Tuesday 14 July 2020

It's all out in the open now.

Becky has been open and honest about being gay with Stu, myself and her own friends but one person we kept it from was my dad. 

My dad is 70 odd years old and is of the generation that thinks men should be with woman and vice versa. He knows plenty of gay people, male and female and doesn't treat them any differently than a hetrosexual person to their faces but when their back is turned he will say how wrong it is. I don't agree with what he says and neither does his partner. I don't want to defend him but he is my dad, we have had many falling's out over it over the years and I really didn't want this to be the cause of another one.

When Becky came out to Stu and I one of her biggest fears would be how her Grandad, my dad would take it. We decided to keep things to ourselves until things were serious between her and a girlfriend. That time came. Becky has been seeing "A" for over 6 months now and we decided a few weeks ago it was time to tell my dad.

We decided that we wouldn't tell my dad anything over the phone, it would be better face to face so when we visited the first time when some of the lock down restrictions had been lifted we thought it's better now than never.

I went for a walk with my dad, he was showing me his apple trees and I decided to say something.

I said something along the lines of "Dad, Becky has something to tell you but she doesn't know how to tell you so I am". He looked at me with fear in his face and said "is she pregnant?". I burst out laughing and between fits of laughter I said "no, it's just about the opposite of being pregnant". I didn't use the word "gay" I just said Becky has a girlfriend and has since Christmas. He said thank god! 

I think him thinking for a few seconds that Becky was pregnant was a good thing. To him Becky having a girlfriend was nothing compared to her being pregnant. Not that there's anything wrong with teen pregnancies but you just don't want it for your kids or grandkids. He was shocked but he did say that it's up to Becky and whatever makes her happy makes him happy too. He of course had a dig and said he doesn't want to them flaunting it in front of him and snogging on until he gets used to the idea. I think we will take that as a win. When I was a teen my dad was the same. He wasn't keen on seeing me "snogging on" with boys. So I have told Becky not to take it personally.

My dad has spoke to Becky and asked about her girlfriend. The usual questions. Where does she live?, who does she live with?, what do her parents do? The same questions he used to ask me when I had a new boyfriend when I was Becky's age. lol He seems to have accepted it.

Becky's girlfriend "A" has said she wants to meet my dad and my dad is keen on meeting "A" too. We have said we are going to wait a bit until things have calmed down a little more with the lockdown or whatever it's called now and my dad is a tad busy at the moment with his business. My dad seems to be accepting that Becky is gay but I do want to give him chance to get his head around things and to be honest I want to prepare "A". My dad is a big character. Eek!


  1. I think with the older generation its more a fear of saying the wrong thing rather than any worry about anyone being gay .

  2. So glad it went well. You sound like you handled it brilliantly and your Dad too. Couldn't help smiling at him thinking she was pregnant. #MMBC

  3. Ah this is wonderful news. Of course we all want the big so what, giant hugs and what not but you know your dad and sounds like you've all managed it the best way. I hope he continues to accept her way of living and it'll never be an issue. You're such awesome parents and I wish Becky so much happiness with A. X

  4. It is so much better when things are out in the open. We had this in the family a while ago and the person was worried about what nanny and grandad would think. To be honest they were totally fine with it and expected it. I also totally get the kissing thing but I'm like that with any couple no matter who you are with. To me it's a private thing, I'm a bit old fashioned like that lol It must feel like such a weight as lifted x

  5. Haha that must be amusing to think she might be pregnant. I'm glad all is ok with the whole situation. X #mmbc

  6. Ah I am glad it went well. Bet it was a relief x

  7. What a relief! So glad your dad was accepting. You and Becky must both be so relieved. It's great that A wants to meet your dad too.

  8. I'm so glad it went well Kim, you're such a wonderful Mum for supporting Becky like that! Noone should have to fear coming out to a loved one and I'm so pleased to hear that she has the support of her Grandad now too :)