank you x
DeleteI think they put so much pressure on you to breast feed but they don't give you the support you need. With Ethan my milk didn't come in, he really didn't cry for food to make it come in. I was feeding him all day and I was also given the wrong information. We were told that you could do a mix of bottle and breast but Ethan held out for the bottles feeds at night that his dad was giving him, I was very ill. I now also know that he didn't really cry for food because of his autism. When I told the midwife my milk wasn't coming in she told me not to be silly, I was just being lazy! With Little E we already knew it was going to be bottle for us. I did breast feed at hospital but I got ill and didn't want to make her ill so stopped even though we were doing OK. Getting food in them is the most important thing, no matter how x
ReplyDeleteOh dear! It really doesn't help when the wrong information is given!!
DeleteSorry you were not well but yes getting food into them is all that matters x
I am really sorry to hear that you had a negative experience breastfeeding it is so hard in those early days and I couldn't have done it without the support of my husband - it I hadn't had his support I can honestly say I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed. I think that support is great in some places and not so great in others in terms of breastfeeding and I really believe that if a woman wants to breastfeed she should have support available to her - but equally if she wants to bottle feed or combination feed she should have support available to her. We are so lucky that we have two good choices for feeding our babies, clean water and the means to sterilize bottles etc. Thanks for sharing your experiences
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is interesting to hear everyone's experiences....
DeleteIt is fantastic you had the support x