Thursday 22 September 2022

7 ways to boost your confidence.

The older I get it seems that I have less confidence in myself. I know I should be a confident person, I am happy in my body, with my family and in my life but sometimes I need reminding that I am just as good as everyone else and I am all that! I think it's because I am at a new part of life. My girls are pretty independent. Becky is 20 years old and Ellie is 15 years old and don't need me as much as they did. It is taking some getting used to.

Believe in yourself.

Here are some ideas on how you can boost your confidence.

1. You are still you!
Take some time to visualise yourself before you started losing confidence, the individual who exuded confidence in every occasion, who was completely at ease with entertaining friends or the person who would happily chat with everyone! Trust that you are still that person, despite how you might feel right now.

Now picture a time when you were at your most secure and comfortable. What kind of setting were you in? Who or what were you? With whom were you? Try to pinpoint the elements that led to the sense of empowerment and see if you can duplicate them. Your best tool is visualisation. Try it for a few minutes each day.

2. Comparing yourselves with others is just not healthy. 
Your confidence and self belief will be destroyed if you make comparisons to other people. It is a very challenging habit to break especially in the age of social media when we always see those living their best lives. Social media sometimes feels just like an opportunity to compare ourselves to others, many of whom we have never even met. They have the ideal lives, perfect homes and sail through life in a blur of creative or positive endeavours. It's enough to make anyone feel depressed and I know it makes me feel like I am a failure. Stop it!! Change your focus and focus on what you already have and how lucky you are.

3. You are worth investing in.
The best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Your confidence can be increased by picking up new talents, skills and broadening your knowledge. You can be motivated to attempt new things and push yourself beyond of your comfort zone by even making little, positive adjustments. Try taking a course to learn something new. There are lots of inexpensive online courses available online. Taking regular exercise and eating nourishing food invests in your health and invest in your creative abilities by pursuing a new hobby such as playing an instrument, painting, gardening or cooking.

4. Self confidence and standing tall. 
You'll feel better if you try to walk tall and hold your head high. 
Try experimenting with how your stance and posture affect your mood and how you feel. Lift your head, and make an effort to straighten your body.

5. Try a different perspective.
Consider your own thoughts. Are they joyful or depressed? Positive or negative? Do they make you stronger or weaker? Because they are so strong, our thoughts can significantly influence how we feel. We can choose our ideas in the same way we would choose items from a menu and how we feed our minds is just as essential as how we feed our bodies. If you were aware that something wouldn't make you feel good, would you still order it? You have the power to choose the way you think about a situation, no matter what the circumstances and in day to day life that means making choices that reflect your values and supports your dreams. With practice, you'll develop a skill that will become second nature to you.

6. Use positive affirmations.
There are many positive affirmations available online, but choose them wisely and change them to match your needs and goals. Nothing will happen if you simply repeat an affirmation without any sentiments attached. Consider your goals and use them as your affirmation.

7. Be kind to yourself. 
Rebuilding and improving your confidence may take some time so be patient with yourself and give yourself some leeway. It can be a good idea to take stock of your life now and determine what is helping you and what is hurting you. Make time for relaxation, surround yourself with good people and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Do you sometimes suffer with a lack of confidence?


  1. Oh yes I definitely struggle with my confidence! I'm a bit like you with children that are getting older and don't need me so much, and I've been a SAHM since they were little when I was made redundant. Now I feel that I lack the confidence to get any kind of job out of the home (although not that I really want to!) I definitely need to remind myself that I still have a useful role in the family (I spent the morning cutting the hedge and apple tree which saved us more money than I would have earned in that time!)

  2. I loved reading this Kim! It's funny how you would think that the older we get the more confident we become. I guess I am more confident in many ways than I was when I was younger. But I think that my confidence takes a bit of a beating when I go through changes. This year has seen a lot of changes in my life so I have been trying hard to do positive affirmations and get away from negative self talk. It's been a challenge.

  3. Excellent post and you covered it very well. Being kind to yourself and forgiving yourself for mistakes are hard for most of us.

  4. I love this. I think a lack of confidence often comes after having kids. We tend to forget about ourselves in the midst of bringing up the kiddies. You are so right, we need to be kinder to ourself. x