Parenting! #spreadalittlehappiness

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinhouse 

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. - Leo Burke

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P. J. O'Rourke

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. - Joyce Armor

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids
 

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says "keep away from children. - Susan Savannah

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson

Children seldom misquote. They always say word for word what you shouldn't have said. Unknown

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ― Erma Bombeck

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. - Theresa Bloomingdale

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble. - Dennis Fakes

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones