Tuesday 13 June 2023

How I became a mum! #NotJustAMom

 Here I am linking up with the Not Just A Mom ladies: Adrienne at Mom Life With Adrienne, Dara at Not In Jersey, Jen at Show Me and Sweet Tea, Joanne at Slices of Life, Lauren at Don't Mind our Mess and Sarah at Toronto Sam.

This months prompt is: How we became a mom!

Me and my girls

I didn't feel like a mum until well after Becky my eldest was born. It is a bit of a shock having your first child. You are pregnant for nine months with a typical pregnancy and then you have a real life human to take care of.

Everything seemed a bit rushed when I had Becky. I got sent from a normal midwife appointment to the hospital for a scan as the midwife was a little concerned how Becky was lying inside of me. It turns out she was breech and I needed a c-section. I had a birth plan and c-section wasn't in it! I had a couple of days to prepare for it and I remember going into the hospital and the nurse asking if I was OK and ready? Nope, I wasn't. I remember saying "what if she doesn't like me and I am not a good mum". I felt so stupid as soon as it came out of my mouth and the nurse gave me a hug, chuckled and said it's OK. I was terrified but the nurse said every first time mum has some sort of fear.

Becky was born and it still didn't feel real even when she was in my arms, when I was trying to breastfeed her, changing her nappy or even just looking at her.

Pregnant and a new baby in my arms

It is such a shock going from only caring about yourself to caring about a little human who depends on you for everything. 

I think the moment I became a mum was when I said enough was enough with breastfeeding. I tried feeding breastfeeding her from when she was born until she was about 5 days old and it wasn't doing either of us any good. The midwife was visiting every day to give me injections because of the c-section and I asked her if I was a bad mum if I stopped breastfeeding and moved over to bottle feeding? She said I was a good mum because I was making a decision which was best for myself and my child.

Making decisions for yourself is tough enough but making them for a child too is something else but I have gone on to do it with Becky and with Ellie my youngest daughter too. I think making those tough decisions really make you a mother!

When did you first feel like a mum?


  1. That's a good question -- I don't remember the first thing I did where I felt like a mom. Sometimes, I still have to go, "Hey, I'm a mom!" It's like a new realization even now :)

  2. I don't know if I could pinpoint one moment, but it could be when we were at the breastfeeding clinic and I was sitting there crying and the nurse (who happened to be from Jamaica and those are the best kind of nurses if you ask me) said "Why are you crying? You are doing a good job, you are looking after your baby. Don't you worry."

  3. It sounds like you had a wonderful midwife. She gave you the perfect answer. I don't really remember the moment I first felt like a mom either-- though I do remember ALL the moments I felt like a failure as a mom!

  4. I think we do all have some real fears about becoming mothers, and especially with our first! Sounds like your midwife and nurses were the best kind - understanding and encouraging, and gave very wise advice. I don't remember when I actually FELT like a mom . . . that's an interesting way to consider the question. I think it was when my first was about a day old and had a few minor seizures - he was moved to NICU and I made the decision to continue to breastfeed despite having to make the trek between my room and the NICU on another floor every couple of hours. But boy, I felt like a failure as a mom too, and of course that's when the post partum depression hit me! Love your sweet story and the beautiful pictures of you and your little ones!

  5. Your sweet story touched me and your photos are adorable. You're so young and cute!

  6. What a lovely story. I love seeing the pictures too, so wonderful. xx

  7. Thisiswhereitisat16 June 2023 at 20:13

    This was a lovely read X

  8. I can’t remember exactly when I felt like a mum but I do remember that overwhelming feeling of having to be totally responsible for another human. I also remember leaving the hospital feeling like I had kidnapped a baby and now I had to work out what to do!