Thursday 13 April 2023

Preconceptions about Parenting.

Before I was a parent I had big ideas about the type of parent I would be. Oh how it makes me laugh now. I was going to be the perfect mother with the perfect children. It's funny the ideas we have before we actually have children. You don't realise how hard being a parent is until you are one! 

Me and my girls when they were little

I always said My kids will never throw tantrums in public. hahaha. Ellie was my star tantrum thrower. I remember an epic one when we were shopping in Iceland and she laid on the floor screaming. I walked away and she would scream louder. It's not like she wanted something like sweets, she just didn't want to be shopping. I ended up dragging her by the hood of her coat on the polished floor and she thought it was the best thing ever! 

I always said that I’ll read to them every night. I did for years and then they got TV's in their rooms and the books fell by the wayside. Thankfully over the years the TV's have sometimes stayed off and they read for themselves.

I always said I would never say “because I said so. I think that is my biggest excuse for anything when I don't really have a reason. lol

I always said screen time would be limited and I did to start with. Tablets and smart phones weren't a big thing when Becky was little so all she had was the TV and it was on for most of the day and she didn't fixate on it until it came to bedtime and then she needed to watch. lol As they got older my girls probably did have too much screen time but I don't think it did them any harm. They spend more time away from screens now than looking at them.

Screen time

I always said I won’t give in to pester power. It is so easy to say that but when your child is asking for a biscuit for the 88th time in an hour sometimes it is easier to say yes! The other week I said to Ellie she wasn't playing out with her friends but she pestered me and was out within an hour just so I could have some peace.

I always said I won’t shout at my child. hahaha Of course I didn't when they were little but since then I think I have every day. Now they're teenagers asking nicely doesn't always work.

I always said my kids will never sleep in my bed. They didn't when they were babies but when they older and were poorly they did and Stu was kicked out of our bed and he slept either in their bed or on the sofa. When Ellie was about 5 or 6 she had a real issue with going to sleep in her own bed and ended up on a night going upstairs and falling asleep in Stu's and my bed by herself and then Stu would carry her to her bed when either of us went to bed. It wasn't a big issue.

I always said that my children wouldn't have a dummy. That lasted about 3 days. Becky had one and Ellie had one. I think Ellie was more attached to hers than Becky ever was and it was a struggle to stop her using it. The dummy fairy came one day and took all the dummies and she accepted it. Phew!

My youngest with a dummy

I always said that I would never bribe my children. As soon as they understood what I was offering in exchange for them doing something I bribed them. Tidy your room and you can have that ice lolly, finish your homework and then you can have a biscuit and now bring the washing in and then you can go out with friends.

I always said that my kids will have good manners at all times. I do try but they still don't now. Sometimes I have to still remind them to say thank you for things. 

I always said that my kids will be presentable at all times. They were when they were babies and I could dress them but since then, not so much. Some days now I say to them, are you going out dressed like that?

I always said that I will never boast about my kids. hahaha I have a blog now so of course I do! Social media has made it so much easier to boast.

I always said that parenting isn’t as hard as people say. I say try it and find out for yourself. Sometimes I feel like I am just winging it.

How do you feel? Before you had kids did you say things you weren't going to do and then do them?


  1. We were never ever going to take our kids to Mc Donalds ....hahaha! We always have expectations but having a child changes everything.

  2. Haha! I had big plans to be the perfect parent too!! Funny how things work out and the things we do and say just to survive those moments when our kids are being less than perfect!

  3. Haha! Brilliant. There are so many things I said I wouldn't do and then it all went pair shaped after having the kids.
    I remember my two having dummies. I got through so many of the things.
    It's funny when you look back isn't it?! We wing our way through it though hehe. xx