Tuesday 21 April 2020

I don't care what my girls are as long as they're happy.

I had planned on not posting this until all the coronavirus craziness is over but I have a couple of posts which relate to Becky and being in lock down. Those posts make sense to come after this one. Becky has given my permission to write and publish this blog post.

I have always said to myself and everyone who would listen that I don't care what my girls are straight, bi-sexual, gay, whatever. It doesn't matter as long as they are happy. In the back of my mind I just assumed my girls would be straight. Both of them have had boyfriends. Becky has had a few and Ellie more than I can count. lol

When Becky was in her last couple of years at secondary school she would laugh at all of her friends and people in her year because I'd say way more than half were saying they were bi-sexual. Even she said it just seemed to be the latest bandwagon to jump on. 

Now Becky is at college and she has a girlfriend, in fact she has had 3 since September. 

Shortly after Becky started college she started asking if Stu and I would be bothered if she had a girlfriend, obviously we weren't. We said whatever makes you happy. We thought it was just one of those hypothetical things which came up in conversation like what would you do if I got pregnant now or what would you say if I said I was moving out. Then one day she came home and sat us down and said she had something to tell us. I obviously panicked and thought it was something bad but all that she had to tell us was that she had a girlfriend. When you are expecting the worst her saying she has a girlfriend it is nothing at all!!

I don't know why she was so worried to tell us but I guess it's one of those things that you don't know how someone will take something until the time comes. All I wanted to know was what the girlfriend was called so I could have a look on Facebook at her. lol

Becky was seeing her first girlfriend for couple of months. They broke up because her parents didn't know that she was seeing girls and when they found out they were not happy. Becky and her got back together the week before the her birthday. Becky didn't get her a birthday present because she wanted to see where things were going and just got her a card which she was not too happy with so Becky was dumped. 

It then gets complicated. The old girlfriend of Becky's got a new girlfriend but things didn't work out between them and the old girlfriend was dumped by her new girlfriend who then got with Becky. Becky was seeing the new girlfriend, the ex of her ex. It turns out that Becky's new girlfriend was a bit of a "player" and she was snogging boys on the weekend when Becky wasn't with her so Becky dumped her. There isn't a problem with someone seeing both males and females, just not at the same time when you're in a relationship with someone else. Don't be a cheater!

Before Christmas I told Becky to chill out a bit with the girlfriends. She took that as to mean that I didn't want her seeing girls. We had a long discussion about it and I got my point across that I would have said the same if it was boys. She needed to have a break and stop jumping from one relationship to another. Yes it's fun but she's never going to meet the love of her life like that.

Since just after Christmas Becky has been seeing someone new and it seems to be going well. This one is a lovely lass who doesn't cheat and she cares about Becky. The girlfriend was keen to meet Stu and I. I think it was just to reassure herself that we were cool with Becky having a girlfriend. She's been here quite a few times and I like her. If they were still at school the girlfriend would have been a year above her but there is actually only 3 months age difference between them both.

Becky and I have talked about the future and she said she still fancies boys but gets on better with girls. She said there's no rush to settle down and in the future it could be with man but at the moment she is happy with "A". She has said that she still wants children and she told me how it was possible even if she was with a woman, like I didn't know. lol

Most people in Becky's life know that she has a girlfriend. There is just my dad who doesn't know. He's 70 odd year old and I wouldn't say he's homophobic but he is of the generation which thinks that men should not be with men and women should not be with women. If he met a gay couple in the street he wouldn't treat them any differently but when he walks away would say it isn't right. I think that is so wrong and I have told him so, his partner has told him so and just about everyone one who he knows has. He's set in his ways and until Becky knows for sure who she wants to spend the rest of her life with there's no reason to rock the boat. I know it's the wrong thing to do morally but it's still early days yet. It does make me feel better that Becky's girlfriend is in the same situation with her nanna. 

I keep saying it. My girls can be whatever they want to be. If it makes them happy, I am happy with that!

If I have said anything that comes across offensively to the LGBT community please let me know. I don't mean it to be but this is all new to me and my family.


  1. Be happy is all anyone can wish them , ive a son who has had both girlfriends and boyfriends . Now hes in his mid twenties hes just settled on having friends , cant be bothered with the relationship side of things ..lol im sure someone will come along to change his mind someday , but it does seem pretty irrelevant as to which gender these days

  2. Becky is so lucky to have understanding parents like you and Stu. I have a friend who waited years to tell her parents that she was attracted to girls, she was so worried about their response. They were shocked but supportive and now she is happily married to a lovely lady.

    It sounds like Becky's new girlfriend is lovely and makes her happy - like you say, having happy children is the most important thing :o)


  3. I love this post so much! You have the same opinion as m , as long as they are happy in love, it doesn't matter who with. I hope Becky continues to be happy in her life, wherever it takes her x

  4. I'm totally the same with my children, I just want them to be with someone who makes them happy :)

  5. Happiness is the most important thing. She's lucky to have you.

  6. You sound a supportive and accepting mum and that is all you ask for really X

  7. I totally agree with this sentiment. Whatever and whoever my little girl chooses to be. As long as she is happy I don't really care!

  8. I totally agree! As long as Becky is happy then that's all that matters. I have to say, my dad is exactly the same as yours, I don't agree with my dad's way of thinking either, but I suppose we are all entitled to our own opinions. x :)

  9. You are such great parents I love how you have dealt with it, Becky is so lucky to have you, I hope your Dad will be ok, he may well surprise you, but am so glad Becky can be who she wants to be x