Wednesday 15 May 2019

It feels like the bedtime battles are over.

A new study has revealed the extent to which modern parents are losing the battle of bedtime with 55 percent trying desperately to establish a bedtime routine but almost the same amount (51 percent) saying in reality it is the single most stressful time of the day.

The study reveals it takes a further 43 minutes (average) after teeth and stories to get children to settle properly and go to sleep with the research revealing the average bedtime includes three bedtime stories, two tantrums, four kisses goodnight, two claims of illness and another two shouts for parents to rearrange sheets. 

Now that my girls are older it isn't too bad. I'm not gloating and saying we never had the bedtime battles but now mu girls are older they do go to bed more easily. There is hope.

Out of my two girls Ellie was definitely the most challenging! Some nights she would still be awake after 11pm which went right up to last year. She was an expert at stalling going to sleep. She would do the whole routine of coming down to the toilet, needing a drink, saying she was hungry, needed a cuddle or had something really important to tell us which couldn't wait until the morning. She would try and play with her toys in her bedroom and at one point we took them all out of her room to stop it happening. It didn't really make much difference. She has such a great imagination that she would always make up a game to play. 

We tried night lights, things which played music, getting her to read, reading her stories, letting her watch TV, giving her calming baths, sitting with her where she should have drifted off to sleep, sitting outside of her room and even begging but nothing would make her sleep.

It obviously meant that she struggled to get up on a morning, especially on a school day. She would be grumpy and sometimes in the foulest of moods. It affected her at school. She struggled to concentrate.

We used to dread bedtime but something changed with Ellie when she started secondary school. She has been asleep most nights by half past nine and 10pm at the latest. Some nights it's even earlier. She doesn't struggle to get to sleep now and it is done with no fuss at all. At first I put it down to the fact that she was walking more, to, from and around school but then last December she was diagnosed with social anxiety. I now think that she stressed and worried about school that much that she couldn't sleep. Now that she's happier in school she is a happier, more relaxed child and most importantly she sleeps!!

48 percent of parents confess bedtime battles makes them feel miserable and almost half (47 percent) say it makes them bad tempered and 27 percent worry about the effect it has on their relationship. Stu and I did used to argue when Ellie wouldn't go to sleep. Not full on rows but we would bicker. We really did used to dread bedtimes.

Both of my girls go upstairs at 9pm at the latest and Becky usually chooses to watch TV while Ellie usually chooses to read. I always go upstairs to check on them at half past nine when Ellie is usually dozing off and Becky is halfway through watching a TV programme. Becky has always being great for going to bed and sleep. She will usually switch her TV of at 11pm.

It really feels like the bedtime battles are over here. Now I just struggle with getting Becky out of bed on a weekend. She will happily sleep until lunchtime. lol


  1. Ohh I'm so glad to hear you've managed to get this sorted, it must be a relief to know that Ellie is happier as well as that she's sleeping better. Luckily mine are really good about going to bed at the moment, long may it continue!

  2. Ours have the same need time, and pretty much so the same things. We still have battles with our youngest, but it's expected, because of his asd and anxiety x

  3. It must be such a relief that Ellie is more settled now. Jayden is brilliant at bedtime and always has been really. Joben is a little more of a challenge though! x