Tuesday 28 May 2024

When does the worry end?

Last year I wrote a blog post "Preconceptions about Parenting", it was all about the big ideas I had before I was a parent. How my girls wouldn't have a dummy, have limited screen time and so on. There was one thing I never mentioned, before I was a parent I thought when my girls hit certain milestones I thought I wouldn't worry as much. Well that hasn't happened yet!

My girls and I

Being pregnant I worried that I would miscarry, I had a miscarriage before I had Becky so that played on my mind. When the girls were little I worried a lot about them. They both had the the holes in their heart and open heart surgery, Ellie was practically deaf in one ear, they both had issues at school and lots of things inbetween.

I always thought now that they are older and are pretty settled in their lives I would worry less. Oh how naive was I. I think I worry more now than ever, just not about the things that I worried about when they were little.

Becky loves having a night away, not just at a friends house, I am fine with that but she has started going to concerts and club nights where she will stay at a hotel instead of paying for a taxi home. It does work out cheaper. A couple of weekends ago I couldn't sleep until I knew she was back in the hotel room after being to a club night. She text me at almost 3am. I don't even think it's her actions which worry me, she is a sensible lass, she doesn't drink that much and is like me and doesn't like talking to strangers. It's other people who worry me. People who could spike her drink, pinch her phone or wallet, beat her up or even worse. I often think that it was so much easier when she was little and I could control where she went. 

When my girls were little I knew all of their friends but now I would say I don't even know half. Ellie comes home from college and says so and so said this and I have to say who's that? I love that Ellie has made a ton of friends at college but they do worry me. She is doing electrical engineering and there is her and one other girl in her class of about 25 young adults. The only female friends that Ellie has are girlfriends of her male friends and she has said they're not real friends. Teenage boys scare me.

My biggest worry with Ellie at the moment is that she would rather walk into town and catch the bus instead of getting the college bus from college. Our town isn't the nicest and again it's other people which worry me. Thankfully at least the evenings are light now so there is less chance of her getting into trouble but it doesn't stop me worrying until she is home.

I have been lucky with my girls, they are on the whole good girls, they don't go looking for trouble and thankfully stay out of drama. A few weeks ago Becky and her friend took themselves out of a situation which could have caused a lot of trouble for them (I can't say anything to protect other people) but I am so proud of them. They saw things were heading in the wrong direction and took themselves home for a cup of tea.

I have thought I will worry less when the girls leave home but then I thought I will still be worrying about them feeding themselves, paying their bills and things like that. Maybe when they have been left home for about 10 years I might worry less. lol

When does the worry end?


  1. I think it's wonderful that you care so much about your daughters. It looks like they are taking the right decisions, but it is normal for them to want to go out and so on, which comes with risks.
    You are proud of them and you should be, they are really great.

  2. I don't think the worry ends! My boys are all grown up and one moved out 5 years ago but there is always something. The younger one went to Japan and I worried every day. The older one has some health issues (nothing terrible) but I worry about that too. I'm happy to hear that your girls are sensible and level headed which is fantastic. It's because they have such a wonderful mum!

  3. I don't think the worry ever ends! I am most worried when the kids are driving big distances on the highway and of course, right now when my daughter is travelling in Europe!

  4. I don't think we ever stop worrying. I always tried to be relatively calm and not insist on my boys checking in all the time, but since losing my youngest son, I admit I have become somewhat neurotic. I guess it's natural :(