Tuesday 19 March 2024

Why being shy is a good thing.

I have always been a quite person. As a child I was painfully shy and I still am. You would never guess it with the fact that I write this blog. Writing things online is different than speaking to people face to face or even over the phone. There are plenty of times that I hate it and hate myself for not speaking up and out loud but sometimes I actually think it's a good thing. Being shy is not a flaw to be fixed or a hurdle to overcome, it's a superpower in its own right.

person in brown long sleeve shirt covering face with hand

There is a myth that being shy equals weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth! Being shy doesn't mean I'm timid or lacking in confidence, it simply means I approach social situations with a bit more caution and that caution often serves me well, allowing me to think about what I am going to say before I speak. My friend used to introduce me as the quiet one, the one who would sit there and take everything thing and she was right. Ever heard the phrase "still waters run deep"? Well, that perfectly sums up the essence of shy individuals. While others might be busy dominating the conversation, I'm quietly taking in my surroundings, picking up on subtle cues like the way someone twirls their hair when they're nervous to someone's change in tone when they're upset. I may not always be the loudest voice in the room but I can sit in the background and get a good idea about what people are really like. All and that attention to detail comes in handy more often than you'd think. Sometimes I see or hear things that those who were full of chatter did not notice.

One of the great things about being shy is that it turns you into an expert listener. Others open up to you and lead the conversation. People love to have a good chat to me as I will listen to them without butting in at every given chance, they get things off their chest, share their worries and people have said I have a calming effect on them as I am not in their face, talking to them. 

I may not be the life of the party but when it comes to forming deep meaningful connections I'm a pro! Shyness has taught me to value quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. I'd rather have a few close friends who really get me than a bunch of acquaintances any day. 

Being shy doesn't mean I'm stuck in my ways. I'm constantly challenging myself to step outside of my comfort zone and embracing new experiences and each time I do, I come out stronger and a little bit more confident than before. I still hate speaking on the phone but sometimes I will surprise myself, like when British Gas were messing me around with something I was that angry that my shyness just went out of the window and I argued back and eventually got what I wanted.

In a world that sometimes feels like everyone is confident and loud being shy keeps me grounded. I'm not one to put on a show or wear a mask to fit in. What you see is what you get, no frills and no fuss. Shyness is not a bad thing. It's a part of who I am and it's what makes me uniquely me. So the next time someone tries to tell you to stop being so shy, hold your head high and embrace your shyness with pride!

Are you a shy person?


  1. Great post! I tend to be shy, reluctant to go where I'll have to put myself forward. In my husband's career, there were a lot of social occasions, and I just dreaded them. Making small talk with people you don't know is so difficult. I tried to adapt and found an outlet in volunteering. When I was with others who supported the same cause, it was a lot less stressful.

  2. Love this! I think it's something to be proud of and well done for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
    Although I wouldn't say I'm shy, I do get 'peopled out' quite often. And I definitely agree, I much prefer a few really close friends rather than just lots people of people that 'I know'. xx

  3. I am super shy and I can relate to everything in this fantastic post. I was worse as a kid and a teen, even walking down the aisle to get married was a nightmare because there were so many people looking at me! These days I'm still very shy but as I've gotten older I am a little more confident to speak up and my shyness almost completely goes out the window if I hear 80s music!

  4. I myself am an outgoing extrovert, but my husband and both boys are shy - when my oldest was born he had his eyes wide open, and my dr said he'd never miss a thing, he'd always be watching and assessing and that has turned out to be true!