Wednesday 27 September 2017

It's not ADHD but maybe some sort of Autism....

Just before the summer holidays her teacher mentioned that Ellie is struggling in school. She lacks concentration and focus and has to be prompted a lot to complete her work....Her teacher suspected something like ADHD.

We got an appointment through during the summer holidays but as the school nurses only work term time we had to wait until last week to be seen....

On Wednesday Stu, Ellie and myself went off to the hospital where they are based and had a chat with a lovely lady....It was the same lady we saw a couple of years ago about Ellie wetting her self.....She read through the notes and remembers Ellie as she had seen her in school. It made me feel a bit easier about the experience....

Instead of asking us the questions about Ellie she asked Ellie them which was good in one way because she was getting a feel for what Ellie is like, what she likes and dislikes straight from her mouth but at the same time there were some awkward questions which Ellie didn't want to answer like "do you get angry?, what do you do when you get angry?, why do you always want to eat the same foods?. That sort of thing. I think Ellie thought she was going to get into trouble. We did explain she wouldn't and the lady did but I think I would feel the same way if someone was asking me personal and probing questions......

We talked about how Ellie still wets herself (not as much as she used to) and the school nurse thinks everything is connected.....

Ellie went back to play with the toys and the school nurse said there is something there. Something is not quite right with her. That sounds awful to say but it's the easiest way to say what I mean. It is maybe some sort of Autism.....The school nurse and so many other people since have told me that the signs are so hard to spot in girls. They seem to hide it well. 

They would send someone into school. Another team member who Ellie doesn't recognise to observe her in the classroom and refer us to other people for help.

On Friday I got a phone call from the school nurse. They had been in to watch her at school and what they told me upset me. 

The school nurse said yes she's very distracted in class...She's in her own little world sometimes just staring into space with a blank expression. She does work but needs prompting a lot. She's not confident, not understanding when the teacher is cracking a joke and she doesn't talk to anyone unless they talk to her first and then sometimes it's just a nod of the head.....It really knocked me to hear how sad my girl seems at school but deep down I know she loves school. She comes out smiling and talks about what she has done most days so I'm not too worried. We have been referred to people to look into things more....

When I picked her up on Friday I had a quick chat with her teacher who said she doesn't really talk in class but in the playground she will and plays with other children....Phew! On the way home from school I asked Ellie if she chats to people in class and she said no, she likes to get on with her work which I suppose is fair enough.....I will be mentioning that to the people we see next....Maybe she does like to focus on her work and then loses concentration instead of

Ellie did mention there was someone in her classroom watching the kids. She thinks it is something to do with puberty because it was the same woman who came into school and did the puberty chat with the class in year 5. She might not be able for focus on her school work but she never forgets a face. lol

After waiting about 8 weeks to actually get the first appointment I didn't expect things to move so quickly....It's fantastic that so many people are there to help my girl. 

If she has Autism, ASD or whatever. (I have stopped Googling things. I was starting to drive myself mad) Whatever she has it won't change her. She is still my girl, my little chicken.....

I hope Jeannette from Autism Mumma doesn't mind me quoting her but she said to me "Any "label" won't change your relationship but it may mean that she gets support as and when needed.....

She is exactly right....A label won't change anything. Ellie is already labeled as the deaf kid and the kid with the dodgy heart another lable won't change her but it will help her.


  1. A horrible disturbing time for everyone involved , ive a family full of Aspergers and autism and its hard work , but they grow up and the vast majority flourish. they just take a while longer to get there .

  2. That's good that they're taking it seriously, and making sure they're assessing Ellie properly. Hopefully she'll be able to get any support she needs quickly

  3. I feel the emotions while reading this post. I really dont know what to say but I hope you get the result soon. My fave part is that no matter what, Ellie will be your Ellie. As a daughter and as a mother this warms my heart. No matter what happened to us and no matter what we do our family is there accepting us for what we are. Thanks for sharing such honest post.

  4. It's such a difficult time, but you are lucky because Ellie is getting the help she needs. Whatever the label they want to put on her she won't change, she's still be your little girl. sending many hugs at this difficult time. xxx

  5. We are going through similar with Sophia, she is just four and has just started school. She got checked for autism when she was 3 and they said she didn't have it but now she is getting checked for other things as she loses concentration too. I hope you get some answers soon xx

  6. Ah Kim as you said she will always be Ellie, and I am glad that she will be getting the help she needs. Sending lots of love to you all xx

  7. Jeanette is right, whatever label they give Ellie won't change her in any way and she'll still be your little girl, but in order to get her the help and support she needs, they have to look at the *worst* things (for want of a better word) it's never a pleasant experience no matter how many times you go through it, but it is the only way to get things done. Once she has the support she'll thrive and this will all be worth it. Sending hugs xx